Unlearn

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Posts by Unlearn

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  35

  This Forum. Has it changed? For the better or for the worse? Or not a at all?

  by ThomasCovenant in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  when i post i try to imagine that i am at a social gathering or sometimes in someone's house as a dinner guest.

  that way it is easier to follow the community guidelines and posting rules set out on the site at the bottom of the page.

  i wouldn't want to make a fool of myself in public.

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  Unlearn

  Worse.
  The conservative/right-wing bent around here is as irritating & limiting as the JW garbage. Have to admit, it's kept me away from here.
  But different strokes, and all that. My opinion is worth whatever you want to send to my Paypal account...
  
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  194

  Bethel Rules

  by brotherdan in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  this was brought up just in passing on another thread.

  but i wanted to see if there are any bethelites or ex bethelites that remember some of the crazy rules we had to follow when we were there..

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  Unlearn

  'My overseer told me I was huge for a woman I am 5'6 and I weighed 125 but he said I was fat and could stand to bulk up.'
  
  Yea, i can remember working in Patterson during the building in 1993, and my overseer was a cat named Mark...
  I was 6'0, around 195, and in my early 20's...and that guy told me i was 'overweight' and needed to stop eating so much (he'd never seen me eating anything). I'd never thought about my weight until then...and that guy screwed me up for a while there...
  
  I HATED Patterson...
  got reassigned at Brooklyn towards the end: man, I felt like I had been released from prison...
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  46

  City of Houston Demands Pastors Turn Over Gay-Bashing Sermons

  by cultBgone in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  has anyone else seen this, or did i just miss the posting?.

  http://www.foxnews.com/opinion/2014/10/14/city-houston-demands-pastors-turn-over-sermons/.

  here's the opening paragraph:.

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  Unlearn

  What you all have to realize is that this group of religious leaders in Houston SUED THE CITY.
  The city requesting these sermons as part of gathering info. for a legal case has precedent...
  
  that said, I'm so sick of people who worship the old gods of the Sinai peninsula preaching hate and discrimination in the very fundamentals of their belief systems and trying to influence public policy with it, and then crying 'DISCRIMINATION!' when they are singled out for anything...
  
  keep your goofy god out of public policy that we all have to live by.
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  105

  I've lurked a long time: JW's produce some of the most paranoid humans

  by Unlearn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'll keep this brief for now.. long time lurker (4 years or so).. born-in, elder, used on district level (last talk i gave before i left was the baptisimal talk), and lots of hard time put in...before i finally made the move to split.

  it's a long stoy, much like many of yours...but with it's own little interesting twists.

  more details in the future, perhaps.. as i said, ive lurked here for a while.. its funny: for a long time i'd only come on late at night.

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  Unlearn

  So it's been a couple of years since I posted this.
  Pretty soon, I'm going to 'come out' publicly.
  I think it could be for the best. I have a somewhat 'public' identity which is somewhat influential to a certain circle of funny and weird people in the world.
  Maybe going public could help one or two folks in that little circle.
  
  This site was an aid in helping me get over the JW Gestapo atmosphere... ;)
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  83

  Blown away-- where to go from here

  by All for show in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i stumbled upon this website a few weeks ago due to the jw.org ridiculousness, since then i haven't been able to pull myself away.

  the thoughts, feelings, and concerns i have had the past few years aren't just mine.

  it's global.

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  Unlearn

  Don't worry about what other JW's think and 'how it's going to look' and all of that. Those folks, elders, etc all have ZERO power over you. That's hard to come to terms with early on, especially if you were born in. Your entire mind is programmed a certain way...and you'll slowly undo the wiring.
  You ever see an animal that's been abused. A dog, for instance, is very skittish...keeps his head low, won't even look you in the eye. In many ways, that's someone who is just leaving the JW's after a life-time of being 'in'.
  'What will the friends say?'
  'Did they see us?'
  'Be quiet! The Elders are at the door!'
  
  Trust me, after a while, you won't care. You'll laugh at how you were...and it's a good laugh...because you know we've ALL been there.
  You'll unlearn everything...and you'll be SO happy.
  And you won't have that little feeling in your stomach when you see JW's out there at the store, or at the theater, or wherever you might run into them. You've risen. You're living in the REAL WORLD.
  You're going to be so happy. Watch! ;)
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  6

  The amusing 'last hurdle' I had to overcome before I finally left the JW's....

  by Unlearn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me add that it's amusing now...as so many things are in hindsight...but at the time it was really stressful.

  almost terrifying.. see, i was in my mid 30's and an elder.

  i was born-in, from one of those families with a long, decorated history in the thing.

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  Unlearn

  hang in there Max....
  focus on your wife.
  once i got my wife to mentally come around (it took a year), things got a lot easier.
  and even when things got tight (and they did), i didn't mind blowing up my entire known life, if i had my girl with me.
  it's less scary when you're back to back with someone you can trust.
  and 'trust'...man, it's like gold in that process.
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  6

  The amusing 'last hurdle' I had to overcome before I finally left the JW's....

  by Unlearn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me add that it's amusing now...as so many things are in hindsight...but at the time it was really stressful.

  almost terrifying.. see, i was in my mid 30's and an elder.

  i was born-in, from one of those families with a long, decorated history in the thing.

