Posts by acsot

14

How bad is the Society hurting?

by dmouse in

jw
friends

it seems clear that the gb are hurting.

recent media attacks over pedophilia, combined with revelations of hypocrisy over the un and even personal accusations against members of the gb themselves has meant that those at the top of the ivory tower are feeling more vulnerable than ever before.

the law is increasingly being used to bring these monsters to book.. .

acsot

About the flame wars: when I first ventured onto this site (and others) what I noticed first of all was: honest emotion, exchange of ideas, Biblical debate, evolution-vs-creation debate, 607-vs.537 debate, gut-wrenching stories of abuse/abandonment/indifference/shunning/suicide, jokes, recipes(!), you get the idea.

Then I happened upon a few flame wars and my thought was: "wow, they're "allowed" to do that here". You see, free speech is precious, and even if it means wading through some garbage to find the treasure, it's worth it.

Whatever flame wars were around didn't turn me off. The WTS did a much better job of turning me off.

7

Brothers Needed

by JH in

jw
friends

.

when going door to door, does the organization rather recruit males than females?edited by - jh on 29 january 2003 6:41:29.

acsot

If they really preferred recruiting men, then brothers would go out in the ministry in the evenings when people are most likely to be home and men are most likely to answer the door.
The elders would cultivate the interest of unbelieving spouses instead of viewing them as a demonized impediment to the wife and children.

Blondie: well said! In the congregations I've been attending in the past few years, hardly any brothers went door to door in the evenings. If at they went out at all, they often went on Bible studies their wives had begun.

There is rarely any socializing with unbelieving spouses, even when they are agreeable to their wives' participation in JW life. Great way to encourage non-believers and demonstrate "true Christian love" !

16

Subconsciously breaking the bonds?

by acsot in

i wonder if any of you who are now da or just faded have consciously or subconsciously done what i seem to be doing lately.

that is, cutting ties with people.

i don't mean cutting ties with people who are obviously abusers, etc.

acsot

I can't remember where I read this, but it was something to do with psychic vampires and leaching relationships...it said that you can test the 'friend' by introducing ONE crisis in your life(real or imaginary does not matter) and if they are indeed a leach they will introduce THREE things to your ONE that makes their life harder than yours. I can't tell you how many times I have tried that and gotten my answer!
One sister would only call me when her life was falling apart and then she would call me ten times aday and never take any advice that she asked for, and finally when whatever it was blew over I would not hear from her until the next chaotic episode. So one day I called her. I had not heard from her in a couple of months, and I told her my mother died(not true--but she had no way to disprove it) and wouldn't you know it!

Ravyn: That is great advice - I remember when I was coming to terms with my father's alcoholism, I would mention it to a few people and what I got in return (all except for one person) was a litany of the other people's problems. So great to have "friends sticking closer than brothers" .

I find it hard to get out of my "playing nice" mode and having people dump on me. Discovering proper boundaries and sticking firm to them is hard to learn, for me at least.

Just like that sister who would call you only when her life was falling apart, that's what was happening with my long-time "friend". It's nice (but scary) to get free.

SPAZnik: Thanks! I've read about the phases of change before, and it's good to have it here and ponder over it.

Ahh, I love this place! Have a great day all!

16

Subconsciously breaking the bonds?

by acsot in

i wonder if any of you who are now da or just faded have consciously or subconsciously done what i seem to be doing lately.

that is, cutting ties with people.

i don't mean cutting ties with people who are obviously abusers, etc.

acsot

Ravyn:

Friendship is not these imposed 'loving' relationships where you are expected to be the good guy and listen to all the pitiful crap someone else spews out to vindicate their own compulsions or make them selves feel better by having an audience to their warped opinions.

That's exactly how it was with this "friend". I was her sounding board for 25 years (ugh, what a waste of time). Then the one time I told her "enough is enough, back off", the claws came out and I saw her real personality. So, am I sorry I did what I did in the way I did it? No. Maybe in a year (or 10) I'll feel differently, but knowing what she's like and finally realizing how I was "used" doesn't make me regret my action.

I think JWs have such a shallow life, intellectually and emotionally, that all they have to talk about is gossiping about others or trying to gain sympathy from overblown problems - the two people I mention above always had some sort of crisis going on - weird, undefined health problems (nobody at work has anything like the bizarre things JWs have), upsets with others, family problems - it just never ended. And I was the recipient of all their angst.

It's like co-dependency, and I was probably feeding into it, the enabler.

It's good to start freeing myself.

21

Comments You Will Not Hear at the 1-26-03 WT Study

by blondie in

comments you will not hear at the 1-26-03 wt study

december 15, 2002 page 8.

