What a dreadful situation. You are penalized for being successful. I thought the who point was to bring in converts so they do not die at Armageddon.
This exactly describes my life nearly thirty years ago. What I've realised is growing up in a poor family with parents who had little education I had no idea what life in the real world had to offer.
Now I know what I want to do, see the world, all of it. I don't have enough money for that but if I'd known the richness that real life has to offer, university, interesting jobs, travel and fun on this beautiful planet I wouldn't have wasted my time in that silly cult.