Posts by Sentinel

6

I remember

by ivoryroses4u in

i was 13 at the time that my only brother and his new wife introduced jehovah's witnesses to my family.. it was christmas time and we as a family were coming together to celebrate as we had done for as along as i could remember.. my brother said that him and his family would no longer celebrate and that we could discussed it at a later time... i was so upset.. my brother throwing away something that was so important too me...well i needed to know.. so my sister-in-law took me to my bedroom and showed me where we as christian shouldnt celebrate a holiday that is not of god.. again i was so upset and confused..... later the blood issue came up..my mother and father was upset by the thought that if anything happend to my niece and nephew that they would go to court to make sure they were taken care of.. and i told my mom why shouldnt she find out what they are being taught and then she would have grounds to fight if she had too...3years later my mother and father became a jw.... i struggled with this.. i never felt worthly of jehovah and his love.. i was so bad of a teenager.. so into the world.. how could he love me.....at 16 i was hooked on cigerettes and wanted to quit... i went to my parents and they went to the elders of their congregation.... one of the elders agreed to speak to me.. wheni went to the meeting i poured out my heart to this man.. and what he told me is that he could use me for time because i wasnt baptised... i was so hurt and turned off .. that it took many years and tears before i could get over that insult... years pass quickly.. and i am now in my 30's .

i just came out of an abusive relationship and was then practicing wicca... i was in a battered woman shelter.. and met a woman of the christian faith.. .

she gave me a book that talked about spiritual abuse.. here i was feeling abused and used and this book told me because i wasnt sharing god with my children that i was committing spirirtual abuse against them.. i got so scared i called up the local kingdom hall and started a study with one of the elders wife.. it didnt take to long to quit smoking and dedicate my life to jehovah... i was bapitised 5 months later and my oldest daughter bapitised a month after me.. life was great.. except i still felt as if i wasnt doing what i should for jehovah.. i was being told that i needed to get off welfare.. get a job.. when i did.. it was with a store that had catholic backing.. because it was tied to the beast.. i was made to quit as not to stumble a sister.. my daughter was working the field for 40 hours a week.

Sentinel

Hello IvoryRose, and welcome with open arms!

Oh, yes sweetie, there is a beautiful life out here, and it's full of true love and compassion. It will just take a bit of time to heal.

You have been programmed into one of the most cultish groups around. Naturally, you are having left over guilt and problems with certain issues.

Remember not to be too hard on yourself. You are worthy to be loved and you have a whole network of friends ready to be here for you as you make your journey. You don't have to do this alone, like I did, and so many others.

Love,

Sentinel/Karen

24

Dream of Going Back

by professor in

jw
friends

i awoke from sleep about a half hour ago from a dream in which i returned to the witnesses.

i had become so upset from losing my family and friends that i decided to return and seek reinstatement even though secretly in my heart i did not believe (i was trying to fool the elders).. i awoke from the dream with illusions of actually following through with this idea.

it took me about 5 minutes to arrive at reality.

Sentinel

Hi Jack,

Nice post reply.

I've had those "nightmares" too. They seem so real. I'm so glad when I wake up and find I dreamed all of it....but, in a way, I did get to "associate" with friends and family through the dreams, so that was kind of nice.

What really got me to leave entirely in the first place, was that I felt god could read my heart. And, my heart had not been a JW for a very long while. So, I thought I was being a hypocrite and needed to make a stand. I was living a lie.

At the time, of course, I still was feeling the "control" of them, and the guilt for being an "evil apostate" was too much. Making a decision was the only thing I could do. I was trying to be outwarding honest with my inward heart. It felt really good to be true to my own feelings, but it still took me some twenty years more to resolve all of the crap.

Sentinel/Karen

10

A Birth "Date" Wish From Mom...

by Sentinel in

jw
friends

happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me.

today is my birthday!

i am a happy 56 years (young), thank you.. guess who called me the very first thing this morning?

Sentinel

Hi Friends,

Perhaps the comment about the Pendilum has validity, as she has done this before. But, mom is 78, so if she does this for as long as it lasted the prior time, that would be twelve years. With her health, I doubt very much if she lives to be 90.

I suppose that's why it seems to be so final...

She is dying a premature death...

Sentinel

15

A Week Later; I'm Still Confused.......

by Sentinel in

well, it's been one week since mom called to tell me that she is reverting back to a previous behavior from 1981, called "hard line shunning".

this is after some ten years now, of having communication with me in a restrictive manner.

(well, as "normal" as it could be for us anyway.

Sentinel

Thanks Everyone,

I suppose I'm just looking for support and love. There is nothing worse to me than this type of rejective.

I wish there was a way to reach mom, but she is also more than 1,000 miles away from me physcially. I cannot reach her by phone, nor by mail.

There is just no way--even if I lived next door to her--that I would compromise my own sanity, to visit any KH to "hide" under a ruse of "interest". Guess I'm just not James Bond Girl material.

Sentine/Karen

16

"Free" Home Bible Studies

by Farkel in

this phrase has been part of the watchtower landscape since i can remember, so that spans a half-century.

dubs say it like it really means something special.. ever know any other christian faith that actually charged for home bible studies?

ever know any other christian faith that charged for books for that free home bible study(tm)?.

