Posts by Scully

27

My 18-yr old college freshman nephew has just been cut off for leaving the JWs...

by Alfred in

i spoke about him in a previous thread... he's the nicest kid you'll ever meet... smart, humble, shows respect and is very kind to everyone around him... except for one minor thing... you guessed it... he no longer believes in the jw religion.

also, he feels it is simply a place for hopeless people to gather and give each other moral support without actually doing anything productive to better their lives... i won't get into the details on how he arrived at this conclusion... suffice to say, he did not want to be a part of this crowd any longer.. incredibly, when he was a lot younger, he was able to convince his jw father (a po) and his jw mother (my sister) that they should let him go to college when he turns 18 (and help him pay for it!!!).

so they started putting some money away and my nephew has been in college since september!.

Scully

I know it isn't easy. I had huge student loans to repay when I graduated from college. I also had a family to support. But it's so worth it to get an education and a career that satisfies your soul.

It has been just over a year since my final payment on the student loan was made. I can't put in to words what a sense of accomplishment that was to truly earn my own education and pay for it all on my own. It made me appreciate the value of it that much more, particularly after hearing JWs taunting me that I was wasting my time going back to school because Armageddon Was Just Around The Corner™.

There may be scholarships or grants that do not have to be repaid to help your nephew financially. He may need to plan to have a lighter course load to allow him to earn some extra money to pay for books and tuition, and also take some summer courses to help lighten the course load even more. Have him check into getting second hand textbooks (same edition as his courses require) from students who may have dropped a course or no longer need the textbooks.

Can you help him out in some way? It doesn't have to be financial. It could be to have him over for meals regularly, to make sure he's getting enough to eat (because we all know the limited nutrional value of ramen noodles... ) or to get him some toiletries (shampoo, soap, deodorant, toothpaste, etc. because they get de-prioritized when cash flow is limited) or just to hang out with him and let him know that you aren't going to leave him in the lurch like his parents did. I used to buy a chicken on the day the supermarket marked down their meat by 50% to make room for the fresh stuff. I'd roast it on the first day and we'd have maybe half of it for dinner, and half would be leftovers. I'd make sandwiches and a casserole with half the leftovers, and I'd use the carcass to make a big pot chicken stock and put the remaining leftovers in soup, using some celery, onion and carrots and leftover pasta. I paid maybe $5 for the chicken and fed my family of 5 for almost a whole week. If your nephew is willing to learn some basic cooking skills, he can stretch his food budget a long way.

Could you offer him room and board without creating a bigger problem for him with his family? He may really appreciate that someone in his family wants to help him succeed in college, even if you're limited in the way you can make things a bit easier for him.

234

Suicide - How many do you know within the JWs

by Lady Lee in

thw wts likes to play games with their statistics.

one interesting but truly tragic is the number of jwhovah's witnesses who commit suicie.. now i suspect that if a person commits suicide shortly before or after they are disfellowshipped then the elders would say that person wasn't a witness or that they had done something so terrible that they were too guilty to admit it and by their action of committing suicide they pretty much declared they were no longer a jw.. yup fancy talk to make sure any crap didn't fall on them.. so my question.. do you know of cases like this?

if so then can you answer a few more questions.. had this person been dfed or in real danger of being dfed or whatever the equivalent is if they were never baptized?.

Scully

finally awake writes:

when I was suffering badly with post partum depression, I got no help from the elders.

At least they recommended medication for depression... which would mean a visit to the doctor.

When I had PPD, I was investigated for Demonized™ articles in my home (without my knowledge or consent, and was pissed off beyond belief when I found out about it), was advised against seeing a psychiatrist (he'll brainwash you right out of The Truth™!), and when I went anyway I was advised against discussing anything about being a JW (he'll think we're all nuts!!). Because I was unable to go Door-to-Door™ due to panic attacks and had asked the Congregation Secretary™ in confidence for help - perhaps sitting in on Bible Studies™ with the Pioneer™ Sisters™, rumours started circulating that Sister Scully doesn't want to go in Service™ anymore, and then a Pioneer™ Sister™ came up to me after a Meeting™ and rudely told me: "Get off your ass and get your own damn Bible Studies™".

Then, I made an extraordinary effort to attend the Memorial™. One of the Elders™ greeted me with "Look at what the cat dragged in". Then during the Memorial™, I had to take the baby to the back of the room because she was fussing, and the Attendants™ refused to pass the Emblems™ to me. There were DFd people in the audience having the Emblems™ passed to them, but not me. I was suicidal from that incident - I just wanted to save Jehovah the trouble of destroying me at Armageddon™. I was in the hospital, and they all knew it, but not one of them gave a $h!t about me. I believed I would have been better off dead, that my family and everyone I knew would have been better off if I was dead.

