Scully

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Posts by Scully

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  46

  I need help in dealing with a toxic family member!!!!

  by hoser in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i have a close family member who is a pro in using shame to try to make me feel bad.

  they are coming to stay at my place soon and the issue of me and mrs hoser not attending/ doing field service will come up no doubt.. i need some advice on how to deal with this because whenever i deal with these relatives they make me feel worthless.

  it is probably part because they are jw's and jw's motivate by fear and guilt.. .

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  Scully

  Several months ago, we adopted a young dog from a shelter. She had not been trained by her previous owner, and at almost 18 months old, still wasn't housebroken. She knew she was supposed to do her business outside, yet she had accidents all the time. We figured out that the previous owner must have scolded her - she acted afraid and cowered when she pottied indoors, but something must have happened to reinforce the behaviour. We realized the negative attention (yelling/scolding) must have been the reinforcing factor that perpetuated the behaviour. So we started ignoring the accidents, and started rewarding the behaviour we wanted. Whenever she did her business outside, we hugged her and praised her: "What a good girl!! Good job!!" Within a week, the accidents stopped and she started letting us know when she wanted to go outside. We kept reinforcing the appropriate behaviour with praise - she loved the positive attention even more than the negative attention she'd had from the previous owner, and it was as if she wanted to elicit praise from us. She stopped other negative behaviour too, like tearing blankets and nipping at us as a greeting, when we rewarded appropriate behaviour with praise and attention.

  Whenever they say something that arouses feelings of fear, guilt or anxiety in you or something that is simply none of their business, take a deep breath, IGNORE it and change the subject to something more appropriate.

  Whenever they say something pleasant, loving and helpful, feel free to respond in kind.

  It may take them a while to catch on, but they will eventually realize how to speak to you if they wish to have a response.
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  36

  Weekend Warning - Family May be after You Come Sunday, be ready.

  by LostGeneration in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the wt this weekend:.

  help those who have become inactive.. jesus said that there is joy in.

  heaven when just one lost sheep is.

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  Scully

  Those Words of Encouragement™ are spewed forth in the WT Study™ on an annual basis. It doesn't seem to have made the slightest difference where my JW relatives are concerned.

  It's been almost 20 years since we last set foot in a KH. In all that time, not once have my JW relatives made a single attempt to try to bring us back or to try to figure out why we became Inactive™ in the first place. Not once.

  On the one hand, I'm grateful for the lack of interference. On the other, it annoys me that they feel justified in shunning us despite their never having made a shred of effort toward bringing us back to the fold. It's as if they've already decided we aren't worth the effort.

  That's Love™ JW style!
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  29

  shock horror! WITNESSING ATTIRE NOW CONDONES OPEN-NECK SHIRTS FOR MALES!

  by steve2 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  go to jw.org right now friends and you will see a young male jw witnessing in a rural setting with publication in hand and - take careful note - wearing a crisply-white open-neck shirt.

  bring out the carnival, light the lights: the organ ization is kicking itself into an ongoing casualization of its rank and file.. in the 1960s through 1980s i know brothers who dared to attire themselves sans ties who were reprimanded or worse.

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  Scully

  I was reprimanded for wearing ski pants under my dress coat in the middle of January. They prefered that I wear stockings with my boots under a dress, and freeze my bum off in the bleeding cold winters that are normal in Quebec.
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  17

  Hubby went out in service today.

  by KariOtt in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i can't believe hubby and sis in law actually went out in service today.

  when he left this morrning i reminded him to inform those who didn't slam their doors on them that if they join your cult that this will be the last christmas, holiday and birthday they will be allowed to celebrate.

  i thought it very inapproiate going out today to knock on doors trying to get converts..

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  Scully

  I wonder if he and his family would partake if you cooked them a nice big Christmas dinner?

  You wouldn't have to *call* it a "Christmas" dinner - just turkey is on sale and all the fixin's too and the leftover sandwiches are soooo yummy! and the turkey soup from scratch... oh my!!
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  8

  Need Advice about Grandparents/Blood Doctrine

  by SnailsPace2 in

  1. social
  2. family

  my in-laws are taking my little boy to a different state for small trip and the want me to create a document stating they are allowed to take him over state lines.

  which is fine.

  my husband would like for me to construct the document and include information concerning medical decisions and that they are only to be made after contacting the parents.

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  Scully

  To answer your question, a document pertaining to your child's health care decisions should be worded something like this:

  My son/daughter, (insert name here), is temporarily visiting their grandparents, (insert names here), from (start date Day/Month/Year) to (end date Day/Month/Year).