Sentinel

Hi Farkel,

You are so correct. A couple months back I saw this ad on TV from the Mormons. It said that they would send out a free copy of their Mormon Book to anyone who asked and they gave the phone number. They specified there would be absolutely no obligation.

Because I had not actually read their rendition, I was curious. (Believe me, it is just a reading exercise--a quest to understand some of the worlds larger religions.) I called the number and this sweet young girl answered. She wanted to know why I called and I briefly told her. She asked for my religious background, so I told her. JW's really perked her curiosity. She said she had been "born" a Mormon and has known nothing else her entire life. But, that she was very happy in her little Mormon cacoon. I simply took the opportunity and explained to her that she owed it to herself to be on the "outside" for awhile, so she could "look from another perspective".

Well, bottom line, she asked me if I wanted the book mailed or delivered in person. I was very adamate that it be mailed. Done deal. I waited, and I waited for the book to arrive. On two different occasions, two smartly dressed young Mormans showed up at our front door, and on those two occasions, I did not answer the door. After waiting another week or so, someone from their organization called me and said they had been trying to deliver the book but no one was at home.

I explained that I did not wish to have a conversation with a Mormon, just wanted their FREE book. If they couldn't do as their ad said, then they were misrepresenting themselves. I was assured that this was "just a mistake". Two weeks later, I finally got the copy in the mail.

Religions are very costly. They take your mind, your money, your offspring and your soul. If that's FREE, then I'm damaged more than I thought.

Sentinel/Karen

7

Is it ethical to pay a ransom?

by hippikon in

jw
friends

is it ethical to pay a ransom?.

in recent times tourists, foreign consultants, etc have been kidnapped for ransom by rebels and self interest groups.

some areas the major income is from kidnapping for ransom.

Sentinel

And let us not forget.........they are to wait "on god". That would resolve them of having to pay any ransom.

If god doesn't do anything, then it's "gods will". If they are freed, than "bless god and the org" because god freed them. They've got it covered both ways.

Sentinel/Karen

3

Happyman

by Nordic in

jw
friends

happyman are you not very dizzy beacuse you have been riding the scarlet beast as a member of the un for 10 years with out knowing it?.

Sentinel

Hi There,

I'm trying to understand your thread here. By "Happyman", do you mean the WTBTS? In that case, you are very correct in your scenario.

One thing though.......I believe they have known it the whole time.

Sentinel/Karen

9

MIND RAPE?

by bay64me in

i read something recently, possibly, (no probably) here, on the subject of mind rape.

my encounter with the jws was kind of self inflicted, i.e.

i was not brought up in it.. i am sort of coming to the conclusion, that is meaning, that with my association with the witnesses and reading here, that those that were introduced to this particular form of mind control later on in life, seem to be more adversly affected mentally than those that have the misfortune of being 'brought up in the faith'.

Sentinel

Hi GB

Your post reply is excellent and my sentiments exactly. We were members of a gang. We didn't know any better. Then we decided to think for ourselves instead of being controlled. Suddenly, we found that the gang was not for us. But, being a gang, they don't want to let us go. They fight for control, and dangle our friends and family as blackmail. We cannot let them win!

Individuals have to make their own choices about what they will do. Human beings learn as they experience life. We are "tested" in so many ways simply by existing. If we care enough about ourselves, we will do all we can to remove ourselves from their influence, and we will try to help loved ones that are left behind.

Some of us have had an exceptionally rough road, apart from the JW experience. You and I know what that is like. It's like a double-whammy. But, to have freedom to live our lives to the end, not in fear and guilt, but in joy and understanding, has got to be worth all the pain we have endured.

I always try to read your posts, as I know the message will be worth the time.

Love, Light, and Healing,

Sentinel/Karen

24

Feeling pretty grateful right about now

by bigboi in

jw
friends

well, i guess u can say that i've dodged the proverbial bullet.

now only if i could've dodged that damn rim yesterday!.

yesterday at work a tire and rim application that i had been workin on came apart under about 60 lbs of pressure and smacked me right in the face.

Sentinel

((((Bigboi))))

You were indeed very fortunate. Machines can break down and go haywire and if you happen to be nearby can cause great damage, even death. I've heard about this very incident before! Very dangerous, but also very unpredicatable.

I'm so glad that you aren't severely and permanently injured. Glad to hear that you have supportive family and friends who understand what true love and concern is all about.

Yes, JW's taught and still teach that people "in the world" are evil and don't know how to love. While their light grows dimmer, ours grows brighter.

Feel better soon!

Sentinel/Karen

30

HI! This site is a blast!

by doorboy00 in

jw
friends

i just wanted to say that i'm having a blast reading all the posts.

i stumbled upon this site because i was curious to see what the jehovah's witnesses have to say about september 11th and instead i've been laughing at the top ten's and such.

i was priveleged?

Sentinel

WELCOME. GLAD YOU LIKE THE SITE. SIMON WORKS VERY HARD TO MAKE IT A GOOD PLACE TO VISIT. WE LAUGH, WE CRY; WE ARE JUST NORMAL HUMAN BEINGS TRYING TO HELP EACH OTHER "GET REAL".

Love and Light,

Sentinel/Karen