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hello..........oh dear.. into the lair of the apostates i tread!.........
Scooby,
Hello and Welcome here!
There are lots of United Kingdom posters here, so you should feel right at home.
I am from Manassas, Virginia in the USA.
I always enjoy making new friends. Hope you will take some time and let us know a little more about you and your experiences.
Love and Light,
Sentinel/Karen
i just wanted to say hello and that i think it's nice to find a place where i can express myself if/when i need/want to, although i feel pretty timid about posting.
A BIG WELCOME TO YOU NILFUN
The nicest thing about this Forum is that you can hang out here whenever you want. You can read, you can post a thread of your own, and you can post replies.
Everyone has something they need to "get out" so feel free to vent your most heartfelt expressions, ask questions, or simply comment.
We are your friends. Until you express your experiences, we don't really know you. By posting we learn more. I look forward to learning more about you in the days to come.
Be brave. Jump right in.
Sentinel
i was raised with a bookbag in my hand.
every saturday and sunday our family was out in service.i vacation, temporary and auxillary and regular pioneered.
i never enjoyed it but did it because i was supposed to do it.
Actually, yes, there was a time that I truly enjoyed doing what I considered to be "God's Work". I kept detailed records and always returned and followed up. I had many Bible Studies going, and I even Pioneering for a full year after graduated HS. It was my life for many years.
I think it was that year that opened my eyes to many things. When I was in school, my studying was limited, but when I got out, I had more time. I always had questions that had gone unanswered, and my questions became an important issue with me, especially since they kept throwing in the word "apostate", with warnings of discipline. That didn't click right with me. Since when is it ever wrong to question?
In those early years, I had no fear. I spoke to all kinds of people. If they were mean or cruel, I shook the dust from my feet and moved forward. I believed it with all my heart, and preached the word with the urgency of the times, that is, the great war Armegeddon.
Oh, my how nieve I was in those days. But, I had a purpose in life and I was a serious JDub. When I was finally able to step back away from all of it, and see it for what it really was/is, I felt so betrayed and so used. I had wasted some of the best years of my life.
I'm sure that I'm not alone in those feelings.
Sentinel
not to get too deep of a "scary" subject, but wanted to hear opinions out there.. when taught at the kh, we were always told there is no such things as ghosts, but if there were one it was a demon.
i want to use that as an example to how dogmatic they are about so many things, that if they say it to be one way, then that is the truth period.. as it turns out, growing up, we had a ghost in our house.
don't laugh, it is true.
I cannot deny the paranorma, as I have had many personal experiences all through my life. When I was really young, I thought they were angels. Later on, when JW's entered our lives, I thought I'd share my "wonderful" experiences once when we were studying about heavenly creatures. To my utter shock and amazement, they said that I was having experiences with demons.
For me, this destroyed my internal beliefs of good things, and caused me a lot of mental anguish and harm. My experiences continued, but I kept them secret. I stopped telling my mom or my sisters. That was difficult to do, because I began to feel like perhaps I really was "demon possessed". All of that crap the JW's put into my head messed me up.
Anyway, I try never to judge another person. If they tell me this or that happened, I believe them. Many times, there are just no answers to the things that occur. I know the difference between the "dark and the light", and the good and the bad. Only the fear ever made me feel "bad", and that fear was placed upon me by the borg. I am free now. Today, I am much more at peace with everything, and I am aware of the universe and the wonder of it, and that I am just a mere human being and there is so much more "out there".
Love and LIght,
Sentinel/Karen
just read the posts about dissassociating.
wondering what the advantages/disadvantages are.. i myself had my meeting attendance drop about 1989. during this time, i found the truth about jws through books like those of raymond franz and never went back.
aside from my father trying to coax me back in, no other jw (elder or otherwise) has ever brought up the subject or hunted me down to make a decision.
