Posts by Sentinel

21

When It Rains, It Pours.......

by Sentinel in

just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-jw family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall.

they will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up.

this is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

Sentinel

(((Thank you, everyone))) Your kind words and hugs and love are very important to me. Sassy, what you said might be true. She did know about my husband's upcoming surgery. My brother told me the reason she gave him for not contacting her three daughters: "I didn't want to worry them". Perhaps this is true, but she still has two other daughters to consider. I am the oldest.

I have continued to write her cards and letters, and have not heard back from her since last summer in writing. She used to send me a loving card periodically. She called me in early March to let me know she had moved and that her health had taken a real dive.

Well, the only thing I can do is the best that I can do. I have to keep my resolve to "let it be". This is what she wants. It would truly be heartbreaking for her to go into surgery and not survive, without having spoken to all her children. The rules as she sees them through JW eyes, will not allow her to express her love for her own flesh. But, something inside her must want this too, or else she would resist and question.

/<

21

When It Rains, It Pours.......

by Sentinel in

just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-jw family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall.

they will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up.

this is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

Sentinel

Oh, Jgnat,

If only it were that simple. But my mom lives over 1,000 miles away. My husband begins his pre-op tests this Friday, and surgery is Monday. His operation is very serious, and I could not leave him to go and be with someone who would no doubt reject me and cause me grave emotional upset. My first concern is my husband.

I too, have this feeling in my heart..but, I suppose I will have to find the strength and stamina to "let go". This is the way she wants things to be. My heart would never allow me to be so calous to my child, but she seems to have no problem ever, treating her children the way she does. And she calls this "love".

Perhaps this evening, I will just go ahead and gather up all the strength I can and try to reach her by phone. It will be very emotional, and I have not been too well myself lately. I will think on it and make my decision later in the day.

/<

21

When It Rains, It Pours.......

by Sentinel in

just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-jw family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall.

they will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up.

this is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

Sentinel

Just got news yesterday, indirectlyly from another non-JW family member, that my mom is going to have heart surgery afterall. They will replace a valve and do a triple by-pass to try to fix her up. This is such surprising news for me, especially at this time.

For months the family was on a rolley-coaster of emotion, with her former operation date set for last December. Then at the last minute she declined to have her valve replaced and the by-pass surgery she desperately needs. She would of course decline blood, and her doctor at the time said a blood count of only "12" made it way too risky for him to proceed. Still, it was her decision.

Now, it seems, she may be having the surgery the same time my husband is having his. They are giving her daily iron shots, whereas before, they were giving her a shot every two weeks. Word is, although she is not presently in the hospital, she is at a critical stage. She is extremely weak and will die soon without the surgery. She gave up her apartment a couple months ago, and moved in with her JW sister. I knew she was growing very weak, since they had to stop the iron shots she was getting because her surgery in December was canceled.

I just never expected to have to deal with this again. And, it hurts that she never called to let me know, even though this was a "medical issue", which always before, she has felt able to discuss with her children that are no longer JW's.

Ahhh, when it rains, it pours. I have no control over any of this. When I called my loving Aunt Elsie yesterday, she is the one who inadvertantly told me. (She had been given the news by another Aunt) She felt so bad for me that I didn't already know just how critical everything is with my mother,etc......my dear and only remaining parent, who will be 80 on the last day of July, if she lives to see it.

...I ache to just put my arms around her. I have only those memories of good times, of laughter and joy, mostly from childhood, and being with her, and near her, feeling her arms about me, and listening to her read my favorite stories, and long walks on country roads that weren't paved, and covered with honeysuckle. Life was so much simplar for all of us then.

/<

17

Treating Fibromyalgia with a Serotonin Uptake

by Sentinel in

i've been suffering with fibromyalgia since about 1986, but was not diagnosed until 1997. for the longest time the only course of treatment (since there is no cure) is the use of strong pain killers.

i opted not to take that route.

someone recently posted something on here regarding this malady, and it got me to thinking and doing more research.

Sentinel

I would have to say that in the three years since getting my own home computer, I have been able, not only to find this forum, but to venture out in all areas of exploration. I did look up Fibromyalgia several times and found some good sites initially, but kind of left it by the wayside, because I was doing so much other stuff. Now I wish I'd just taken the time to do my research. Perhaps I would have gotten some relief. But everything happens for a reason. I had begun to take steps to remove toxins from my body--stopping aspartame completely, and going off some HRT medications, and also deciding to stop taking daily Prilosec. Doctors will continue to refill prescriptions and rarely "listen" to patients. My doctor was very aprehensive when I discussed stopped my HRT. Then I began reading about all the dangers and was glad I did. I have never regreted it.

The Prilosec was something I took for my ten "healed" ulcers, and because of so much pain and agony, I just kept taking them. The doctors never discussed with me that there could be an additional side affect of affecting my muscles and ligaments. Gosh, that's all I needed. As soon as I researched and found that out, I stopped altogether. There were no side affects from stopping. No stomach problems at all. Seems they had me taking them years past the point where they were even necessary.