That happened about 18 years ago... but whenever I write about it here, those feelings come flooding back as if it were yesterday. I still can't write about it without shedding tears.

11

do you have 100 watt heartfelt zeal?

by hoser in

jw
friends

this is an interesting quote from the april 15 study edition tower page 17 par 15. .

if satan succeeded in reducing 100-watt.

heartfelt zeal for jehovahs service to.

Scully

I like the idea of comparing JWs to compact flourescents. Slow to start up and use less energy. They just pretend to give off the same amount of light as a 100-watt bulb.

LMAO

48

i spoke with an elder about university

by MsGrowingGirl20 in

jw
friends

he always tells me that i've adopted him as a father...we're pretty close.

i spoke with him asking for some advice about whether or not to pursue my degree.he, to my surprise, couldn't give me his opinion.he told me that if he tells me how he really feels (he says he has some strong views on the matter) he may be disciplined for 'promoting higher education'....in effect he was telling me to go ahead and pursue my degree but not really saying it.

he asked me to promise him that i'll speak to the presiding overseer and the circuit overseer....i haven't as yet.

Scully

It sounds to me that you are an adult.

You don't need their permission. And they don't need you sharing things with them that are absolutely none of their business. They may believe that they are entitled to be involved in your personal business, but keep reminding yourself that they are NOT.

Your livelihood and your education are none of their business, and they shouldn't be meddling with your life choices. I had to deal with the same kind of mentality when I went back to school, and that was when the JW rules on "higher education" were somewhat relaxed.

We ended up moving outside the circuit to be closer to campus. We never set foot in the Kingdom Hall™ after that point, although at first we didn't rule it out. Still the judgemental attitude reared its head whenever we met JWs we knew: "Why are you wasting time in college, when Armageddon Is Just Around The Corner™??" My answer was that I wanted to provide for my family, the way the Bible expected me to do, because I sure as hell couldn't rely on the Congregation™ for that, and I learned the hard way that when times were tough, help from the Congregation™ was nowhere to be found.

Well, not only did I graduate with honours, I started earning a very decent living that I never could have hoped for with just a high school education. I have paid off my student loans, have a pension plan and can retire in less than 10 years, excellent benefits for myself and my family, have a car that I own, and could support my family independently if that became necessary.

That was 17 years ago. What would my life be like had I listened to the JWs who kept telling me that going to school was a waste of time? It would be exactly like the JWs lives are who warned me against higher education: exactly the same as it was 17 years ago, with the same financial struggles and hardships that I've put behind me.

8

I May Have Found Loophole!

by Yan Bibiyan in

Scully

They've basically lumped DFd and DAd people in the same category by stating from the platform that So-and-so Is No Longer One Of Jehovah's Witnesses™. The Legal Department will claim that this change was motivated to remove any negative association that might have come from the term Disfellowshipped™, which would be construed by those hearing as deliberate, unrepentant wrongdoing on the part of the person named, and potentially expose the Congregation™, the local Body of Elders™ and the WTS to allegations of slander against the individual named.

Nobody knows anymore who is DFd or DAd, presumably to remove the thought from the average JW's mind that someone might leave the JWs as a form of protest against internal corruption, or a valid disagreement over doctrine. The implication will be that the announcement serves to paint with the same brush both people deemed to be Unrepentant Wrongdoers™ and people who leave as a conscientious decision of protest against the WTS and/or its doctrines and/or practices.

Eventually, though, I can foresee a time when more and more individuals will be Disassociated By Their Actions™, which would practically eliminate the need for Judicial Committees™. All you'd need would be two people claiming to have observed someone doing something they shouldn't be doing, or the Elders™ approaching someone who is Inactive™ and asking whether they consider themselves to be a JW, and presto! you're Disassociated™ No Longer One of Jehovah's Witnesses™ by the next Service Meeting™.

32

"You should never look for/expect happiness in this world"

by ilikecheese in

jw
friends

my jw boyfriend says this all the time whenever i'm venting about life and some of its disappointments, career aspirations and how hard they are to make happen sometimes, problems with friends/family, or just random stuff that gets to me.

i'm not a negative person or anything; i only get moody occasionally.

i am a woman; it's kind of required.

Scully

You have a JW boyfriend and he says *that* to you??

So, what are you, chopped liver?? Doesn't he believe that your relationship is worth anything??

I would be freaking pissed off and ready to show him the cold side of the door after a psychological back-hander like that.