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  Unlearn

  let me add that it's amusing NOW...as so many things are in hindsight...but at the time it was really stressful. almost terrifying.
  see, i was in my mid 30's and an elder. i was born-in, from one of those families with a long, decorated history in the thing. i progressed really quickly in the org. by my mid-30's i was being used frequently at the district level, active in several commitees, and had a really easy-going relationship with all of the heavies in my area of the country that many others were intimidated by.
  so, after i knew for a certainty that it was a cult, all made-up (like all of religion), and based on an old book that was myth and fable, seeded with references to historical events to provide an illusion of 'accuracy'...after all that, what kept me in was this: is leaving good for my 'career'?
  see, i realized that i had come a long way in the org. JW men have no real access to secular success/prominence (if they truly buy into the cult...which i did), and the org knows this. so they create a career 'ladder' in the org to satiate that need for goal>progress>success. 'reaching out' is basically going after the promotion. becoming an elder or getting appointed for some position is basically like winning the award, getting the new house, getting the new car, getting a raise, etc.
  i had done so much and 'achieved' so much in there at a young age...it was like, 'im throwing away my career!'. a lot of eyes on me. people who depend on me. people who know my name. time invested. sweat invested. at the very final hour, there were no thoughts of god or faith or anything else...just ME.
  human after all.;)
  i dare say that THIS is why many good men who have positions of prominence in that cult will never be able to walk away. i was fortunate that, on the side, i had been building a secular career (much to the consternation of some of the holy rollers) and that career gave me a measure of self-confidence, independent from Watchtower. i was lucky. most of those guys have NOTHING out there. no education, no good job, no prospects, no friends. nothing.
  it's dripping with irony, but 'where else will they go?'
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  1

  RELAX! Its Halloween!

  by Unlearn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  happy halloween!.

  i hope you enjoyed yourself tonite and just had a great time.

  eat candy, dress up, hang with your kids...and try to forget that you were once so occupied with the origins of every tradition, activity, or experience you've tasted.

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  Unlearn

  Happy Halloween!
  I hope you enjoyed yourself tonite and just had a great time. Eat candy, dress up, hang with your kids...and try to forget that you were once SO occupied with the origins of every tradition, activity, or experience you've tasted. If you looked into the origins of everything you do, or say, or see, or want...and determined whether you participated based on what some dead guy/gal believed hundreds or thousands of years ago...well damnit! You'd have to stop doing half of the things you do all the time...from wearing jewelry, to using the word 'Thursday'.
  Screw that. Being happy RULES.
  GO DRESS UP AND EAT CANDY TODAY.
  
  ;) unlearn
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  13

  LOU REED - r.i.p. (a special memory)

  by Unlearn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've always loved lou's music.... hearing about his death this am makes me remember when my little family was on the run.

  i was a 'visible' elder in my community, so when we got 'free' mentally, we took a choice available to us that, sadly, some don't have.

  we disappeared...just relocated to another town.. listening to 'a perfect day' by lou reed reminds me of those first few months...walking through one of the big city parks on cold sundays...both of us beaten and bruised and still in shock.

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  Unlearn

  i've always loved Lou's music...
  hearing about his death this AM makes me remember when my little family was on the run. i was a 'visible' elder in my community, so when we got 'free' mentally, we took a choice available to us that, sadly, some don't have. we disappeared...just relocated to another town.
  listening to 'A Perfect Day' by Lou Reed reminds me of those first few months...walking through one of the big city parks on cold Sundays...both of us beaten and bruised and still in shock. we'd lost all of our friends, almost all of our family (who kind of knew we were 'spiritually sick'. heh..). we were mentally, physically, and emotionally drained, but free.
  incognito on a sunday afternoon. in a new place where no one knew us. where we could just be 'us', and it wasn't against anyones 'rules'.
  living like refugees.
  but some of those days walking through the city on Sunday mornings...i remember telling her that, you know...i could die right there with her and it somehow felt 'full' and right.
  
  ok, im rambling.
  
  goodbye Lou...
  -unlearn
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  164

  Did Cedars manipulate Lee into having a thread closed?

  by cedars in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i will happily answer this question if there can be some guarantees this thread won't be deleted..

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  Unlearn

  THIS ^
  
  im more empatheitc to that poor soul who's been juggling and walking the 'fader' tightrope...watching his back and trying to maintain some manner of sanity in exiting this cult, cuddenly faced with terror...rapid heart beating, head swimming with what-ifs, the nervous nausea growing in them as they realize they've potentially been outed oby a group of folks that they put a certain amount of trust in (perhaps naively).
  
  let's talk about that, Cedars.
  i could give a damn about some stupid thread on a forum board being locked or unlocked.
  i also don't get into this, 'let's forget everything and just all get along...' thing.
  in some cases, things need to be brought to a head.
  
  people kill me...