Sentinel

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Posts by Sentinel

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  19

  Sometimes it just doesn't matter how much you care about one another

  by imallgrowedup in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  when certain circumstances interrupt the natural flow and growth of a relationship, it is like a flower that continues to be cut off just as it is beginning to bloom.

  the bloom is the desired result for both people, but the bush it grows on (the relationship) continues to take a beating because of the circumstances, and so it just isn't possible for the flower to reach it's fullest potential.

  sometimes there is no access to the bloom for one person because the other has erected a fence around part of the bush and the flower itself with the thought that it can protect it, but what it actually does is make it impossible for the other to nurture it and keep it alive.

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  Sentinel

  ....if you notice any new green leaf or the birth of a small bud, you can believe and have hope. I think lots of relationships are held together simply by the belief that the plant is still a flower, when it's actually a tangled mass of weeds.

  I built my first marriage on "hope" and I tried to grow something beautiful out of it. I was planted in a bad marital garden. I watered the plant, but the soil was bad to begin with. It was really hopeless. I just didn't want to accept it because I had invested so much of myself into the relationship. Sometimes a flower would bloom, only to quickly die. It was torture, but I was the only one who could fix "me". To do that, I had to leave my garden.

  Reading your thread made me think back to those days....and this comes to mind. I don't know who wrote it:

  "It only takes a moment. A moment of sanity. Clarity. A moment in which you know, deep inside yourself, that you've had enough. You've lived in pain too long. It's time to change."

  I wish you the best.

  /<
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  5

  The Waiting Game...

  by Sentinel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as most of you know, my ever-faithful sweet little jw mom (79) has had prior scheduled surgeries called off at the last minute.

  she called me tuesday evening(6/15) to advise me her open heart surgery was back on--for "today" (6/17) she resides over a thousand miles away and is actively shunning her non-jw offspring.

  not much notice, and none of her children will be with her in person.

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  Sentinel

  ((Viv)) Thanks sweetie.

  Truthseeker, Thanks! It's always good to be positive.

  Going under for anything, is still a risk. With her JW blood issues, her age, bleeding history and anemia, she is a very high risk surgery.

  /<
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  5

  The Waiting Game...

  by Sentinel in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  as most of you know, my ever-faithful sweet little jw mom (79) has had prior scheduled surgeries called off at the last minute.

  she called me tuesday evening(6/15) to advise me her open heart surgery was back on--for "today" (6/17) she resides over a thousand miles away and is actively shunning her non-jw offspring.

  not much notice, and none of her children will be with her in person.

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  Sentinel

  As most of you know, my ever-faithful sweet little JW mom (79) has had prior scheduled surgeries called off at the last minute. She called me Tuesday evening(6/15) to advise me her open heart surgery was back on--for "today" (6/17) She resides over a thousand miles away and is actively shunning her non-JW offspring. Not much notice, and none of her children will be with her in person. We are all with her in our hearts.

  I listened to what my heart told me, and I phoned her last night and then again this morning before I left for work. I know she was happy that I called. At her age, having a valve replaced and triple by-pass is quite serious. At least, aside from being anemic, she says they tell her she is healthy. Turns out she does not have the bleeding disorder called "Von Willebrand". (She misunderstood her doctor....and that seems to happen alot.)

  It's so difficult being here at work, watching the clock tick so slowly. She's probably on the operating table at this moment 11:35AM.... going under. She will sleep the sleep and at this point, if she passes, she will be facing another part of her journey. We have to be prepared. I won't hear anything for another four hours. My brother will get a direct call from the surgeon, and then he will advise each of us.

  Keep my mom in your hearts. We realize we have no control. But love and compassion is a healing thing.

  /<
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  18

  WT Load Even Possible to Carry???

  by Confucious in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  hey guys, .

  i was a reg pioneer along with my wife for 9 years.

  during this time, we honestly tried to do everything by the book.

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  Sentinel

  My experience with being a regular pioneer was that too much emphasis was placed on "hours" and "literature placed" and "home bible studies". Pioneers were to set the example in all things. I was very honest in my reporting of time, and usually fell a bit short of reaching the 100 hours. We were expected to fill in for giving the Ministry School parts whenever someone didn't show up. They rarely seemed to appreciate my sincerity or my efforts. Instead, they kept at me about meeting the "requirements". I quit the pioneering after becoming very disallusioned.

