Posts by Xanthippe

15

Stress on young ones

by LHS123 in

jw
friends

i had a horrible conversation with my 14 year old last night which i regret.

im still in but doubting more and more every day.. she is recently baptized.

she is outgoing and gorgeous and make friends easily, although not so much with the sisters in our hall, who pick her up and drop her again regularly , leaving her out of parties etc but then bringing her back into the circle, dropping her again...and so on.

Xanthippe

It's so upsetting seeing a child distressed I know. Sadly in this religion the members are very oppressed by the GB and the elders that they judge and oppress one another in turn. You have one child out and your daughter is reaching out to her school friends which is good.

She is finding her way, but I know how heartbreaking it is to see a daughter upset. Yes the JWs will judge and exclude her if she makes friends at school but that will help her see what the religion is really like. I feel for you, hang in there.

25

Dangerous "Pent up" feelings inside of most witnesses?

by stuckinarut2 in

jw
friends

i have often wondered if there is more harm done to people who are stifled or smothered from expressing their natural conduct, feelings or actions because of it being condemned by religious ideals?.

so if a person keeps suppressing their real personality and tries to mould themselves to the "perfect" or "ideal" version as expected from those controlling them, could they eventually "bust" so to speak?.

for instance, witnesses condemn many forms of entertainment.

Xanthippe

The psychologist my husband and I went to see after leaving the WTS listened to our description of the rules and regulations regarding sexuality even within marriage that JW are subjected to and he said that kind of repression often leads to child abuse. This was twenty-six years ago and we said no there is no evidence of that!

32

Seeking support during confusing and stressful 'cognitive dissonance'

by LHS123 in

jw
friends

sorry for the long post but i need help.

ive been a jw for 20 years - still active and attending meetings, baptised at 18, i have recently become very dissillusioned.

a few reasons: ill treatment of my kids by a prominent 'assembly speaker' elder, then my son left the truth at 15 (not baptised) and was 'dropped' instantly, despite this community having been his whole life for 15 years.

Xanthippe

Hi LHS123. I know this is difficult just take a deep breath. You are an open- minded person who really cares about others. Like you I grew up in this religion, I'm in the UK too, pioneered because I thought I was saving lives. Sorry I know this is hard but it isn't the 'truth' just one of many thousands of religions.

Take your time don't do anything in a hurry. Just keep reading and keep venting here if it helps you. Welcome to the rest of your life.

21

Joined up, long time looking

by highline20 in

jw
friends

joined the site, not that i have much to share.. i'm married to a jw (wife).

i never have been or will be a jw, i honestly hate the wt (not the jws).

being married to a jw, can sometimes make you crazy, i never believed any of the bs.

Xanthippe

Welcome highline20. Thanks for the radio show, I really enjoyed it. So funny, she hid Benny from the plumbers! Yeah a good reminder to roll the dice.

24

JWs through the eyes of an eight year old

by maksutov in

my wife is a jw, and is teaching our eight year old daughter jw beliefs.

i am trying to teach her about evolution and critical thinking skills.

here is a conversation we had today (as best i can remember it):daughter: "why do bad things happen?

Xanthippe

I think your answers were brilliant. Children just need their questions answered at that age and you did that. Even though I had my daughter after leaving the cult she still had teachers at school talking about Bible stories. I just answered each question, made her think as you have and let her form her own belief system.

She is now an atheist but when she was small she believed in Jesus because that's what she was taught at school. I never forced her to stop believing in something she liked at the time. Young children can be very stubborn. I think you are doing great just answering her questions.

51

I'm my favorite type of JW - Double Life

by thedepressedsoul in

the borg's tactics on most jw work.

they put fear into their mind, they guilt trip them and basically make them scared to do anything when they are away from the kingdom hall.

it allows them to control every aspect of their life.

Xanthippe

I'm glad you're not depressed anymore, a big symptom of that is guilt. So well done recovering. Sixteen years though? Are you trying to get a very very big family out?

59

How the human mind processes facts and faith differently

by EdenOne in

i found this very interesting article by t. m. luhrmann in todays edition of the new york times (i've highlighted a few parts i 've found most interesting):.

it seems weird to deny them.. and yet a broad group of scholars is beginning to demonstrate that religious belief and factual belief are indeed different kinds of mental creatures.

people process evidence differently when they think with a factual mind-set rather than with a religious mind-set.

Xanthippe

We need to have both statements repeated by EdenOne during a brain scan and whichever one lights up the brightest is the truth.

59

How the human mind processes facts and faith differently

by EdenOne in

i found this very interesting article by t. m. luhrmann in todays edition of the new york times (i've highlighted a few parts i 've found most interesting):.

it seems weird to deny them.. and yet a broad group of scholars is beginning to demonstrate that religious belief and factual belief are indeed different kinds of mental creatures.

people process evidence differently when they think with a factual mind-set rather than with a religious mind-set.

Xanthippe

Comments?
Personally, I would like to see an experiment that scans the brain while the person is making a factual statement: 'I believe my dog is alive'; if there's a difference in brain activity or area of the brain activated when saying: "I believe Jesus is alive".

Apparently when someone is hearing voices either through mental illness or it can be because of a fault with their ears, the auditory part of the brain lights up during a brain scan showing that their brain is reacting as though they are actually hearing, but they're not. So what would your experiment prove?

17

How to be happy flopping whoppers part time while pioneering!

by life is to short in

i was just thinking the other day why is there not service meeting part like my title says.

i mean that would really be helpful to those who totally believe the no collage thing.

since they do not want anyone to have any education why don't they at the very least try to help them to be happy living a life of poverty with service meetings parts, since everyone would be in poverty if they really listened to the fds.. like a part on how not to be upset when anther brother buys a new car parks it two blocks from the hall so as not to get door dings in it and rides all day in your car and does not give you a dime for gas.

Xanthippe

Thank you for replying, Magnum. I know many of us slaved away and lived in poverty. It's good to hear from you. Not because I feel ashamed of my genuine belief because I don't know how I could have thought any other way with the information control form birth onward, but because I need to know there were people who thought like me, a purely human response you see. So thanks. Not everyone was a piousneer.

Faye, thank you! It's great to get some feedback. Yes I can understand you not wanting to hurt your parents. I didn't want to hurt my JW mother when I left. I remember her teling me people kept asking her why she was crying in the KH. Not emotional blackmail at all! Living authentically can be hard can't it?

17

How to be happy flopping whoppers part time while pioneering!

by life is to short in

i was just thinking the other day why is there not service meeting part like my title says.

i mean that would really be helpful to those who totally believe the no collage thing.

since they do not want anyone to have any education why don't they at the very least try to help them to be happy living a life of poverty with service meetings parts, since everyone would be in poverty if they really listened to the fds.. like a part on how not to be upset when anther brother buys a new car parks it two blocks from the hall so as not to get door dings in it and rides all day in your car and does not give you a dime for gas.

Xanthippe

Yeah I know many believed it whole-souled like us Doc - that expression's a blast from the past isn't it? I am not so sure about there being no animosity about it on the board. Sadly the ones who make the most noise often want to say that people who worked hard were glory-seekers and hypocrites. Can't tell you how much I resent that. I have never sought glory in my life and I certainly never had any in the cult. Far from it!