Emeth's post that i repost here
'Magnum in my opinion apostates are ex-jw's that actively turn against their former faith. ex-jw's that just fade away and build up a life without anti-witness activism are not 'despised' by me.'
made me think about when i left the witnesses.
The date that i stopped attending was a day that two elders finally came to visit me after i had repeated requested the visit. At the conclusion of our discussion of the things the various things that were bothering me i asked them if they wanted to disfellowship me. They said no. They didn't feel it was apostasy as long as i didn't talk to others about it. So I said okay.
My family left as well at the same time. I had no reason to discuss anything with others. In the months that preceded the visit our friends had nothing to do with us and in the couple of years since the Watchtower that had started my problem with my beliefs I had talked to my friends and family about it and made clear how I felt which had resulted in an elder visit with in weeks. That one didn't go so well.
Had the situation been different and my family had stayed (although originally for the children's sake as i thought i maybe wrong i would have preferred in some ways that they had) and then a division had been caused in my family my attitude may have been very different. I may have been more of an activist.
Some years after leaving one of my children expressed a desire to return and go to the hall. I returned with them and became a regular meeting attender. At one of the meetings an elder, one who had been to see me on the first visit approached us and introduced himself to my daughter and chatted. He talked about coming to know God's name and what it meant to him. Near the end of his chat he told my daughter 'you don't need to listen to him' motioning toward me standing there and encouraged her to make a choice herself. On another occasion talking to an elder who didn't know me another elder came up who did know me butted into our conversation put his arm around the elder i was talking with and literally pulled him away from me without a word to me.
Over the years i have had elders visit one came regularly and i have met witnesses i know. I am happy to not talk about my views and beliefs however they always bring it up. After all they are witnesses and want to talk about their faith. I will always defend my position I think it is only christian. Usually they leave, one in the street after asking me a question regarding how i feel now not being a witness and the world conditions held up their hand and turned away and ignored me and started a conversation with someone else when i gave my answer.
So going back to when i left and not talking to people about my decision to leave and the two types of ex witness that emeth mentions i feel that i'm in a grey area and as i say if my family had been divided as some have i would want unity in my family and my situation may have been very different.