Posts by pettygrudger

it is just a matter of time before they hurt you more than you love them. It was hard, but as soon as I moved on my life became much better. I have been working toward building a new "family"... one that does not shun me because I will not bend to their demands that I worship their god. How ironic that they fight so hard for "freedom of religion" but then deny me the very right.

EXACTLY!!!!! I had also developed my own family, made up of a close circle of friends that became much more of a "family" to me than my blood relatives ever were, even in JWism. I no longer believe in the addage of "blood being thicker than water", because its simply not true.

41

Reverse Shunning

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

my mom calls every few months to "hear my voice".

whenever this happens i am very sad and very angry all mixed together.

i am torn.

pettygrudger

Well, as far as it comes to our children, Tim & I have "willed" them to their "god-parents" should something happen to us.

One day at a time Bridget, and when you're feeling ready to talk, call her.

41

Reverse Shunning

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

my mom calls every few months to "hear my voice".

whenever this happens i am very sad and very angry all mixed together.

i am torn.

pettygrudger

Have to agree w/Nina's sentiments on the emotional ping pong thing - especially w/the grandchildren. In the beginning, I don't know how many tearful sleepless nights I had after having listened to my mother tell me how I was killing myself, and my beautiful son at armaggedon with my choice of not returning. Any emotional warfare seems fair game w/that religion - and they'll stop at nothing emotionally to "save" someone they love.

41

Reverse Shunning

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

my mom calls every few months to "hear my voice".

whenever this happens i am very sad and very angry all mixed together.

i am torn.

pettygrudger

I'm sorry, but I think there's a big difference between being a loving child & an emotional doormat......so that's why I say on MY terms - not on her emotional neediness.

41

Reverse Shunning

by StinkyPantz in

jw
friends

my mom calls every few months to "hear my voice".

whenever this happens i am very sad and very angry all mixed together.

i am torn.

pettygrudger

Well, with 18+ years of mom shun experience, I suggest just going w/the flow. If you feel like "catching up" on family gossip, do so. If you don't - don't. By all means, screen the calls & only deal w/the ones you feel like handling. It took me a long time to learn this, and sometimes it still "stings", but honestly it no longer hurts. And sometimes I just don't feel like allowing herself the luxury of "hearing my voice" when she could have been listening all along.

50

How do we stop feeling like exjws?

by Brummie in

i dont know.

today i had an episode of dissociation, the feeling of being totally disconnected from everything and everyone.

as if all of a sudden i knew no one or wasnt connected to anyone.

pettygrudger

(((Brummie)))

I don't think this is as much of an ex-JW thing as it is a human thing. Many people I know have gone through episodes of feeling "disconnected, alienated, perhaps even frightened & alone". All of the sudden not knowing the answers, not knowing where you "fit in" and what your future means. This is human.

Our past is what our past is, and its part of who we are. Its part of what made you as wonderful as you are. Embrace it, accept it, and love yourself regardless (or because of).

Love ya

Rhonda

20

the elders came

by the mole in

my friend and my sister has betrayed me in my confidence to ask them on issues i have with the org.

i admitted that i dont think what the org is telling is all truth.

so the elders came and whipped me but i would not bow down to them, my freedom is at stake and i will not be a robot.

pettygrudger

So, how did it go???????

13

MY Wal-Mart Experience Today.

by Yerusalyim in

well, there i was out in front of wal-mart today.

i'm wearing my yellow smock that says "helping the mentally disabled" and "knights of columbus" yep, it's the beginning of that time of year...the time when we pass out tootsie rolls and accept donations giving the money to the mentally hanidcapped.. anyhow, the way our group does it...we offer the tootsie roll to anyone that wants one...even if they don't choose to make a donation.... you wouldn't believe how many people just could not believe that we would actually just give them a tootsie roll without them giving us a donation...one guy just walked away and says "there's gotta be a catch" it took me three minutes to explain to this one woman that regardless of whether or not she gave a donation i would still give her a tootsie roll, even if she told me in advance that she wasn't going to give me a donation.

i guess people really aren't used to getting something for nothing.. sure, it's my hope that after giving them a tootsie roll they'll give a donation...but the other motive is just to get them the tootsie roll that also has the "knights of columbus" name on the wrapper (specially printed for the knights).

pettygrudger

Works for the JW's doesn't it? The one gentlemen answered your question - there's always a catch.

BTW - can I just take this opportunity to thank you for being a part of the Knights of Columbus and for all the wonderful things that organizations does!!! (and for changing the sign on their smocks too btw ). They are a wonderful organization, and my respect & admiration for you has gone up 150% for doing such wonderful volunteer work.