ruderedhead

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Posts by ruderedhead

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  9

  the level of disapointment

  by lastchance in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  as i look at the members in my area, i see alot of fustration and disapointment.

  those who still beleive 100%, are sending there kids off to college( to live on campus),there is no rush to send there kids off to bethel and others are just going through the motions just so they wont be questioned.

  in the last 7 years i've been in 2 congregations, in 2 different states, and the level of tension and in fighting in both, has made the isreali/ palistani conflict look mild.

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  ruderedhead

  I've been out for a while, but still know of quite a few who went to college or sent their kids. Off hand, I know of 6 who sent their kids to college, myself included, and 4 who went as adults(myself included). One even went so far as to get her Masters!

  I think too many have struggled and perhaps realized that the men in New York know nothing of having to live in the real world. I know that is what I started thinking as I would sit and listen to the talks telling me what I should and shouldn't do. So I started doing what made sense. I have to live in the real world.
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  41

  hello I recently got away from the so called "truth" looking for people to talk to

  by LuLu4YouYou in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hello my name is louis.

  i have seperated myself from the jws and am looking for people to talk to.

  i dont have many people in my life who will even speak to me anymore or even acknowledge that i exist.

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  ruderedhead

  Hello and welcome! There are lots of friendly people here. They will laugh with you, cry with you, advise you when you ask and send hugs your way when you you need one!

  Have you looked for an ex-jw group in the area where you live?
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  20

  Can someone please explain why I'm NOT DF'd yet???

  by Calebs Airplane in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  i have been sending one "apostate" email after another to an elder in my congo (who frequently does circuit and district convention parts) and i'm still not df'd.... i've even sent him a free pdf copy of "crisis of conscience" twice in the last 3 months (sorry cynthia franz), as well as emails about the whole spectrum of bullshit (607, 144k, 1935, blood, proof of lies, false predictions, etc...).

  he vary rarely responds but i know he's reading them because he said so in a recent google chat.... he even acknowledged that the wt got 607 wrong but then says that i should look at the positives and stop finding fault.... but still... i sent some really strong gb-bashing emails and i'n not df'd.... i mean seriously, i've pushed the envelope as far as i possibly can.. what the hell is going on???

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  ruderedhead

  May I ask why you don't just DA yourself? Seems like you're going to an awful lot of trouble to get DF'D, although it sounds as though your trouble may lead to someone else awakening, making it all worth it.
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  49

  More excrement in the fan

  by outsmartthesystem in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  well.....i am now officially on the precipice of divorce.

  it started last tuesday night.

  my wife brings the kids home at 10:00 pm after the meeting....then dinner....then ice cream.

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  ruderedhead

  Outsmart, I'm so sorry for your pain. Your wife is obviously totally brainwashed, but that does not excuse telling your own children you are Satan's friend! That is beyond disgusting and vile! How dare she? You are not a sperm donor, you are their FATHER!! And you need to stop the indoctrination as best as you can. A 3 y.o. should not be quoting a jw video. Please follow others advice and record your kids. An attorney would be the best one to tell you how to go about this. This may sound strange, but you may want to take cues from how Katie Holmes divorced Tom Cruise. Seems as though she moved stealth like, did her homework, had great legal advice, and made sure she had all her ducks in a row first.

  So glad you are getting help for your depression. You should be feeling more like your old self in a bit. Just please don't share too much with your wife. It's none of her business.

  It sounds as though some of the activities you enjoyed are ones your children may enjoy doing with you, biking, maybe hiking instead of running, perhaps soccer or throwing baseballs? I can imagine that if you talk to them about God, if you have beliefs, share with them. Let them know you are NOT satan's friend! You can let them see that Daddy is not what Mom is making him out to be without saying anything negative about her.

  If you decide that the marriage is not salvagable, please go for 50% custody, so you can prevent total indoctrination.

  I wish you all the best.
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  11

  Do these people realize the effect shunning has on the outsiders?

  by jam in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  this past week my sister called and ask if i knew my oldest.

  daughter was in town.

  she lives in a different state (1500 miles).. my sister was invited to a baby shower (my nephew baby).. now get this, my ex (jw) and her husband when they are in town.

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  ruderedhead

  Jam, I am so very sorry for the pain this must cause you. When people hear about this type of behavior, it makes the witnesses look mean and spiteful, not to mention cult-like. It seems there are some who take a hard line approach with the shunning, and some who are a bit softer when it comes to family. Hard liners are certainly NOT following Christ's example. All the best to you.
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  36

  My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

  by crystlew123 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is crystle.

  ( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

  i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

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  ruderedhead

  Crystle, you absolutely should NOT be embarrassed to seek help for something horrible that happened to you in the past. It was NEVER DEALT WITH. If your medical card allows for psychological health care, please avail yourself of it! You and your child deserve the healthiest life possible!

  I hope you find a job soon. Sounds like you are doing all you can to make that happen. Al the best.

  rudered
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  8

  Have you ever put HBH on house to house record?

  by Iamallcool in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hbh=home but hiding.

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  ruderedhead

  I did!

  The woman who studied with me was so bold that if she was certain they were hbh, she would actually go to the back door, and then, if they had one, would go onto their deck and knock on their doorwall! When I was studying with her, if she came by & I didn't answer the door, she would open my back gate(which was a PRIVACY FENCE WITH A PRIVACY GATE!), to see if I was there! She said she had to make sure she left no stone unturned in her service to Jehovah. No hiding from that one!

  She has since been married & divorced 3 times, with one disfellowshipping thrown in! Still active, tho.
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  36

  My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

  by crystlew123 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is crystle.

  ( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

  i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

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  ruderedhead

  May I ask one thing, Crystle? Have you ever received help for the trauma you endured as a child? If not, I hope you will consider it now. Sounds like it was swept under the rug, and you were never give an opportunity to deal with it. And that is horrible! I don't know how those people live with themselves when they allow monsters to walk freely among those they claim to care about! All the best to you!
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  36

  My story. not that interesting but, I want to tell it.

  by crystlew123 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi my name is crystle.

  ( i dont care if my congregation finds out what i am posting.

  i havent been "in" for ten years and i have already told severl members what i think and where they can shove it...:/) i am 27 years old, and a single mother of a wonderful 6 year old.

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  ruderedhead

  Welcome, Crystle! Sounds like you have had a rough ride so far. But it also sounds like you are a strong young woman.

  Have you gone to college? Even a Community College? The job market is pretty bleak in most areas, but having an education past High School can make you more marketable. That would assist you in getting a better paying job, so you would have a better chance of moving out of your parents home sooner. Community college (I think some epople call them junior colleges?) has much lower tuition than 4 year universities, so they are a good place to start. If you are an unemployed, or underemployed single Mom, there may even be some financial assistance available to you.

  It sounds like you have loving parents who are willing to help you, so please think about how you can become more independent, or your son runs the risk becoming indoctrinated. I know it will be hard and probably stressful, but worth it in the long run! I wish you all the best!
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  35

  I'm a stepmom to a little JW.... need advice...

  by LKM in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i am a new stepmom to an 8 year old boy whose mother is a jw pioneer.

  my husband has been disfellowshipped for 2.5 years now.

  i was part of the reason he left the organization for good, although he had stopped believing long before being kicked out.

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  ruderedhead

  LKM, you and your husband are your stepson's only hope for a semi normal childhood, never mind how messed up his brain could be as an adult if everything is his jw Mom's way. I know you do not want him to sit outside during birthdays, class parties, etc., feeling like an outcast. And never mind High School, which can be brutal as kids try to find their niche anyway!

  When he is with you, your rules should apply. As long as you do not speak negatively of his Mom and her beliefs, she needs to respect this. You don't tell her he can't go out in service, to the KH or participate in anything related to the witnesses, do you? Fair is fair. The problem you could have is if you were to sign him up for team sports, if she has him during a scheduled game/practice, she obviously would not co-operate in getting him there, or letting you take him.

  Please keep this precious child busy exploring what his interests are, what he is good at. Sports, music, art, theater? Hopefully you and your husband are doing thorough research so you can refute wt things his Mom is indoctrinating him with, especially when he says he can't do something because it would make Jehovah sad, or Jehovah does not like it. Nobody wants to make God mad, so you need to be able to disprove his belief. I believe that if you both stay calm, loving and positive, he will want to spend more time with you, especially if you do not speak negatively of his Mom, so he does not go into protect mode.

  Do you get report cards and newsletters from the school so you are aware of the activities that are going on that Mom may not want him to be involved in? School is such a large part of a child's life, they need to feel like they fit in.

  I hope you can all work this out amicably, for the little guy's sake. All the best to you and your husband.