Like you, I became very irregular. I didn't show up for my MS assignments in the last six months and didn't go in service or to any assemblies. This wasn't all that difficult, except that my father was finally showing interest and he couldn't understand why I was no active anymore. I never was the type of person that could lie, and so I just made one excuse after another. Mom caught on, but kept quiet for awhile. But, then her nature is to control, and so she couldn't help herself by messing in my personal life. Dear old dad just didn't show much interest in me at all, ever, so I didn't expect any big turnaround. Anyway, he studied and got baptised just to please my mother as their marriage had hit really rocky ground. None of it lasted long.
I had already learned what df'g was all about, as it happened to me in 1968, for commiting fornication ONE time. I confessed and pleaded for help, but they showed no mercy. I was to be an example for all the other teenagers and young adults. That's another story.
When I went back, it was only because I'd married and had a child, and wanted my child to have a relationship with family and friends I'd known since I was thirteen. I had so many doubts, but just did what I thought was best at the time. I stayed in for another ten years and then just couldn't do it anymore. I didn't believe it. I felt like I was living a lie and I didn't know who I was anymore. I was frightened of "the world", but just decided to "get off the merry-go-round".
When I made the decision, there was no hiding it from my mother, who took it upon herself to DA me. She spread the word and it went like wildfire. Suddenly, even though I had not been disciplined nor df'd nor DA'd in any of the normal processes that go on.(Anyway, they had no grounds, except that I had confessed to mom that I couldn't believe it anymore.) I got no shepherding calls during the long years when my husband abused me and I had very difficult times. They gave me no warm brotherly love, and for that fact, only a few sisters got close to me after I began missing meetings. They were afraid, I suppose.
Anyway, I guess if you can just slide away and not have to deal with the stigma of being labeled, I congratulate you. I just figure that sooner or later, the ones you are close to, will understand what your irregularity really means. If they keep quiet, fine. But, usually, there is just one who can't, and it is that one who brings it all down. Personally, I just wanted to get it all over with and get on with my life. They had already messed up my own family so much, and we were dysfunctional to begin with.
I wish you the best. Take care of yourself. We can help here. Stop by whenever you like.
Love and Light,
Sentinel/Karen
hi everybody.. this is my first post.
i have been reading the forums for some time, but have not posted til now, as it brings painful memories.. my experience with the jw's began in 1967, when my mother was killed in a car crash, and my father married a jw six months later.
we were a ''blended family''.
WELCOME, LITTLE WITCH, AND THANK YOU FOR YOUR POST.
When you mentioned about the demons and the nightmares, I zipped right back to my childhood, and even years later, when I was frightened to death of the dark and everything the JW's labeled as from Satan.
Now, when I go to sleep, I like it very dark, with no lights on at all. I even cover up the light on the VCR in the BR and my clock. I allow the dark to comfort me now and I sleep like I never used to. It took a long time to get past all that.
What a horrible experience you had, losing your mom, and then having to deal with a "wicked" stepmother. It sounds to me like she really wasn't strong enough to decide things for herself, and so she blamed everyone around her for how miserable her life was. She is messed up big time.
Families become so weird while in the borg, and more weird when they are "fence sitting" and even more "weird" when one of their own leaves, while they can't manage to get out. So they just hurt and blame and shun and abuse. It's all so very un-christian. So very un-loving, isn't it?
Well, now you are out and making new friends and growing stronger. This is a really great place to be, among people who truly do understand. You can vent, you can question, you can comment, or just read. I will look for your posts in the days to come.
Love and Light,
Sentinel/Karen
i had this posted in another topic and it kinda got buried, so i thought i would create a thread all my own!.
re: poll: new to this board?
please sign in here!
Hi Leslie,
I'm glad your here and posting your story. As I read your post, the words just sounded so familiar, so much like the rest of us, only in a different way, your own unique experience.
One thing you said, about wanting to "be normal" really clicked with me. I know that I was emotionally damaged, probably long before I ever became a JW (when I was fourteen). Becoming part of the borg just kept me in the subserviant, low self esteem lifestyle that I knew so well. I wanted to belong, to feel a part of things, but I felt so separate, so different. I didn't know what "normal" was and it took me forever to figure it out. Well, not forever, but a very long portion of my life.
