Posts by out4good3

49

JWs REFUSE to Reason!

by brotherdan in

so last night my wife brought the situation up again and kept telling me how sorry i'm going to be for what i'm doing to our family.

i kept a mild attitude and tried to reason with her.. she refused!.

i went about it in the way that sweet baby cheezits recommended.

out4good3

The womans definitely not thinking things through......

She is in full retaliatory mode....

49

JWs REFUSE to Reason!

by brotherdan in

so last night my wife brought the situation up again and kept telling me how sorry i'm going to be for what i'm doing to our family.

i kept a mild attitude and tried to reason with her.. she refused!.

i went about it in the way that sweet baby cheezits recommended.

She can't fault the logic of what you're proposing so she's falling back on the usual WT "thought stopping" mechanisms; internalizing every uncomfotably conclusive issue as an attack upon their person thereby avoiding the REAL issue.

Rather than respond to any logic that risks alienating her from mother hen WT, she's choosing to get sarcastic, not respond at all, and lobbing an accusation at you. She's on the defensive, a place JWs aren't very comfortable when it comes to their faith. They have to feel like they are constantly in control and leading any exercise. And her only way out is to throw our a veiled accusation and have you answer that instead of her being force to conclude verbalizing anything that conflicts with her cult mode training.

My wife was exactly the same way.

Like I said before.....Love and Respect.....pour on the kindness and empathy for the way she feels, listen to her witness stories as long as they don't conclude with them being used as a club to beat you over the head with.

This is what I did with my wife. Whenever she "went there" I calmly told her that if this is where she's going, we're not having this conversation, get up and walk out the room. If she wanted me to have respect for her going to the meetings, then she would have to give me the same respect for not going.

I suspect that if you stay together, this is what she's going to be trying to do until she's convinced that you are firm in your commitment and are not budging.

63

Today I seized the day...and disassociated myself

by carpediem in

jw
friends

and i feel good!

it was a long time coming.

i stopped going to meetings june 09. the reason i left it so long is because my husband is still in and for this reason i see witnesses from time to time.

out4good3

Boy.......

Is your WT spiritual head going to be pissed or what!!!!!!

Congratulations!!!

121

Broken Heart...

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

some of you have read what i wrote on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/200211/1/never-wake-up.

here's the final email my wife just sent me 1 minute ago:.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves /> <w:trackformatting /> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf /> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark /> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp /> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables /> <w:dontvertalignintxbx /> <w:word11kerningpairs /> <w:cachedcolbalance /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math" /> <m:brkbin m:val="before" /> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--" /> <m:smallfrac m:val="off" /> <m:dispdef /> <m:lmargin m:val="0" /> <m:rmargin m:val="0" /> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup" /> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440" /> <m:intlim m:val="subsup" /> <m:narylim m:val="undovr" /> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><!

out4good3

Agreed...don't let her get comfortable with playing the victim card and accusing you of leaving her. That is standard WT projection of blame 101 designed to induce guilt and fear of seperation from God because of any decision made that conflicts with WT dogma.

Love and respect.......kill that victim complex with kindness and empathy for her feelings but I suggest you stand your ground.

It's the only way you'll avoid being a slave to the WT organization.

121

Broken Heart...

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

some of you have read what i wrote on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/200211/1/never-wake-up.

here's the final email my wife just sent me 1 minute ago:.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves /> <w:trackformatting /> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf /> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark /> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp /> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables /> <w:dontvertalignintxbx /> <w:word11kerningpairs /> <w:cachedcolbalance /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math" /> <m:brkbin m:val="before" /> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--" /> <m:smallfrac m:val="off" /> <m:dispdef /> <m:lmargin m:val="0" /> <m:rmargin m:val="0" /> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup" /> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440" /> <m:intlim m:val="subsup" /> <m:narylim m:val="undovr" /> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><!

out4good3

With respect, I don't know if I do.

As much in love as he is, I'm not sure if he should cave to the point where he implies to her that the whole mess his fault. It takes two to tango. She is just as much as fault for being so rigid in her thinking that the WT way is the only way. She says it herself that she saw this coming. Looking for common ground in a marriage goes both ways, and not just acquiescing to the JW way when they make demands under the threat of taking their ball and going home.

I agree that he should profess her love for her, the kids and of his desire to keep the family together, but not tot he point where he's emasculated himself to such a degree that it will be doubly impossible for him to take a stand opposite to hers on anything in the marriage again.

4

Headship - question for an elder, former or otherwise

by Nickolas in

i will preface this question by stating that i do not subscribe, nor ever have subscribed, to the misogynist beliefs in the bible.

women are not subordinate to men.

period.. scenario: a woman who is married decides that she wants to become a baptised jehovah's witness.

out4good3

They will reason that she is following the higher authority of their puppetmaster Jah by acting in accordance to his (the WT) will. This action is more than just OK to them, it is expected and encouraged.

121

Broken Heart...

