Posts by NeonMadman

7

Hey Relax -- Armageddon > 10 yrs away

by Gopher in

those of you who are/were jw's, do you remember how the beginning sign of the great tribulation was the declaration of "peace and security" right before the sudden destruction of the nations?

the jw's applied 1 thessalonians 5 to their own impending salvation from this evil world.. so with bated breath, jw's have been watching for this sign -- this declaration, to come from somewhere, anywhere!!

could it be the united nations, or perhaps the world's superpowers??

NeonMadman

Gopher, you obviously just don't get it...

If there's a war, it means the end is very near, because wars are a part of the "composite sign" given by Jesus.

If there isn't a war, then the nations are working to bring about peace, so the final declaration of "peace and security" is about to happen.

Either way, the end is coming ANY DAY NOW!!

Similar reasoning:

If the organization increases in size, Jehovah is blessing his people.

If the organization decreases in size, Jehovah is sifting his people.

BUT...

If another religion increases in size, Satan is decieving many along the "broad path" to destruction.

And if another religion decreases in size, the "waters of the Euphrates are drying up", proving that the end is near.

Either way, no matter what happens,

** The Watchtower is God's one organization, and all other religions are of Satan, and
**the end is coming ANY DAY NOW!!

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

15

Legal Suggestion when facing Elders

by Amazing in

jw
friends

legal suggestion when facing elders .

there have been a number of posts stating that the elders have called and requested a meeting.

i guess that either there is a full moon out, or the society has been putting the bug up the elder's rectal orfice to chase down less than active jws.

NeonMadman

Doggone it, Amazing. I find myself cutting and pasting far more of your material than anybody else's into Word, so that I can preserve it for future reference. I hope you're gonna publish all this stuff one of these days so I can get an "official" copy!

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

19

What I am Reading, What I am Listening To

by mikepence in

jw
friends

in the interest of getting an idea of what interests people here, use this thread to post what you are into right now.. i am reading.... susan sontag's "in america" ( http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/asin/0374175403/mikepence-20) what an incredible author.

this book won the national book award.

see the reviews on amazon.

NeonMadman

Currently Reading:

American Gods by Neil Gaiman
Economics: Principles, Problems and Policies, by McConnell and Brue, 15th ed., the text for the ECO101 course I'm taking.

Recently Finished:

Right Behind, a moderately funny parody of the Left Behind series (I forget the author's name)
Hostage to the Devil, by Malachi Martin
End-Time Visions, by Richard Abanes
Desecration, the 9th Left Behind book.

Recent Listening:

Love and Theft, Bob Dylan
The Remains of Tom Lehrer
America Live
Actual Miles, Don Henley
and other stuff

And, just yesterday, I was gnashing my teeth as I listened to Respect Jehovah's Authority by ~~Cartman~~ the Watchtower Bible and Tract Society, a drama on CD.

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

11

Role Play among the Dubs

by Duncan in

jw
friends

dear all, .

this is my 100th post, and i decided to repost something i originally did as a post on h2o a couple of years ago.

it was a reply to somebody, and buried miles-deep in the thread, so hopefully it wont have been read by too many already.

NeonMadman

So just how far can a fully laden swallow fly ?

Would that be an African swallow or a European swallow?

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

59

Guilt over Self-Pleasuring as a Dub. You?

by Lari in

i'm wondering if any of you suffered major guilt over getting yourself off while a dub.

or did you all manage to abstain until you left?

i know it was one of the main reasons i left.

NeonMadman

I remember feeling really guilty about it as a young'un. (Baptized at 17, didn't get married till 26, you do the math). Never really slowed me down that much; I think I quit once for about a week and a half, then gave up trying (not sure I could do a week and a half now without some sort of sexual release, and I'm 49 and a newlywed - imagine how hard it was to do that at 18 or 19). But I was somewhat relieved to note, even at that tender age, that masturbation wasn't actually mentioned in the Bible, much less condemned. I couldn't help thinking that if it was all that important to God that we didn't do it, he'd have at least slipped a hint into the Bible somewhere.

