Posts by SophieG

Code Words for Fade Mode?

by SophieG in

jw
friends

there has got to be some kind of code word system to find out if someone you know is in "fade mode"!

lol!!!

what do you do when you suspect a jw is on the way out?...you may notice that they don't talk about meetings or service on social media...they don't even list jw as their religion.

SophieG

There has got to be some kind of code word system to find out if someone you know is in "fade mode"! LOL!!!

What do you do when you suspect a JW is on the way out?...you may notice that they don't talk about meetings or service on social media...they don't even list JW as their religion. They may also be very liberal as far as association and activities.

The natural inclination is to find like minded idividuals to interact with, but at the same time you run the risk of outing your self.

How have some of you guys dealt with this?

Is Today's Jehovah's Witness Religion The Same As It Was When You Were A Member?

by minimus in

jw
friends

in my day, you were proud to be a jw!

you knew you'd get "persecution" and it was all good.

when you abstained from blood, you read the ingredients of a candy bar!

SophieG

Found Sheep said: It's going down

Um I think it's more controlling then it was. That makes some leave but the in ones makes them "stronger" brainwashed

I agree it's more controlling and high routine so much so that folks really want to take a break and they are!

I see a lot of people leading 'on the edge lives". I have a few friends around my age group on social media and they hardly post about the KH or going out in FS. A few of them don't even have JW as a religious status on places like Facebook...

This is harder than I thought...

by SophieG in

jw
friends

ok....i am trying to go inactive to fade.

however all my family is in, except for one relative.

i cannot move away.

SophieG

Undercover:

I don't say a word. LOL! But I learned it's best to get up and leave because I have caught myself talking responding to or talking about the fallacies as if i am still in. ARGH!!!!!...it's just comes flying out! It's like living in bizarro world! I am still new at this...

King Solomon:

"HOWEVER, what it DOESN'T say is that the FAMILY must respect YOUR decision to leave, and should not shun YOU. It doesn't say that, because we all know they DO have a standing obligation to NOT respect your decision to leave, and in fact they most likely WILL shun you (or else they'll be subjected to being DFed, themselves)."

So true! But this is how you KNOW it's twisted. They will READILY ACCEPT AND INTERACT with the non-JW family members. But if YOU decided to live your life like said non-JW family member you are SHUNNED!!!

Although I will continue to stress that one family member who has faded is still in good standing with the entire family...AND sadi family member has gently been explaining why they made the choice to leave...

Cult Life - Disposable Relationships

by cog_survivor in

jw
friends

i've been reading a lot of the posts and agonizing with/for folks who are trying to fade or come out of the wtbs.

there seems to be this recurring theme of family still in, trying to keep from losing them.. this seems almost universal no matter the group.

there is no middle ground whatsoever.

SophieG

undercover:

YOU SAID IT!!!

That is a great way to reason with those we love who we still want to keep contact with. I mean when I think about how to say it, it's always along the line of how we as a family still interact with "worldly" family members. BUT let a JW family member decide to leave and you don't even talk to them. That makes NO SENSE!!!

This is harder than I thought...

by SophieG in

jw
friends

ok....i am trying to go inactive to fade.

however all my family is in, except for one relative.

i cannot move away.

SophieG

CyberJesus:

There is a price you have to pay for your freedom.... You are gonna have to pay one way or another.You want to get anyone out? its very difficult but possible and lengthy....

Hey if they wanna stay there that's all fine by me. I am not consciously trying TRYING to get them out. When I do talk to some of my relatives I always give a realistic view of life....minus all the JWs crap. For example, I have one relative that wants to get remarried and I told her I would NEVER MARRY A JW ever again. She was like: wow...!

00DAD:

"No one should be forced to worship in a way that he finds unacceptable or be made to choose between his beliefs and his family." - Awake, July 2009, p. 29

I agree. I am going to look up that article.

I understand your desire to "hold a family meeting" and lay your cards on the table but that will probably just end up with you in a meeting with three elders, a subsequent disfellowshipping and the loss of association with your family.

As you guys get to know me, you'll realize that I am kinda renegade. If that ever happened I would be the most popular apostate in my area. I would be scandalous! LOL! I promise to have tongues wagging left and right!

And I know exactly which elders I would be sitting with, I grew up with many of them. Many of them think of me as a "fleshly sister". That would be one of the funniest, eye-opening/popping (for them) experience. I may get them to follow me out. The big question would be: "WHY are are trying to leave?" I left it, came flying back and now I am ACTIVELY leaving again and DON"T PLAN on coming back >>>WHY???

Hmmmm..... It would make them pause.

tornapart: I just try and shut my ears and keep my mouth shut. It boils inside me though!

Makes me want to gouge my eyes out! UGH!

Awww...Oracle! Thank you! I will put that offer in my back pocket.

I already know that when I start to do certain things, they are going to go: "HUH???”. I have one family member whose fade helped ME fade…and when I speak to others it’s more about how HAPPY I am that they notice. The further away I get the more red flags will go up…but they will listen. They listened to the other family member who has left. But I am the oldest one in my set of relatives and I think it will floor them...I left before AND I am leaving AGAIN!!!???! YUP! For good!

It’s just the blasted rhetoric…I just sit there, trying not to roll the eyes…

Tooz: There is nothing wrong with a bunch of parrots getting together and mimiking each other and their ancestors. .... That is if you are a parrot yourself.

HILARIOUS!!! I am over the crackers!!!

“Either you are one of us, or you are not. You are either in or out. You are with us or against us. There is no middle ground whatsoever. Bonds are formed in the context of the group first. They may go deeper depending on the nature and personalities of the participants.”

That should be the FIRST sign to anyone that something is WRONG with JWs! I never noticed it until I decided to leave. It is IRRATIONAL!

I come from a large loving acceptable family. I would not be the first to fade, I have seen my family tolerate, still love and include the first fader, it’s family. I have also see them tolerate a DF family member by keeping some form in contact with them.

I think it will be very noticeable when I start to really live differently..but then again I have always been different! LOL! I do know when I start to make some specific choices/changes to my life it’s going to set off alarms. Maybe then I can *tearfully* explain my choice, to live life my way.

I can let go of my JWs friends, but you know what, I have a funny feeling they won’t let go of me…the ones who really know and care about me. I have been hanging with them and I been inactive/fading purposefully for about 2 years now, and none the wiser.

I am beginning to realize that fading more of a protection to THEIR FRAGILITY!!!