Broken Heart...

by brotherdan 121 Replies latest jw friends

• 

  brotherdan

  Some of you have read what I wrote on this thread: http://www.jehovahs-witness.net/jw/friends/200211/1/Never-Wake-Up

  Here's the final email my wife just sent me 1 minute ago:

  i appreciate you being honest.thanks.its sad because from this point on everything will be different. its a long time coming so I am not suprised.just sad.heart broken.numb.i dont know how you think that we can fake it to our children.we are not united anymore, we are on a separate path.it is hard enough to make a marriage work in general,but when you are on two different roads I can't fathom how that would work.

  I want to separate for awhile.i dont think it would be wise or fair for "OUR SON" to see me upset all the time.he has already gone through so much.i guess i just need to think about what I need to do.
• 

  sabastious

  I'm sorry bro.

  Never expect a good reaction from the start. Time will tell though. It's one of the hardest things to do for any human, to wake up out of a cult.

  Try to empathize with her emotions. She really is heart broken. Try to ease that pain if you can.

  My heart goes out to both of you. Yet, when it's all said and done, these are the situations that make us who we are because it tests every aspect of us.

  Please hang in there, and seek out a support system. This forum is great, but see if you can find even one person that really cares about you and wont allow the WT glasses to blur reality.

  -Sab
• 

  Ding

  Soooo sorry, Brotherdan.

  Turn to Jesus, brother, and don't do anything self-destructive.

  I am praying earnestly for you and your family.

  I suppose you have a couple options here -- either try to talk her out of it or just let her separate.

  If I were you, I don't think I would move out. She's the one who wants to separate, not you.

  You may have to decide whether to fight her over custody. It's not automatic that she would get custody although courts tend to give custody of young children to the mother. I have known some judges, though, who don't like the WTS religion (often because of the blood issue if nothing else).

  If she starts talking divorce because she considers you an unbeliever, you might point out 1 Cor. 7:13ff.
• 

  out4good3

  PPppppfffttttt

  I guess I am just a little cold hearted but, at this point I would call her bluff. It seems she would be more than happy for you to "fake it" to apease her, the children and the WT organization.

  Might be time to pull out the "God hates a divorcing" card because she is pulling out the victim "I b persecuted" one.

  Everything in her e-mails screams I...I....I....selfishness as if hers are the only feleings that matter.
• 

  cantleave

  sorry to hear it's come that Dan.
• 

  ReallyTrulyAthena

  brotherdan, I'm new to this board, but have lurked on and off for a while. I've read your posts with interest over the past few months and while I was never in your shoes (I'm DF'd/divorced BUT no kids), I'm sorry to hear this is happening and that it has come to this crucible-like situation. Waking up and breaking the chains is one thing, but with a child involved? My heart goes out to you, and to her as well. It's a loss all the way around and for all parties concerned.

  Sorry for such trite words, I wish I could come up with something better. My thoughts & prayers during this difficult time as you find your footing.

  RTA
• 

  brotherdan

  I've tried my very best to do everything right. I've asked for advice. I've sweated out a ton of meetings. I've kept my mouth shut when I wanted to scream. I've played the hypocrite. I didn't listen to my own conscience so that I could support my wife. And this is where it gets me?

  It looks like I am the one that gave it all up. It looks like SHE is the victim and I am just another selfish apostate.

  I just don't know what I could've done differently. I'm a nice guy. I don't speak unkindly to my wife, hit my kids, abuse alcohol or drugs. But I'm going to lose my family because of fucking CULT?
• 

  Darth plaugeis

  I can't see any posts in this thread is it just me? Like I'll be able to see any replies.
• 

  brotherdan

  Thanks RTA. I have a beautiful 6 month old too. I got both my kids names tatooed on my back while I was in Maui last week. :-(
• 

  out4good3

  At this point, I would not blame myself, but the cult.

  It would be her giving it all up as I'd fight tooth and nail for as much equal time with my kid as I can get. It is her choosing them over you and playing the victim card.

  All you're asking for is to seek your own spiritual path, something JWs are wholly in favour of when you are questioning every religion save their own.