I can relate to each of you. I think one of the main reasons we flock to this board is for solace.. and when we relay our own personal stories we discover that despite differences in locale, culture, or language.. we have the same struggle.
JW love is conditional. It directly correlates to the number of hours in field service, meeting attendance, and willingness to submit to all ideas without questioning their biblical relevance or accuracy.
I was raised in the organization, and attended the same congregation for 18 years.
As long as I was a minor and did as I was told without questioning it, all was well. As soon as I got older and began to question accuracy, ideals.. and the elders right to determine the length of my sideburns (no joke).. its almost humorous how they quickly cooled off in having any affiliation with me.
You are taught to follow blindly the organization, and not question it even if it is obvious to any analytical mind that serious problems are apparent. My grandfather died in 1999... wanna guess how many Witnesses I GREW UP with over an 18 yr period wanted to spend time with me or even call to see how Im doing? (I live about 5 blocks from the Kingdom Hall by the way)
NONE.
The only attention I received was the Elders coming by UNANNOUNCED (very rude if you ask me) to subtly chastise me and read me Scriptures about how I need to get on the ball.
My philosophy now? FUCK EM.
Life is too short, you dont need the hassle in your life. Its hard to make friends among worldly people when you were conditioned to avoid them in your developmental stages of childhood and adolescence. Dont trust anybody, rely on yourself.. and in due time youll find yourself much happier and relieved to be free.
The true Kingdom of God is located in your heart, not an organization of hypocrites.
www.geocities.com/latinloverchicago/Jason1.html for my new webpage and info!! Im trying to live now!!