SaintSatan said:

The elders really did try to help. Of course they referred me to the mags on that subject. Also, the usual: keeping busy, visiting old people, no spicy food,

Can someone explain to me why the heck spicy food is supposed to make you want to masturbate? I've never in my life jerked off because I had a bowl of chili...

DakotaRed said:

As to feeling guilt over it, maybe if you decide to "bop the baloney" a few times a day, I might be inclined to believe you have a problem.

Shoot, then the elders were right back then, I did have a problem...

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

255

Going out with a bang

by LittleToe in

jw
friends

after much deliberation, i decided to go "out" at the end of a public talk.

it didn't go down too well, but at least i was able to give some of my reasons for leaving.. i've put some of the details on my homepage.

i'll update it more when i get the time and the strength.

NeonMadman

I remember hearing about this sort of thing years ago, when there was a lot of turmoil in the Worldwide Church of God over the doctrinal changes they went through. A minister would become disillusioned and, rather than quietly resigning, would detail his reasons and announce his resignation in a sermon. When this happened, they referred to it as "dropping the bomb". As with the JW's, the minister was shunned thereafter (as well as unemployed, since WCG had a paid ministry).

I've never heard of it happening in a Kingdom Hall before. It took incredible guts on your part, and it amazes me nonetheless that you didn't have elders and attendants leaping all over you to drag you from the platform. Kudos on a successful 'bombing raid'!

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

14

Are you a true apostate?

by sleepy in

jw
friends

are you a true apostate?.

heres a test that has been put together by the worlds top scientists to determine your true level of apostateness.. you recieve the latest watchtower and awake do you,.

a.devour its contents eagerly.. b.have a look to find the errors.. c.throw it in the bin.. d.cover it in petrol, set light to it and dance around praising satan.. how do yo feel about the elders ?.

NeonMadman

Hmmm...I only rated a "C". Obviously my apostate spirituality is weak, and I have not been doing all I can in the anti-WT-Kingdom work. I'll have to put forth a greater effort in the future to increase my apostate meeting attendance and my non-field service hours. Until I do, I'll understand if you choose not to extend any apostate privileges to me.

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

42

Personality Survey

by ninjaturtle in

jw
friends

what's your personality type?

take this test if you're not sure:.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp.

NeonMadman

Your Type is
ISTJ
Introverted Sensing Thinking Judging
Strength of the preferences %
56 33 33 22

Guess I'm just a shrinking violet...

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

15

Talking About Talks..

by Englishman in

jw
friends

go on, be honest, how did you enjoy giving talks?.

were you nervous?.

glad when it was over?.

NeonMadman

I enjoyed giving talks very much, and was always regarded as one of the best speakers in the congregation. Oddly, I was most comfortable speaking from a manuscript rather than an outline, but I didn't read the talk. Basically, my talk-writing style was to write the whole thing out, then boil it down to an outline afterward. Well, unless I was working on "use of outline" or such, I was usually too lazy to cut the notes back to outline form, so I talked directly from the manuscript. I usually didn't follow it very closely; used it as one would use an outline and said what I wanted to at the moment. It was a pretty unusual way to give talks, but it worked for me. Occasionally, an elder would notice what I was doing and try to counsel me on it, but, given that my talks were better than most anyone else's in the congregation, there wasn't much he could say.

Toward the end, I got more liberal in handling the material, too. I would make the talk what I wanted it to be, using the assigned material as the base, but branching out more or less where I wanted to go, bringing in what the Bible said, not actually contradicting the Society's position, but definitely expressing scriptural concepts in ways not usually heard in Kingdom Halls. In one of my last talks, I concluded by suggesting that the next time the audience looked at a picture in one of the publications of Jesus nailed to the stake, they should say to themselves, "That should be me up there...He suffered and died that way because of my sins." Very unconventional stuff for a Kingdom Hall. When I walked back through the audience, a few people had tears in their eyes.

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan

16

News on Dan Sydlik anyone?

by Room 215 in

jw
friends

hi all,.

a recent thread mentioned the possibility that gb member dan sydlik may well be on his death bed.

is there any news on this?

NeonMadman

NYtel says:

I know the news.......do you?

So there is news, then?

Tom
"The truth was obscure, too profound and too pure; to live it you had to explode." ---Bob Dylan