Posts by Phoebe

19

Feeling Alone. Need Emotional Support.

by Doubtfully Yours in

please chime in if you're one of my kindred spirit that happens to literally be trapped in due to strong family/friends ties, or plain fear of being abandoned in old age.. although leaving the org is my ultimate wish and desire, fear of the unknown, fear of how it would change my family dinamics, plain fear alone paralyzes me.

how do you cope in this difficult situation?

dy.

Phoebe

Doubtfully Yours

It's something I'm dealing with too. I never really had any friends at the hall but just the act of going there and being in a room full of people meant I was 'going out' and now I suddenly realise I have no where to go, nowhere to be. My psychologist has told me she wants me to make 'new friends' but I'm 64, it's a daunting task.

But I won't go back. Sometimes you just have to step out into the unknown and really, after all we now know do we really want to be associated with such an organization?

Message me anytime if you want to chat. I have made a friends on this forum already and that has really, really helped me.

24

If you had the means to kill a terrorist before he detonated would you ?

by Chook in

i mean blow their fucking brains out..

Phoebe

Absolutely I would.

I walked into a shop this morning and saw that darling little eight year's face on the front of every newspaper. A fun night out to see her favourite pop idol and she and 22 others are blown to bits by an evil monster. Yes, given the chance I wouldn't think twice.

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

Hi everyone,

I just want to say a massive thank you to you all for your lovely words and advice and if I could hug you all, I would.

I have been so scared I was doing the wrong thing leaving the WT after being in it for so long, but you have made me see I am doing the right thing and you have no idea how much that has helped me.

I know it won't be easy but I'll get through it. You are such a lovely group of people. I feel privileged to be part of this.

A huge heartfelt thank you to you all.

xxx

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

Thank you stuckinarut2 and jp1692

I appreciate your kind words. I know you are both right, it's just getting that into my stupid head!!!!

I won't look at emails in the middle of the night and I'm now heading over to jwfacts.com

Thanks.

xxx

52

last convention before global attack on witnesses

by Phoebe in

jw
friends

so it's not enough that i'm dealing with post traumatic stress/anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a jw (50 years baptized -- i stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. i get an email from the other side of the world.

'you have to go to the convention.

bro sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening.

Phoebe

So it's not enough that I'm dealing with Post traumatic stress/Anxiety and panic attacks all related to my life as a JW (50 years baptized -- I stopped going a couple of months ago) at 3 a.m. I get an email from the other side of the world. 'You HAVE to go to the convention. Bro Sanderson says we must watch the news, things are happening. Some people are saying this is out last convention before a global attack on witnesses.'

Now as someone who is battling with leaving this 'organization' emails like that - in the middle of the night - freak me out.

I don't sleep and when I do, I have terrible nightmares. I've been brought up to have a hope for the future and a belief that my only way of survival is to be an active JW. But my life as a JW was a very unhappy one (with abuse both mental and sexual) and in some ways it's a relief to get out but losing that hope, that faith is painful to me. I can't get the fear and guilt out of my head and frightening emails in the middle of the night don't help.

Can anyone share their personal experience to help me?

22

How do the GB micro-manage people's lives today?

by UnshackleTheChains in

how do the gb micro-manage people's lives today?one example is their micro management in dress and grooming.

eg their view of beards.

elders in most congs will take a brother to a corner and remind him why jws don't grow beards.

Phoebe

Beards are allowed over here, saw loads at the convention in London last year.

Micro management could also be subject to the whims of your local elders.

I remember the 'no white socks' rule.

Also, satellite TV was a no-no as was video players as everyone would be tempted to watch 'video nasties'

Computers were a no-no for awhile because we can't be trusted not to watch bad things.

Video games are still frowned upon.

When I was a teenager it was no short skirts then the 'midi' skirt came in and we thought hurrah, a fashion we can wear but then 'no midi's' it's deemed too fashionable. So having let all our skirts down to comply with the ban on minis we now had to take them up to comply with the ban on midis...you couldn't win.

When my husband came into the truth he was told he could no longer be a DJ (back in the early 80s) and he could no longer go and watch football matches. He was made to give up going to watch is favourite team play.

I'm in the process of breaking free of 60 years of micro management.

37

Which Watchtower publications did you keep?

by Schnufti in

i'm currently cleaning up our bookcase and need to decide what goes into the trash.

i'll keep the watchtower books that are not available online anymore (e.g.

the brown "reasoning" book).

Phoebe

I live in a small house, we've just been under our stairs (storage place) and pulled out decades of bound volumes. I'm all for throwing them away but my husband says keep them. But why? I'm not going to use them again - ever. So bit by bit I'm throwing them away but I'm keeping my pink paradise book. The book that scared me into baptism at 13. All those buildings falling down on people and my dad telling me if Armageddon came tomorrow that would be me!

25

Outraged After Watching The May 2017 Broadcast

by pale.emperor in

ok, so i've just put myself through another months broadcast so i can see what bull they're feeding my still in relatives.

all was going fine... well, i say fine, i mean the usual cheesy videos, rehearsed reactions from jeffrey jackson (you remember him, the one who told half truths and lies at the royal commission) and propaganda from jw land.. the last feature brings up 9/11 and the paris 2015 attack at the bataclan.

just as im thinking "how are they gonna spin this in their direction" i hear these words:.

Phoebe

pale.emperor

I share your outrage. I was given a lift to the meeting by an elder and his wife and I commented on how awful the terrorist attack was in Paris and the elders wife said 'yes, but no brothers or sisters were involved.' I replied that what about those poor people gunned down but they weren't bothered. As long as no brothers were hurt the rest were just wicked worldly people as far as they were concerned.

15

Australia Take 5: “I was sexually abused by a JW elder as a child”

by darkspilver in

take 5 is a popular weekly 'women's magazine' based in australia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/take_5_(magazine).

the following 1,100 word story is from their website - don't know if it's in the printed version.....take 5, may 5, 2017.

Phoebe

Thank you for your kind words stuckinarut2

I feel this is a safe place for me to talk openly.

15

Australia Take 5: “I was sexually abused by a JW elder as a child”

by darkspilver in

take 5 is a popular weekly 'women's magazine' based in australia.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/take_5_(magazine).

the following 1,100 word story is from their website - don't know if it's in the printed version.....take 5, may 5, 2017.

Phoebe

stillin

Your post doesn't offend me. You are probably right about the money.

I tend to believe most people's stories as who would want to lie about being abused? Most people say nothing and suffer in silence as I did for almost 60 years until my doctor said you must finally address it.Now I have the courage to be quite open about it.

Of course, magazines pay money and it wouldn't be the first time someone has made something up for the money. But in the case of Tara, I don't think so. Yes, the words 'hell' and not wearing ribbons in her hair might seem suspicious but the article writer may have felt 'hell' would resonate with the readers as opposed to Armageddon and who knows? maybe her parents were super strict JWs and didn't allow coloured ribbons (growing up as a JW I had friends who weren't allowed to wear earrings or bangles) and maybe going to the abusers house to read scriptures meant 'the book study'

I hope Tara finds help but whatever help there is out there...it will never, ever fix it. Abuse damages you for life.