I was told by a JW relative that I had broken my mother's heart when I left, it was on the tip of my tongue to say to him " But my heart was broken in that she never grew up spiritually and hung on to childish beliefs " or similar. Which was true, I was really cut up that until she died she stuck with her beliefs, which included no longer having a proper relationship with me anymore. Not full on J.W shunning, but simply family business only with mum.
I didn't say it, because he was shortly about to die, I knew this would be our last conversation, and I wanted it to end on a pleasant note, we had been related and friends for over six decades.
What I am trying to say is that the responsibility for any emotional pain felt by the JW's in our close family, and pain felt by us, is ,in fact, down to THEM.