26

got hotmail hacked...anyone help me?

by Aussie Oz in

jw
friends

my hotmail got/is hacked.. i have no idea how, i never open links or downloads i dont trust etc etc.

started when i noticed i couldnt open hatmail in ei and had to use firefox.. it sent emails to all my contacts (i have multiple accounts with their own passwords, so i dont know if went thru them too) and i know my dad opened one and it shut his pc down so bad he's had to take it into a shop.. i ran a scan and removed one trojan win32.. i went onto a different pc and changed all passwords then logged off and back on, checked emails.

sent emails to warm my contacts.

Scully

You may have opened an email from one of your contacts that led to a link or had a file to open, without any other message, which contained a trojan horse type virus.

The virus would then send a similar email to all your contacts.

A long time ago, I read a suggestion (I can't recall where) to protect your friends from being inadvertently virus-spammed by you: you add a fake email contact at the beginning of your contact list (alphabetically speaking), so I created a fake email address with lots of aaaaa's in the name part and a fake domain (test it to make sure it's fake). Apparently the virus will launch a test on that first email address and when it bounces back, the virus shuts itself off and does not proceed to your other contacts.

As another precaution, I'm always suspicious of receiving email

from people I don't hear from very often
from people I don't know
when they contain attachments or links without any other text in the message - I never open / follow these
if the subject line is blank
if the message/subject line is out of character for the sender

33

Nothing More To Say

by Farkel in

jw
friends

i really have nothing much more to say, except to say thank you to all the people who have contributed to me in my threads and all the people whom i battled over the years.

the battles have been most entertaining and enlightening.

i've learned a great deal from them, and i've laughed a great deal from the idiotic attempts of fools to make a coherent argument (think "dubs").. it's been a roller-coaster ride for me over a decade and it has consumed a huge amount of my time.

Scully

384

Atheism 2.0

by Qcmbr in

apologies if this has been posted before or even discussed.. this ted talk gets at the heart of what atheism is missing and my wife an di discussed this for a long time last night.

in short religion provides a framework for meeting, for ritual, for art, education and sociality.

without this framework atheism can seem lonely harsh and certainly disorganised (the general idea that education and culture can replace the gap may well be true but without a formal structure the route to personal mental fulfillment is somewhat piecemeal and patchwork.

Scully

Atheism, imo, can be whatever you want it to be, though I agree that getting a group of atheists together is akin to herding cats.

You complained that there are no athiest social activities for you to join, but I wonder if you're going at it backwards perhaps?

Why not just decide with your wife what kinds of activities you enjoy doing together - ones that don't have a belief system as their starting point - and see what you can find locally?

For example, if you want to take cooking lessons, you wouldn't show up at a Catholic Church and expect to find cooking lessons, would you? You'd find a place nearby that offers cooking lessons and sign up for the ones that interested you. Or if you wanted to take up hiking or camping, you wouldn't go to an Anglican Church to find people interested in hiking, you'd go to an outdoors shop and check out their notice boards or find an online group and see if there are local people who are interested in hiking or camping and would be willing to share their expertise over coffee, etc. If you're looking for a few friends to take up fitness activities, join a gym that has the kinds of classes that interest you (yoga, tai chi, kick boxing, etc).

I've made some lovely friends by going to cooking classes and crafting classes, and I have amazing friends via my place of work. Mr Scully has made some good friends through his professional background. We meet people who have a similar interest in pets and people in our neighbourhood. But I don't expect them to come looking for me... we go out with an open mind and open to meeting new people in any situation.

One of the big disservices that has been part-and-parcel of "belonging" to a high control group like the JWs, is that the group fosters an unrealistic expectation of the social milieu, where everyone in the group is automatically your friend as soon as you walk in the door. Real friendships are not like that. Real friendships grow and develop over time, and require attention and thoughtfulness to cultivate them, in addition to having common interests. The thing is, when you start with a belief system as the "common interest", you still have to deal with the diversity of personalities beyond that. It's why there's often nothing to talk about between former JWs and the JWs that they used to be acquainted with and socialized with in the past... the only things they had in common were the JW belief system and their geographic proximity.

You can also try to find a local Freethinkers group and go from there. http://nobeliefs.com/freethinkers.htm or http://www.infidels.org/search.html

28

Preparing the Kool-aid - April 15 WT

by LostGeneration in

check this paragraph from the article about how jah spared noah, the israelites at the red sea, etc.... scary!.

pg 26 para 16. as events unfold during the great.

tribulation, christians will need to heed.

Scully

What a ringing endorsement of emotional blackmail.