FayeDunaway

Joined

• started 5 topics
• posted 2,066 times   see topics posted on
• send a message

Posts by FayeDunaway

• 
  20

  How many of us are 'perfectionists'?

  by FayeDunaway in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i made a medium level mistake at work today, and when i make mistakes it really shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover.

  it completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself.

  my mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how i could have let it happen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Thank you all for your thoughts!! I'm not the only one!!

  I need to learn to brush off my mistakes, and say 'oh well. I'll do better next time' instead of let them eat at me. I'm not perfect, I will never be perfect in this life. I will do stupid stuff.

  I feel better already, just saying that.

  Ironically yes Xanthippe, when other people make mistakes or admit their lives aren't perfect I actually like them a whole lot better. This one lady I didn't like much, one day she told me her marriage needed a lot of work. Bam! I thought she was great. Yes, she became human. Why don't I have the same standards for myself?? I think being raised witness and trying to look perfect and be perfect all the time, and it's a works based 'faith.' There's a great shame in falling short of any of that. And yes im sure some of it might be genetic or neurological or just personality. But the judgmental culture was SO strong for us.

  I think just being aware of this, and talking about it, will make our guilt and shame at our shortcomings, and failures at doing things perfectly, easier to deal with. John and mike im glad you're moving on from yours.

  Thanks everyone!
• 
  7

  Watchtowers Fruit Loops

  by Watchtower-Free in

  1. social
  2. humour

  .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Both loopy AND fruity!
• 
  27

  How to deal with anxiety?

  by BlackWolf in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  lately my mental health has been rapidly declining.

  i have anorexia and deppression, and my anxiety has become overwhelming.

  i have been to many doctors/therapists in the past, but because i have not been magically cured my parents dont want to get me any more help.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Your anxiety IS real. Mad Irishman doesn't realize, apparently, what being a homeschooled non believing witness 16 year old can feel like, how trapped and lonely you must feel!! (Tho I do like his advice to do physical activity, and pursuing hobbies and things you love are never a bad idea). You say you have tried therapy but it hasn't helped. Have you talked to a therapist about your feelings about your parents religion? It would be very good to be able to express to a real person how you feel about this. If that isn't enough to help you pass the time and feel healthier, maybe a big change of situation would help. How would you feel about going to public school? Would you know anyone at all, how long have you been homeschooled? You CAN talk to the councillor at school even if you are homeschooled. You are still a 16 year old living within their boundaries and they should help you. Have you looked into getting a part time job, learning to drive? You need to be an advocate for yourself to get out of this situation you are in. I know it's hard but you need to take action, it doesn't sound like your parents know what is best for you right now.
• 
  20

  How many of us are 'perfectionists'?

  by FayeDunaway in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i made a medium level mistake at work today, and when i make mistakes it really shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover.

  it completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself.

  my mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how i could have let it happen.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  I made a medium level mistake at work today, and when I make mistakes it REALLY shakes me up and takes me a long time to recover. It completely rattles me, makes me feel awful about myself. My mind keeps going back to the mistake reliving how I could have let it happen. I tend to remember my mistakes for many years down the line. I try to do anything to avoid confrontation, try to give great service and especially, make everyone happy. It occurred to me that maybe this is a shared feeling from growing up witness, where making an error brings you to judgment and condemnation. Do you try to be perfect all the time?? How do you react if you do make an error? If you were once like this but have gotten over it, how have you gotten over it? I appreciate any thoughts and advice!
• 
  101

  My mom passed away yesterday....

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  thank you all for your sincere encouragement during these last few weeks.

  finally, she is at peace.

  i was with her , holding her hand when she died.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Remember the feel of her hand inside yours, and keep it with you as long as you live. Remember that you were there for her. You didn't leave her and she didn't leave you, despite religious differences. She was a good mother and you were a good son.
• 
  56

  If Jehovah's Witnesses were a cereal, what would they be?

  by Zoos in

  1. social
  2. humour

  cult flakes?.

  .

  (welcome to the height of intellectual thread topics.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Honey Bunches of Gloats

  'Fortunate' Charms
• 
  20

  And now for something really controversial !

  by jhine in

  1. social
  2. entertainment

  ok , the new james bond theme .

  is it really a bond theme ?

  i'm not sure , no mention of the film title , no nod to bond at all .

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Daniel Craig definitely doesn't do it for me, I don't know, something about his face.

  how about Ewan McGregor???
• 
  25

  My thoughts on the last WT study. Keep in Expectation

  by StarTrekAngel in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  so i sat thru another brain mushing session for the sake of family.

  it is no myth by now that the more time you spend awake the harder it is the accept that people just take all of this in without asking.

  a computer has more reasoning abilities than your average jw at this point.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  Really good points, STA

  Also I always wondered why in Revelation, one third of everything is destroyed, yet witnesses are what, 1 in 1000 people on earth today? (How many times does 8 million go into 8 billion?) Far cry from two out of three!
• 
  71

  Call For Children To Get Baptised From CO

  by freemindfade in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  so i've been pretty good at not going to meetings lately.

  yesterday i went for the co's last talks.

  older co. his last talk was absolutely shocking.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  This is so disturbing. More families torn apart. More children alone in the world.

  Fmf, that your wife can say they are wrong is actually a huge step. It wasn't that long for me from the time I admitted they were wrong about some things until I was completely out mentally. Admitting they are flat out wrong about something is huge!!
• 
  25

  We're not trying to convert you

  by jws in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  recently i saw a link to an article from the st. petersburg times (one of these links on the side of this forum to sometimes old articles).

  it was an article about jws and their preaching work.

  imo, middle to favorable.. but the one thing was from a door where the jws are saying they're not here to convert anyone, they just want to share a scripture.. what sort of bs is this?

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  FayeDunaway

  My mother always said 'we're not here to convert you on your doorstep.' And in my mind I always said 'no, she wants you to invite her inside for that. Have at least 6 months of studies, come to meetings. THEN you will have been converted.'

  Honestly tho, the longer she talked at doors the better. That meant my next turn might never come that day which was just awesome.