Posts by safe4kids

41

What is your definition of........

by SpiceItUp in

jw
friends

......beauty?.

i know the whole sentiment of beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

even rod sterling had his say on the matter (boy i loved that episode).. what is beautiful in your opinion?

safe4kids

Spice,

Great topic. As I've met you, I am qualified to say that you are a beautiful person

As for my ideas of beauty, I have to agree with Xena:

Beauty is in the person who laughs at your jokes, listens when you cry, supports you when you are down and exalts with you when you are UP

I would add that the true test of beauty is when the above LASTS, when it withstands the hailstorms of time and negative emotions/experiences. I have experienced moments of rare beauty, so exquisite that they're painful. I've connected emotionally and mentally on such deep levels that they defy explanation or definition, but these moments have been rare.

When it comes to men and physical beauty, sure I have a 'type' that attracts me (long dark hair, a bit of a close beard, preferably on the tall side, but not necessarily); however, what to me is REAL masculine beauty is a man who is able to be honest, express his emotions, deal with MY emotions without getting his knickers in a twist (not always easy LOL), and especially has a great sense of humor. Kindness and the ability to express affection are also very important to me.

In other areas of life, here are some things I find beautiful:

My sister, inside and out, and her relationship with Doug: acceptance, trust, and love in action, expressed daily in so many countless little ways that add up to a beautiful whole.

My daughter's sweet rosebud lips.

The freckles scattered across my son's nose.

Both of their faces when they're sleeping

My friend Misti, who tells me what I don't want to hear and who loves me in spite of all my flaws.

That first cup of coffee in the morning.

Captiva Island and the path the moonlight makes on the Gulf water at night.

Me, when I overcome fear and negative thinking to reach out to others.

Vivaldi and Rachmaninoff.

True friends, past, present and future.

The love and affection my exhusband displays to our children.

<==warbles: "These are a few of my favorite things..."

Dana

100

Why are people racist?

by MrMoe in

jw
friends

something on the song thread that i posted, song by tu pac, got me to thinking about racisim.

why do people discriminate against people that have different color skin?

i understand it is a learned response, but my "elder" father is very racist... and this is how i was raised.. i don't get it.

safe4kids

Racism bugs the hell out of me too, Moe. I was raised here in the south, by a TRULY southern, racist father...need I say more?? Interestingly, this is one area where being a JW actually was a positive as I was taught there not to judge people based on their color. Scary to think how different I may have turned out had I not had at least that one balancing factor.

Years ago, I worked with a woman I had gone to school with and we would often sit in the employee lounge over lunch and chat. She had a son who was about a year old and I was totally APPALLED one day to overhear her telling some of the other employees...WITH PRIDE!...how she and her husband were teaching him to say the 'n' word. Can you imagine? I was floored, absolutely and completely disgusted.

I read a quote the other day, which I thought on the surface was funny, and it is...but if you give it some thought, it really is where we're headed if discrimination and prejudice of all types aren't eradicated from the global society: End Racism. Kill everyone!

Six, thanks for posting Ginny's comments! I miss her.

Dana

18

I can't believe this!!!!!!!

by Delite2k in

i am so upset i don't know where to begin!

i met this guy back in dec. at my job, during the first week i started.

(i had a post in the past about my dating him, he's a jw) everything was going cool, except for the fact that: 1) he had a second job as a producer/dj and 2) he didn't have a car, he had to borrow his parents car.

safe4kids

Delite,

I'm so sorry to hear of your pain and what you're going through. It's unfortunate that you have to see him so often, as I think a period of time away from him would allow you to sort out your emotions and regain some perspective. Much harder when he's so often in your face.

Scully said:

Your best bet is to write a letter to yourself. Tell yourself what it was about you that drew this creep to you (too nice? too naive? too trusting?) and then what it was about his behaviour that you found attractive (claimed to follow a higher moral standard? paid attention to you? gave you lots of compliments?) and why he does not deserve your presence in his life (dishonest, user). Finally, include all the wonderful qualities you possess that would make you a good partner in a relationship next time around and what you'll be expecting from someone else before you start falling in love with them. Refer to it often.

This is excellent advice! It's so easy to feel bad about yourself when someone you love decides that they are no longer interested in a relationship with you. Easy to wonder "What did I do? What's wrong with me?" and yet, really, it says more about him than it does you. I would encourage you strongly to get out with your friends, even if you don't feel like it, and begin dating again. I'm not personally interested in a serious relationship again anytime soon but getting out of the house and enjoying the company of other men can do wonders for one's perspective.

I don't think that his behavior is necessarily due to his being a JW, although that may well contribute to it. As Scully and others said, he sounds like he doesn't have the balls to be honest with you and why would you want to settle for someone like that? He's still a boy. Additionally, be careful about revenge. When we're angry, hurt, and humiliated, it's tempting to want to lash out and cause hurt in return but is that really who you are and who you want to be? The few times that I've given in to such feelings, I've always regretted it. Besides, when we're still trying to control some aspects of a relationship, it means we've not yet come to terms with it and so the healing and moving on process is delayed. Try to let it go and just focus on yourself. I wish you the best of luck.