"draw close to god".

acsot

Ah, just as I feared - I missed the weekly WT study. A request from the office to work overtime, so what with my terrible deeds of Friday evening (a Robbie Burns (the Scottish poet) night with some people from work, at a Masonic Lodge () and raising our glasses of alcoholic beverages in toasts to everyone and everything imaginable - gotta love those Scots!), and combined with my missing today's meeting, I must be definitely headed for that fictitious big A that's just around some corner.

Not only do the JW's close ranks amongst themselves, this sickness infects within. New members that transfer from another congregation are treated as strangers. Weak brothers are ignored by spiritually strong brothers. The women are ignored completely. If we follow it to the top, Mr. Jarasz must spend all his time talking to himself.

jgnat: I appreciate your comments also. Existentialism interests me also.

Have to go - the boss just arrived. I'm so materialistic .

16

Subconsciously breaking the bonds?

by acsot in

i wonder if any of you who are now da or just faded have consciously or subconsciously done what i seem to be doing lately.

that is, cutting ties with people.

i don't mean cutting ties with people who are obviously abusers, etc.

acsot

DanTheMan: I've added that book to my "to read" list; yes, I do feel as though I am becoming "me" now that I am fading from JW land and getting out more with others. Last week I went to a Robbie Burns (the Scottish poet) night with some people from work.

I laughed to myself when I thought of the JWs at the hall, sort of a "if they could see me now" scenario in my mind's eye - associating with worldly people (gasp!), at a Masonic Lodge () and raising our glasses of alcoholic beverages in toasts to everyone and everything imaginable (gotta love those Scots) I was certainly doing my utmost to leave JW land behind. And felt wonderful. It's good to get to know myself.

43

Are pets important in your life?

by JH in

jw
friends

i always loved little animals, and i always will have one.

i noticed that most families do have pets.

for people living alone, a pet is a good companion.

acsot

Like all of you, I love animals. Always had dogs growing up, now have two cats. And yes, I know who rules the house, and it sure ain't me! I would love to get a dog also, but don't know if the cats will allow it.

It is so very difficult when a pet dies - one of my cats became very ill a few years ago and I thought I might have to put her to sleep - walking out of the vet's office I burst into tears and walked home, crying all the way. Fortunately she got better but I can't imagine how awful I'll feel when she dies, hopefully at a ripe old age.

You can check out this web site: http://www.catoftheday.com

It's got dogs and other pets as well as cats, different ones each day.

36

I Am So Sad

by Windchaser in

jw
friends

january 26 is a particularly hard day for me.

two of my children were born on this day, five years apart.

i can't wish either one of them a happy birthday.

acsot

(((((((((((((((((Windchaser)))))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry for your pain. I'm a dub (extricating myself slowly), and at 46 years old, I know much of my life was spent in useless activity, but my mother became a Witness because she firmly believed it and thought she was doing the right thing for her family. Parents try and do what they think is best for their kids, and of course make mistakes, as we all do. I know that as an adult now I have to take responsibility for my life and do what I now believe to be best for me. Maybe your daughter will come around and realize what she's missing out on.

170

MAJOR TV SHOW TO DISCUSS JW CHILD ABUSE

by Scully in

major canadian tv show to discuss jw child

abuse scandal

this is to alert the jw world that a major tv documentary is set to go in canada on the jw child sex abuse issue.

acsot

Got the VCR working!!

Saw the promo last night - great stuff. Already my mother is questioning the organization - a JW since the 60s!

Till next week!!

16

Rain of Fire

by Defender in

jw
friends

watch how us forces aboard ac130 gunship night raid in afghanistan targeted fleeing unarmed "personnel".

watch the rain of fire as little bright running objects were targeted and killed one by one.

watch how they were finished off, if after being hit, they were still "moving".

acsot

On a French-language T.V. show here last year someone somehow managed to get to one of the outdoor arenas in Afghanistan where the Taliban held public executions. I actually think the reporter was posing as someone sympathetic to the Taliban but only to be allowed into this area and record what was happening. The person had a tiny hidden camera and showed the "condemned" being driven into the arena on the backs of pickup trucks. Some were women, one was accused of appearing in public with a man other than her husband. Not adultery mind you, just walking down the street with someone other than her husband.

On the other side of the arena men were being herded to their execution spots. The women fared a bit better () in that they were killed instantly by a bullet in the head. The men had ropes tied around their necks then hauled up a pulley until they died by strangulation.

I don't know how that reporter managed not to vomit his guts out when witnessing it, but I'm glad he was able to sneak it out of Afghanistan and show it to the world.

I had nightmares for days. Scum like the Taliban don't deserve to live.