I think I did. I was really zealous and really tried my best to study, comment, attend meetings, etc. I studied on my own against what my parents wanted and the only one in my entire family to study with JW's (My family's catholic). So yeah I guess I really did mean all of it.The elder asked at the end of the questioning for baptism, why I wanted to be Jehovah's witness. The answer rolled right off of my tongue about how happy Jehovah has made me. I was always good at expressing affection in a poetic way so the elder was very impressed with my answer. But I was actually really depressed and suicidal, only tricking myself into believing the world was just bringing me down. Somehow on a whim, I started looking up the organization's history after I got baptized and cannonballed right in. I lost all faith in the organization within 3 days of researching. And I think I somehow always knew subconsciously that my depression was because of the organization.
So did I really loved Jehovah God? Maybe.
But I needed him like a women to her abusive husband.
Godsendconspirator
JoinedPosts by Godsendconspirator
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16
Looking Back, Do You Ever Think You Loved Jehovah God?
by minimus inas a child, i was made to believe that i loved my mom and family and close friends but that i loved no one more than jehovah god.
did you ever really love him?.
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Godsendconspirator
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Do you have hope for mankind?
by noontide inlet me start off by acknowledging that my current mood/thoughts reflect the fact that ive watched a few documentaries recently (blackfish, surviving progress, etc.
) and they got me thinking about the future of mankind.
mainly the question, do i hold out hope for the future of mankind?.
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Godsendconspirator
“Our youth now love luxury. They have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for their elders and love chatter in place of exercise; they no longer rise when elders enter the room; they contradict their parents, chatter before company; gobble up their food and tyrannize their teachers.” - Socrates (469-399 BC)
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Is It Just Me??
by What Now? inwe're 2 years in to our exit from the witnesses.
we're not disfellowshipped or disassociated ... just inactive.
none of our friends speak to us anymore.
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Godsendconspirator
People will believe whatever they want to believe. I've seen fathers in the congregation fed up with their children misbehaving but claim that Jehovah knows exactly how to raise children. With all that said, you're just missing out on a sense of socializing which is what the organization sells so hard. That's kinda why I started studying as well. I was suckered in with all the love bombing. I suggest you go out to concerts, events, pick up a hobby (a martial arts or dance class perhaps?) because they're great places to meet new people and develop your own circle to replace the witness one.
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Convention new book reveals "GROUP 2" of the 1914 generation...the horror.
by Witness 007 ingods kingdom rules!
the convention book released yesterday....say hi to group 2 of the 1914 generation!!
a graph shows group 1 being fred franz john barr etc...with a group 2 consisting of the current young faithful slaves we "met" the "group ones.
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Godsendconspirator
I don't know why I always have a little hope that maybe some of the brothers in my previous congregation would realize this is bullshit. Some others would definitely eat this up but for a certain few I know they have the potiential to do a quick google search.
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JW Info-Commercial Memorial Service
by William Penwell ini attended a jw memorial service about 2 years ago and the speaker i thought gave a good eulogy to the diseased even though he quoted a few scriptures.
just recently i attended another jw memorial and the sermon was about 10 minutes on the person and the rest a big info-commercial with a scripture quoted one after the other.
i did not keep count but i would think the speaker read about 10 - 12 scriptures.
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Godsendconspirator
The first funeral I went to when I was studying was for the mother of an elder. The elder choking back tears, kept reading off scriptures. It was one thing I was never able to internalize as a witness. Why is a man preaching when he should be mourning?
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Why I Refuse to Accept the term APOSTATE
by Black Man inbeen going back in forth with my mom (who is a longtime pioneer and dyed-in-the-wool jw) about the term apostate.
she has labeled me one because of my fading and because i stopped attending meetings a few years ago.
i told her that i refuse to accept the term apostate because its a lazy way for the wts to not deal with dissenters and address why people are leaving this organization in droves.
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Godsendconspirator
I love being called an apostate. I can go up to any JW and say an I'm an apostate and they'll quickly go away. They labled you. You might as well have fun with the power they gave you.
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The more people who leave the Witnesses, the more people will leave. True?
by ThomasCovenant inif more faders stopped fading and just stopped,.
would more of the many closet unbelieving attendees just stop too, creating a momentum?.
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Godsendconspirator
When I went to audio engineering school they gave us a quote: "If you can sell records, you can sell more records."
I'd like to think the same for other situations as well: "If you can help 1 witness leave, you can help more witnesses leave."
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I think I've finally been disfellowshipped
by Godsendconspirator init wasn't my preferred method of leaving but at least i'm as far as i can be from this cult.
over 2 years ago i've tried to fade out but i guess i did it too drastically.
i live in nyc so the entire territory is walkable and everybody in the congregation live pretty close by.
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Godsendconspirator
I don't regret smoking because at the very least, it was something I chose to do. Newyork44M, I live in the bronx underneath the 1 train.
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I think I've finally been disfellowshipped
by Godsendconspirator init wasn't my preferred method of leaving but at least i'm as far as i can be from this cult.
over 2 years ago i've tried to fade out but i guess i did it too drastically.
i live in nyc so the entire territory is walkable and everybody in the congregation live pretty close by.
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Godsendconspirator
Just kidding, I started smoking when I started doubting the organization in order to try new things that I normally wouldn't. Now it's just a habit.
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I think I've finally been disfellowshipped
by Godsendconspirator init wasn't my preferred method of leaving but at least i'm as far as i can be from this cult.
over 2 years ago i've tried to fade out but i guess i did it too drastically.
i live in nyc so the entire territory is walkable and everybody in the congregation live pretty close by.
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Godsendconspirator
It wasn't my preferred method of leaving but at least I'm as far as I can be from this cult. Over 2 years ago I've tried to fade out but I guess I did it too drastically. I live in NYC so the entire territory is walkable and everybody in the congregation live pretty close by. I wanted to keep ties with the people in the congregation but so far I've seen how much of their love is conditional and it annoyed/anger me so much I'm glad I don't talk to them anymore. Luckily I don't have any family in this religion. Every time I walk down the streets I see one of the brothers or sisters and I get interrupted when I eat in a diner, take the train or come home from work.
About a month ago, an elder and the CO came to my door (uninvited of course). The CO showed me a verse in the bible showing reasons why one might leave the congregation and asked me if I saw any one of those reasons in me. I said "I don't see myself in any of these examples", which I guess surprised them because they weren't able to respond. I assume they thought of the conversation going a different way.
Since then, nobody has stopped me in the streets. They pretend I'm not there and it feels so good! I can take walks around my neighborhood again peacefully. The other day I was smoking a cigarette and walking home and I passed by a sister but she said nothing. She just looked down and kept walking.
I'n so relieved! Now it's like I was never in this cult! I always did hate it whenever somebody said "Hey we missed you.". I would respond "You have my number. Let's hang out." Never got a call and now hopefully never will