Dana

18

Hey sister, have a knock on THIS door!

by ChuckD in

jw
friends

safe4kids

Even as a JW, I would have thought this was funny, and yes, I would have knocked anyway. Of course, depending on who my companion was at the door, I most likely would have put on the appropriate expression of disgust

Dana

11

SE Michigan Festivities Fun but Not Over Yet!

by outnfree in

jw
friends

hello, board!.

i am grinning this morning, happy to have spent most of the past 18 hours in the company of some wonderful people from this board and their friends!

i was supposed to post a report last night, but somehow a pillow and a comforter seemed a better choice than the desk chair, so i'm posting this in a hurry on my way out to brunch!

safe4kids

Well...slap my ass and call me Sally! I knew I was bummed about not being able to make it up there for the apostofest, but now I'm REALLY perturbed! It looks and sounds as though you all had a wonderful time! And geez, Brenda, why didn't you tell me there'd be so many goodlooking men there??!!! A little extra motivation and I may well have figured out a way to join you all!

Jourles, I agree with you totally that Brenda is a real sweetheart. I've had the pleasure of meeting her twice now and a kinder, more caring person would be difficult to find.

I believe this is the first time I've seen pics of Obiwan and Hmmm and all I can say is: daaayyummm! You guys are cuties! Larc doesn't look like what I expected, not that I had a real image in mind, but you know how you just seem to form these mental pictures of people? Well, he's even more refined and intelligent looking and hey, love the beard! And RW...kind of the tall dark brooding type? LOL

I wish too that I could meet Jann. Brenda, please tell her hello from me and it WILL happen...one day. I think we'd have a lot to talk about. But hey, at least you didn't have to clean your house after all!

Thanks for sharing the pics and the fun....

Dana

P.S. Wrinkled blouse from the RAIN?! Suuuurrreeeeee Brenda suuuurrreee

121

Facial Hair Poll

by LittleToe in

jw
friends

the background to this thread is that i love wearing (?

) a beard, but my wife hates it.

i've changed my profile pic to reflect four states of facial hairiness (if it doesn't show, hit "refresh" on your browser).. i'm interested in your opinions.

safe4kids

Ohhhhhhhhhhh #4 for sure!!!!! Er...umm... I like hair

Dana

95

Englishman's BBQ Pics

by Simon in

jw
friends

ok, until i check with everyone who is in them whether they are ok for their picture to be posted i will stick to 'safe' ones (ie.

people who have already posted their pics or said it was ok):.

mark aka celtic / invisible and englishman.. .

safe4kids

Is this *THE* Her Ladyship???!!! Wow! I'm so glad to see you posting here Welcome to the board, so glad you're finally here.

Dana

P.S. BTW...LOVE all the pics Eman, etc...hopefully next summer, you'll have some more friends from across the pond visiting.

52

Alan F. and wife beaten while on vacation.

by seven006 in

jw
friends

our friend alan f. and his wife julie have been on vacation in oregon for a week.

they took a couple days to visit the oregon coast and rented a beach house in a small town south of cannon beach.

i drove down from portland yesterday to spend the day with them and their daughter julie and my son abe.

safe4kids

Dave! You rotten little stinker, you! After I realized it was a GAME, you had me laughing out loud...now my dog thinks I'm crazy but what does she know?

Anyway, good to hear from you. I've missed your sense of humor

Dana

108

Favorite Football team?

by WildTurkey in

ok guys and dolls, american football will start in a couple months, so who is the team you pull for?.

ok i know i will get shit for this but go cowboys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i love the dallas cowboys

safe4kids

WT:

The Tigers? THE TIGERS??!!! Ohhh, you poor dear man...so deluded. HERE kitty kitty kitty

GATOR BAIT GATOR BAIT!

Dana

12

JWs are RIGHT and worldlings are LIARS

by haujobbz in

jw
friends

this honestly seem to be message im getting from most jws.think about it whats more important the source or the information ie:say for instance i was an ex jw and told a witness who new me there house was on fire would they believe me, or label me as being unspiritual and liar.they seem to think that the watchtower society is jehovah, if he tells them to jump its matter of how high?

safe4kids

I dunno...I tried the reasonable, "safe" approach for awhile with my family but eventually I just couldn't take it anymore. Getting out completely gave me the freedom to be who I am, without hiding and walking on eggshells around my JW family. I think each individual has to decide what is in their own best interests and act accordingly. I've heard some great success stories from those who took the soft approach and were able to bring family members out with them. I've also heard the other side of the coin. It's very stressful trying to hide what you really think and feel for any length of time, especially from those closest to you. But hey! my sister was the last person in the world I ever thought would leave the JW's and I think now she's a bigger "apostate" than I am! LOL So you just never know....

Dana