This is a quote from Tina in another thread, but I thought it said alot of how I feel about things Abaddon has said in this thread:
[QUOTE] This is not a question of fuck em all and who cares.{RCat's thoughts: Or, fuck off if you don't agree with me}To think like that is almost anti-social.
This is about communicating and realistic preferences.
We each have our own unique way of looking at the world. And many times it isn't in harmony with the status quo.
It's about it being perfectly OK to feel,believe and exist differently.
And having the courage to live and think differntly.
How would your life be if you tried to live it by others standards and approval? Not a nice thought there. You will give up a lot of personal autonomy by people pleasing and seeking their approval.
When I see opinions stated here that essentially say you SHOULD think my way,you SHOULD behave the way I want you too, you SHOULD allow me to continually say that your thoughts and communicating SHOULD be by standards that I say are 'right'....well,I have the right to say that is unrealistic and controlling.
It's also NOT about being condescended/patronized to(i.e. the snide 'smooches' tj puts in his post){RCat's comments: "Sweetie" or fool, or idiot, being said} as a way of dismissing and minimizing my thoughts.
Differences can be resolved by free open discussion . Going thru the board with these 'shoulds' essentially ignores and denies the uniquesness and diversity of this complex nature we call 'human'.
When we stop expending so much energy on being 'so right'......take a step back and look objectively and rationally at situations.
We will begin to understand and stop attempting to enforce our 'shoulds' on others.
{RCat's addition: Abaddon, I didn't say that you or anyone else had to agree with me. Likewise, I don't have to agree with you. So stop the bullying tactics. }
RCat