Things are good for me now. Not perfect, but good, and I can live quite happily with that. I've lost a lot, but I've also gained a lot. Life sure does hand us a bunch of crap now and then, and we just have to get strong and become the people we were meant to be.
It will be nice to have another new friend here. I went to the other site and printed it out to read later.
Take care,
Sentinel/Karen
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but i finally posted my bio, if anyone wants to read it.
tink =:o)edited by - tinkerbell4125 on 27 august 2002 17:39:36.
Thanks for posting Tink's bio. I didn't know where to look, and thought I was really dumb, since everyone was posting replies. Duh
Gosh Tink.....((((hugs)))) Much of your bio sounds like mine: ie, Domineering, abusive father. Domineering and abusive first husband. Total lack of any help or direction from elders. I got out too. Then my husband killed himself....
But hey, look how far we've come. We're alright you know. Despite all the shunning that we still endure, and the great loss of friends and family, it is the price we have to pay for freedom from the borg. We just have to try hard to replace those people with others who love us unconditionally. Sounds like you have a supportive mate in CCRyder, and you have so much in common.
Take Care.
Sentinel
we were on our way into wollongong last night to see our youngest son in the annual schools choral thingo and went to sit down near a pile of abandoned newspapers (the best way to get a free paper .
when we were about to get off the train, we found another watchtower, dated february, 1989. this one had the publisher's name on the top.
obviously she was following this advice: "do you make it a point to write your name and address in your personal copies of the publications?
An interesting thread.
Whenever I come across anything left behind that has a persons private information on it, I often wonder if I'm supposed to contact them. Of course, that depends on the item found. If it were something that I know they'd miss, I'd certainly try to return it.
Things happen for a reason, and obviously you have given this some thought. If you could locate her address somehow, you could opt to let her know that you are free from the JW bondage now, and it is great. Let her know about the sites on the net that help JW's who are having lots of questions. Bring up the major issues of late, SilentLambs, the UN, the blood issue, and perk her mind to think about these things. She may be a very nice person, who is just needing a bit of a nudge.
Well, just my thought. You never know.
Sentinel
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are westerners the evil of the world?.
western lands have gleefully exploited the worlds resources over the past 200 years.most of us have taken advatage of what our economies have offered to us.but has and does our life style not only ruin the earth but ensures that other countries remain pour.. the goods we demand and are used to having ,have a cost to the environment .we want them cheap , this ensures low wages where big western companies can get cheap labour.the size and power of western business means that pourer countries cant grow economically.the big western business are so powerful that they earn more money than entire countries.. suvival of the fittest has taken its toll on mankind while we live in comfort the majority of earth inhabitants don't.how much is our fault?
My feeling is that yes, perhaps there are quite a few people in the more affluent cultures, who waste and squander.
But, it is also true that we are also very generous and willing to share. The affluent cultures became that way because they worked hard for it. It wasn't handed to them on a platter.
We cannot help the culture that we were born into. We strive to have the things that we feel make us safe and healthy, and yes, lots extra for fun. We have our homes, our cars, our clothes, our food, our health care, and on and on. But, we work very hard for these things. The opportunities have been presented, and they have been grabbed up. There is nothing wrong with that.
It is really unfair to compare cultures. There are many who could not live like we do, and would not want to. People want to have their own way to do things, and cultures differ for that reason. It is not always about money.
As with everything regarding the societies of men, there has been no book recorded to let us know how best to care for this planet. Therefore, we have done our damage to it along the way. I don't believe this is entirely our fault. Once we realize the damage, we do try to do things to fix it. Granted, some things are beyond fixing, but do we have control anyway?
I believe that all things are working towards a conclusion that we do not understand. Only our creators of the universe understand the whole plan.
So, to answer the question. In my opinion No, Westerners are not the evil of the world.
Sentinel
