G'day praying_mantis,
Thanks for telling your story. Reading through it seems you have been "co-operating" by playing their game. Perhaps your experience will help others who 'lurk' on this board to see that the elders will always have power over you if you let them. They are trained persecuters. They will not admit it but their procedures learned by them from the Borg bear all the hallmarks of a cult. Don't let them near you is my advice. If you have resolved to make a life apart from the Watchtower, then show it and do it.
It wasn't clear to me from your account as to the position of your family. Is your fiancee one who is reliable and strong to support you? I hope so.
Skimmer has said "You are now in the process of finding out which friends are real and which are just hypocrites". Be prepared to find that there won't be many. In "the truth" you may have thought you had plenty of friends. In reality, they are acquaintances. Any friendships are conditional. They are the cold hard facts.
The good news is that many thousands of exJWs have found a happy life away from the Borg.
May that be your happy experience.
Come back to the board soon.
Cgheers,
Ozzie