  In the event of a medical emergency, my child's well being and life are of the utmost importance. We can be reached at any time by cell phone at (###) ###-#### to be kept informed of my child's condition and to grant consent for any medical procedures that may be required.

  My child's current medications are:
  (medication name, dosage, taken x# times daily) [repeat for each medication your child uses]

  My child is allergic to: (list allergies, especially medications like antibiotics, and include food allergies)

  This document is in effect for the duration of (child's name) visit with (grandparents' names), (restate dates above).

  Your printed name and signature

  Your husband's printed name and signature

  Dated this (date, month, year) at (your city of residence).

  -------------------------

  Under no circumstances should you relinquish your decision making rights on behalf of your child to anyone else. In this day and age, where instant communication is possible via cellular phone, there is no reason whatsoever to give that right away to someone who might make a well-intentioned but poorly informed choice that you yourself would not make on your child's behalf.
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  8

  Need Advice about Grandparents/Blood Doctrine

  by SnailsPace2 in

  1. social
  2. family

  my in-laws are taking my little boy to a different state for small trip and the want me to create a document stating they are allowed to take him over state lines.

  which is fine.

  my husband would like for me to construct the document and include information concerning medical decisions and that they are only to be made after contacting the parents.

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  Scully

  Are you certain that your inlaws wouldn't use a legal document like that to potentially get you in hot water with the Elders™, especially if you put in writing that you consent to your son receiving blood transfusions if deemed medically necessary?

  Are you certain that your inlaws would even respect such instructions related to your son's medical care in the event it was medically necessary?

  To be perfectly honest, I would NOT permit a child of mine to have unsupervised time alone with JW grandparents, unless I was a JW myself and agreed 100% with their teachings and doctrines. When you are "fading", Inactive™ or attempting to distance yourself from the JW religion, allowing an impressionable child to have unsupervised access with JW grandparents or other JW relatives who might feel they have a 'mission' to save them from your 'reckless' course of action (i.e., Leaving The Truth™) is asking for trouble.
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  11

  Shunning: How would You Overcome it?

  by ABibleStudent in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  after reading the thread soon to be 18 and quit speaking to her mother- suggestions?, i started thinking of how to use the wtbts's doctrine to help jws to see what is the real purpose of shunning for the wtbts.

  hopefully, some good ideas will be posted to this thread and may help exjws and jws to maintain relationships with each other instead of shunning the non-jws.. how would a jw react to the following?.

  do christians shun or not associate with non-jws to help non-jws believe that the wtbts has the "truth", to keep the cong clean of non-believers, or to not be shunned?

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  Scully

  You overcome it by not participating in it. They are the ones required by the WTS to shun ex-JWs and there ought to be consequences for such behaviour. The opposite (ex-JWs shunning JWs) is not a requirement - to do so would be to endorse the behaviour and participate in it, and even worse, it endorses the WTS's claim of authority over the ex-JW.

  They want to shun you and your spouse, the parents of your children? Then they don't get the privilege of associating with your children and being allowed to treat their ex-JW parent with disrespect (and thereby set an example of disrespecting their parents). If they want to have their grandchildren / nieces / nephews in their lives, they have to behave in a manner that sets an example of acceptance, love and tolerance of everyone, including people whose opinion on religious matters differs from their own.
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  11

  They all laughed when I insisted that the Yellowstone caldera was a threat...

  by Nathan Natas in

  1. social
  2. current

  strangely enough, jesus never warned that "there will be wars and rumors of wars, but if the yellowstone caldera blows, we're toast.".

  ...and jesus' composite bride through the pages of the watchtower, never suggested that deeply-dipped dubs ought to move out of the area downwind of yellowstone, lest they be transformed in the twinkling of an eye into crispy monoliths.. but up here in the uadna orbiting space platform, things are different.

  we're rational.

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  Scully

  After a long and deafening public silence, UADNA finally speaks!

  How I have missed UADNA bulletins!
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  25

  atheist- Is there anything about born again christians you do like?

  by unstopableravens in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  a.

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  Scully

  They are wonderful when they leave me alone. ;)
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  66

  My brother died yesterday

  by satinka in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  "albert" was 55 years old, and the fifth-born of seven children.

  i am the second oldest and babysat him often while he was growing up --- and while i was still at home.. yesterday, albert was out taking his usual morning stroll around his small town, when he collapsed on the sidewalk.

  the doctors said it was a heart attack.

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  Scully

  So sorry for your loss, satinka. While Ottawa wasn't nearly as cold as Manitoba was yesterday, your beautiful tribute to your brother warmed my heart.