Ken
Part of the price of admission to this life experience is the acceptance of the belief that it is real. We are taught to rely on our senses in order to determine what reality is for us. Yet, we know that our bodily senses are very unreliable. That which seems solid to our human sight and touch is, in reality, mostly empty space. The Hindus call it "Maya" which means illusion. And they are right! I, like you, have good reason to believe that I have loved ones on the "other side" who care for me and occassionally find little ways to let me know they are there. I have known folks, however, that get so distracted trying to communicate with those "crossed over" that they don't live life on this side. Some seem to think that those crossed over are enlightened and know more than we do. Probably not. If you apply the definition of "permanent" to the term real, then all of this is illusion because none of it will last. Perhaps we have enrolled in a crash couse of spiritual development called "Earth Experience 101".