New Fundie Bumpersticker coming your way: "My God can kick you kid's ass!"
Preston
JoinedPosts by Preston
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25
Does god love children?
by kelsey007 inmany people claim that the god of the bible loves children and fetuses.
but what does the bible say?
according to god's law, children are not persons but the property of their fathers, who may sell them as slaves.
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25
What the hell was I thinking?
by joannadandy inhave any of you ever had a moment your life you replay in your mind?
over and over, and thwack your head against the wall saying "what the hell was i thinking?
" or going along just fine, and then have something remind you of the time you were a total loser--and you blush uncontrollably (for no reason at all the outside world seems to think) and rush for the nearest brick wall to commence with the "what the hell was i thinking" battery?
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Preston
joanna, sweetie, it takes a real man to have the curtousy to say, "I'm flattered but, I'm attached to someone right now, maybe in the future.." Unfortunately, "I'm married" isn't the type of thing one says in a situation like this so don't feel embarassed. Men have to appreciate the dificulty of asking someone out becuase IMNSHO it's more difficult for a guy. I'm not much into a man without charm, married or not . In my book, asking somone out requires testicles. If he wasn't impressed by the cajones you displayed then pity for the wife becuase she's got a hell of a cold fish on her hands... I just think it's a shame you couldn't change your subject line from "What the hell was I thinking?" to "DAMN, I've got BALLS THIS BIG"
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22
Losing their best--Getting rid of good elders
by VeniceIT inin january of this year, a prominent elder resigned because he was criticized for continuing to talk to an inactive couple, who had been very close friends.
this couple are being gossiped about, as being apostates, although no action has been taken, and no announcement.
he didn't like the scrutiny on himself and his wife, and thought they were wrong to talk to him about this issue, so he resigned.
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Preston
I'm not too quick to put on my cheerleader outfit and yell out "Rah, Rah, Rah!" One of the illustrations our elder body loved to incorporate in their talks was the one about sticking your finger in a bucket of water. You are the finger in the illustration, and you may move about at your wish, but once you leave the water the space is filled. Humilty has a strange place in the congregation. As a former M.S., I never thought of my work as important, so why would anyone care about losing their so called "best and brightest"
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57
A Silent Ram
by DakotaRed inthis is probably going to be the most difficult thing i have ever written.
but, since i dont plan on being around [here] much longer, what the hell?
for some time now, we have discussed and expressed our outrage and horror at child molestation.
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Preston
I'm shocked Dakota, I had no idea.
Shattering...
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31
What's the worst thing you did at the KH?
by glitter in.
i went to the 1999 memorial with no underwear on!.
so what's the worst thing everyone's done on borg property?
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Preston
When a brother conducting a meeting asked me to read a scripture, I did it from the King James Version of the Bible. I was counseled on the spot in front of everyone in attendance. What an asshole!!!
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36
Life sucks
by joannadandy inall right- all those out there who own pets, or have owned pets will hopefully see my point of view and understand.
the rest of you can point and laugh at my weakness.... my cat is dying.
she is 119 in people years, i guess it's to be expected that she go sometime, but still it sucks!
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Preston
I'm sad, very sad. It hurts me when I read about things like this.
((Tears))
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56
What song best describes you?
by mamashel inmy family was playing around the other day, humming different songs from tv shows and getting the other one to guess what show it was.
then we asked what song best describes you.. my family agreed, mine would be ghetto girl, by little bow wow.
lol.
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Preston
[:I ] (supposed to be blushing) at joanna
Edited by - Preston on 16 September 2002 16:29:25
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56
What song best describes you?
by mamashel inmy family was playing around the other day, humming different songs from tv shows and getting the other one to guess what show it was.
then we asked what song best describes you.. my family agreed, mine would be ghetto girl, by little bow wow.
lol.
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Preston
Liz Phair. Hell yeah! Although, you probably had "supernova" in mind also. ("and you fuck like a volcano").
I'll do a turn and say that "whip smart" by Liz Phair more describes me because 1.) that's what I am and 2.) I'm not as horny as joanna right now You have to hear the song, it's better than just reading the lyrics...
"Whip Smart" by Liz Phair
I'm gonna tell my son to grow up pretty as the grass is green
And whip smart as the English Channel's wide
And I'm gonna tell my son to keep his money in his mattress
And his watch on any hand between his thighs
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower till I write my whole life's story On the back of his big brown eyes
When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing
When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing
I'm gonna tell my son to join a circus so that death is cheap
And games are just another way of life
And I'm gonna tell my son to be a prophet of mistakes
Because for every truth there are half a million lies
And I'm gonna lock my son up in a tower till he learns to let his hair down
Far enough to climb outside
When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing
When they do the double dutch, that's them dancing -
32
WOW!!! I scored BIG at the Donut Shop!
by LDH inwell i took the little crumb-snatcher for a ride in the stroller this morning.
usually i meander over by the college with all of its big, shady trees.. well, satan himself musta been with me this morning cause i got a hankering for a donut!
i eat maybe 4 donuts a year, not my thing..... anyhow, i decide to turn for the donut shop where i choose my sin, an eclair covered in chocolate..... i turn to look at the little stack of reading material and what do i see?.
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Preston
I've got an idea LDH,
At the end of every month, write a letter to the Field Servant at the nearest Kingdom Hall with a tally of all the magaizes you have thrown out that were placed at the donut shop. Then, they can make a move toward accurately making an acounting for all the magazines that were REALLY placed, rather than thrown out as said donut shop!
P.S. - Once in a while I get a hankerin' for a donut me-self, hmmmm, hmmmm. Many praises to LDH of the "Later Donunt Hostesses" class
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19
THE LAST DOOR
by TR indo you remember your "last door"?.
it suddenly occured to me today that i had never thought about the last door that i knocked on out in field service.
honestly, i don't remember it.
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Preston
It's funny TR, I don't remember my last door either.
I stopped field service about 2 years ago, not as a
deliberate measure, but it just didn't feel right anymore.
You just outgrow certain things, and when I decided to leave,
field service was the first thing to go (contrary to what
elders say, prayer isn't the first thing to
disappear once a person becomes innactive).
With that, I humbly apologize to all of the people I once
harrassed by knocking continuously at their doors, calling them
up incessantly, and showing up unanounced on weekends....
Of course I referring to all my former boyfriends!
LOL, j/k, naughty boy!!! (slaps behind)