  All through school, from the eighth grade forward, it was drilled into us that furthering our education was wrong. The "end" was so near and we had an obligation to bring people into the fold. We were responsible for lives. It was all just too incredibly much for me to bear.

  /<
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  69

  According to the bible.....what were birds made of?

  by gumby in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  according to the bible, man was made from the ground.....the dirt.. do you know what "fowls" were made from?

  take your pick.. from the waters.gen.1:20-21"and god said, let the waters bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

  and god created great whales, and every living creature that moveth, which the waters brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged fowl after his kind: and god saw that it was good.

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  Sentinel

  Hummm, guess it means there were at least two god's doing some creating on this planet, and at least two accounts of creation in Genesis.

  "....and god said 'it is good for man to be confused' and so the bible was written".

  /<
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  24

  What Do You Believe In??

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  god?

  yourself?

  nothing?

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  Sentinel

  .....whatever "works". Since I trust myself, I believe in myself. I learned to love myself, and all else has fallen into place.

  /<
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  117

  Signs of an Awakening Kandalini!!

  by frankiespeakin in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  paste and clip:.

  http://www.kundalini-gateway.org/ksigns.html.

  signs and symptoms of awakening.

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  Sentinel

  I am very aware of this subject and information. It truly does make one really think about lots of things. It makes sense to me.

  /<
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  21

  Mom had another stroke.

  by El Kabong in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  earlier this year, i posted that my mom suffered a stroke and we had to put her in a nursing home.

  i got a call a little while ago that my mom just suffered another stroke.

  she's in the hospital in icu.

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  Sentinel

  El, so sorry to hear about your mom. I know this must be so emotional for you, yet I know you should go and see her.

  My dad passed away in January of '01, after a major stroke, a several other smaller ones that followed. He too was in the nursing home when the big one occured. They put him back in the hospital, but he didn't last too long. He was over a thousand miles from me, and I didn't go to be with him. My brother says that I'm fortunate that my memories of him were when he was in a healthier state. It would have been really bad for me to travel all that way to see him in such a state. I was tossed back and forth and decided that it was much better if I stayed home. I knew I wouldn't make it in time to see him alive, and he wasn't going to have a funeral or any service of any type. He went straight to the crematory. I waited several months later and made a trip to visit my mom. It worked out really well for me.

  Treasure whatever time you can have with your mom. Do what you heart tells you. Hold her hand. It will not be a bad thing.

  /<
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  51

  I need some advise (I want to get divorced)

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.

  however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.

  as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.

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  Sentinel

  LT, I meant that to "overcome" the situation of being married to a mate who was still a JW, would mean that the situation just isn't "tolerated" (put up with), but it is dealt with, one issue at a time, by two people who view many situations differently, but who want their marriage to work because there is still so much real love and commitment to the relationship.

  I believe the non JW can tolerate more than the JW as far as the rules and regulations that the JW is bound to; but if one continues to stay in a relationship where they are just tolerating a situation or a person it won't survive. If they can overcome this difference, they can survive.

  /<
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  51

  I need some advise (I want to get divorced)

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'll start this post off by saying i love my wife, she has beautiful qualities and a sweet personality.

  however i realize (and i think she does too, though she may not admit it) that since i left the org behind our goals and viewpoints are no longer unified.

  as a couple we rarely fight or argue, we still have many of the same values but yet we have some issues that i know will never be fully resolved.

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  Sentinel

  No one likes to be "left". In a close relationship, it is one of the worst hurts there is. You list lots of things you think you've "missed" and you probably have; but you also say you still love your wife.

  Many people get bored with marriage. Marriage has to be worked at constantly, and its a give and take on many levels. You both deserve to be happy, but would you really be happy without her in your life. Sure, you might enjoy that initial "freedom", but afterwards, you may have regrets. Sometimes, we just can't "go back" in life.

  I believe there are people on this forum who are married to mates who are still very active with JW's. When two people truly love each other, even that obstacle can be overcome. Please think about this fully before you make your decision. Your wife may come to see things through your eyes and leave the JW's at some point. If you still have that deep love for her, take your time and discuss all your options as a couple. If your relationship is worth saving, I believe you should try before shipping out.

  Freedom from marital ties leaves you wide open, but sometimes, it is a very lonely road as well...

  /<