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

some of you have read what i wrote on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/200211/1/never-wake-up.

here's the final email my wife just sent me 1 minute ago:.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves /> <w:trackformatting /> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf /> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark /> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp /> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables /> <w:dontvertalignintxbx /> <w:word11kerningpairs /> <w:cachedcolbalance /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math" /> <m:brkbin m:val="before" /> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--" /> <m:smallfrac m:val="off" /> <m:dispdef /> <m:lmargin m:val="0" /> <m:rmargin m:val="0" /> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup" /> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440" /> <m:intlim m:val="subsup" /> <m:narylim m:val="undovr" /> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><!

out4good3

At this point, I would not blame myself, but the cult.

It would be her giving it all up as I'd fight tooth and nail for as much equal time with my kid as I can get. It is her choosing them over you and playing the victim card.

All you're asking for is to seek your own spiritual path, something JWs are wholly in favour of when you are questioning every religion save their own.

121

Broken Heart...

by brotherdan in

jw
friends

some of you have read what i wrote on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/200211/1/never-wake-up.

here's the final email my wife just sent me 1 minute ago:.

[if gte mso 9]><xml> <w:worddocument> <w:view>normal</w:view> <w:zoom>0</w:zoom> <w:trackmoves /> <w:trackformatting /> <w:punctuationkerning /> <w:validateagainstschemas /> <w:saveifxmlinvalid>false</w:saveifxmlinvalid> <w:ignoremixedcontent>false</w:ignoremixedcontent> <w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext>false</w:alwaysshowplaceholdertext> <w:donotpromoteqf /> <w:lidthemeother>en-us</w:lidthemeother> <w:lidthemeasian>x-none</w:lidthemeasian> <w:lidthemecomplexscript>x-none</w:lidthemecomplexscript> <w:compatibility> <w:breakwrappedtables /> <w:snaptogridincell /> <w:wraptextwithpunct /> <w:useasianbreakrules /> <w:dontgrowautofit /> <w:splitpgbreakandparamark /> <w:dontvertaligncellwithsp /> <w:dontbreakconstrainedforcedtables /> <w:dontvertalignintxbx /> <w:word11kerningpairs /> <w:cachedcolbalance /> </w:compatibility> <w:browserlevel>microsoftinternetexplorer4</w:browserlevel> <m:mathpr> <m:mathfont m:val="cambria math" /> <m:brkbin m:val="before" /> <m:brkbinsub m:val="--" /> <m:smallfrac m:val="off" /> <m:dispdef /> <m:lmargin m:val="0" /> <m:rmargin m:val="0" /> <m:defjc m:val="centergroup" /> <m:wrapindent m:val="1440" /> <m:intlim m:val="subsup" /> <m:narylim m:val="undovr" /> </m:mathpr></w:worddocument> </xml><!

out4good3

PPppppfffttttt

I guess I am just a little cold hearted but, at this point I would call her bluff. It seems she would be more than happy for you to "fake it" to apease her, the children and the WT organization.

Might be time to pull out the "God hates a divorcing" card because she is pulling out the victim "I b persecuted" one.

Everything in her e-mails screams I...I....I....selfishness as if hers are the only feleings that matter.

61

A Warning to Elders

by Darth plaugeis in

what if the elders tracked you down and show up at your house to inform you of wrong doing and the action they will take.. what if the elders destroyed your family and now they stand before you smiling with the bible in their hand.. i know my reaction.... it would not be pretty... the police would be at my house very shortly.. do they really believe jah would protect them from those they wronged?

i am not a violent man..... but this is like rubbing your nose in the very pain they caused.. i say this because..... i sense something is in the mix.. my lawyer gave some info because of a legal matter and if i know these bastards.......... they better think twice....

out4good3

Had a couple of these goofballs in my home a couple of years ago at the invitation of my wife.

they were nice enough at first talking about a few bible topics but I knew where they were going with this. It was a tact that they'd heard at the last assembly they had attended. My wife had already tried to steer me into a conversation about it. Something about their organization being the figuratively modern day ark or some other such nonsense.

As soon as they tried to use the bible subject to chastise me about my spirituality, I shut them down cold by telling them that we could talk about the bible all they wanted but I was not going to sit there and have it used against me for what they perceived as something I was doing wrong.

I was not going to submit to their perceived religious authority and I was not going to be chastised in my home like some little kid.

They got the message and headed for the door pretty quick.

They didn't even want to say a prayer or shake my hand on the way out.

49

How do I cut off pioneering?

by bottleofwater in

i'm 19 and trying to get a job.

my dad won't pay for my college if i don't pioneer.. if i get a job, i can't pioneer while in college.. i can supposedly work and study, but i need a good way to get rid of pioneering (it was never my idea in the first place - blame the parents with their social coercion).. if i stop pioneering, i will be told by my parents that i don't love jehovah (not that i care what they say).. how can i do this as painlessly as possible?.

i want to move out someday and have enough money to do this.. by the way, if you read my started topics you will see my situation in more detail and that my dad is the coordinator of the boe..

out4good3

You want to not pioneer. Just don't go out. Don't report any time. When he cuts off the money for college, remind him of the coercive way he's treating you and ask him if this would be the kind of "service" their sock puppet god wants......service forced under threat. Ask questions to make him reveal to everyone publicly why it's really so important that you pioneer.

I'm willing to bet it is not because he feels it will save you, but, moreso that it is what is expected of his children if he's to keep that title of COBE. it is all about pretense with witnesses, how things look, not bringing reproach on Je-whore_vah or the congregation.