We have to listen to our bodies, get knowledgeable about ourselves, and then begin to make the changes. If our doctor isn't supportive, find a doctor who will "listen". I can see now that perhaps back then, when I was going off those other daily medications, it would not have been the time to go on a new medication. In fact, I was so down on medicine, that I may not have even been open to my doctor suggesting it. Now, with these other medications long out of my system, I can focus on the positive and negative of Prozac. If I have side-affects, I know they come from the Prozac and nothing else.

Richie, that site is a good one. I always enjoy reading personal experiences of those who "know" what this is all about.

Dede, I sure do know what you mean about the way it affects every aspect of our life. The times that I pushed myself and did not let others know how bad I was. The migraines that lasted days, and sometimes even an entire week to ten days. (((( Ahhhh, I do know.)))) Years ago, when my doctor of those days thought everything was "in my head" tried putting me on Valium and Immiprimene, and I was like a zombie. Didn't stay on those very long at all. They were just covering up the real problem, of which I was still in the dark about. They say our pain "mimics" real conditions, like broken bones, twisted muscles, arthritis, ..and yes, even heart attack. So, our many trips to the ER, where they found "nothing" was terrible for us to endure.

I think treatment is very individual, depending upon age, other meds, and circumstances. Elavil worked for you, but you gained weight. It is such an oxymoronic condition that we have to live with. Do this to feel better, but then this is what will happen to you. I know side affects present themselves, but some just have more than others. Finding the right drug is the key. This is my second day, yet I sense that Prozac is already adjusting my serotonin. OR, perhaps it is just the initial HOPE that this will work for me. Whatever, I do feel better today, and I like feeling this way.

I know this thread will wind down and end, but I do hope that we will all use the PM here or email to let each other as to how we are doing. I'm very interested in each and every one here, and we are especially tied together because of our problems with FM.

This will be my last post on this thread!! Thanks Everyone!! I'm sending lots of love and lots of hugs.

Karen

15

Preaching Help

by bimp5 in

jw
friends

.

i get nervous or shy sometimes when the opportunity to speak about jehovah and his organization arises.

any tips or suggestions?

Sentinel

Are you posting this as a gesture to show your sense of humor?

If you have been reading here, you must realize this site would not offer you help with "preaching". You will need to locate another full-fledged JW approved site to do so.

Most all of us here are out or trying to get out of the organization and still keep our emotional balance. The labeling, shunning, fear and guilt are terrible things to have to live with. We are helping each other to cope and to understand that it is love and compassion that is the most important thing--not an organization of people.

You are welcome here. Perhaps you are here by accident.....on the other hand, perhaps your heart has led you to this place.

/<

17

Treating Fibromyalgia with a Serotonin Uptake

by Sentinel in

i've been suffering with fibromyalgia since about 1986, but was not diagnosed until 1997. for the longest time the only course of treatment (since there is no cure) is the use of strong pain killers.

i opted not to take that route.

someone recently posted something on here regarding this malady, and it got me to thinking and doing more research.

Sentinel

I want us all to be not only "survivors", but so much more. I want us all to have improved quality of life. I am also a great believer in positive affirmation and healing; but there are times when we need more help and we must get it for ourselves. Prozac is not a cure for FM, because there is no cure. But, increasing serotonin levels will be a good thing and it will help my overall anxiety. Usually, I can manage to deal with one or the other, but together, the package is just too heavy.

There is so much information available--and scary sites that condeme Prozac as an evil drug that is very dangerous. I agree that the treatment is very individual in nature. Doctors bear a responsiblity to screen patients carefully and monitor such medications. Some medications I would never take because of the risks and the side affects. I don't tolerate medicine very well, even with over the counter stuff. I have a low tolerance. I don't want to take one medication and have it cause something that I need to take another pill for.

I think we all just want to feel better, but we don't want to compromise ourselves and our choices in doing so. (Curiously, our adrenal glands play a big part in all of this as well.) If we constantly react to stress and adrenalin is constantly being produced, this can greatly affect our health. Our body operates on a rythem of cycles that most are not even aware of. And, we are affected by the atmosphere, the earth's magnetic field, planets, moon, sun, etc.

/<

17

Treating Fibromyalgia with a Serotonin Uptake

by Sentinel in

i've been suffering with fibromyalgia since about 1986, but was not diagnosed until 1997. for the longest time the only course of treatment (since there is no cure) is the use of strong pain killers.

i opted not to take that route.

someone recently posted something on here regarding this malady, and it got me to thinking and doing more research.

Sentinel

Hi Talesin,

As a matter of fact, I have also noticed that my "flare-ups" can be traced to "traumatic life events" (death, suicide, loss of child, abandonment, shunning, labeling, separation, new job, ---just stress, good and bad. For the most part, until this suicide event occured, I was doing well physically. I did not suffer from FMS. But, when it hit me, I didn't know what it was, and apparently neither did the doctors. I'm so glad it has gain recognition and is accepted as a valid illness. Being in so much dibilitating pain, and not having a reason for it is very disconcerting to say the least.

I am a detailed controled person and when things are going great, I'm usually doing okay, but when something happens, my anxiety level streaks out of proportion. Even when I was a child, I was anxious, but as far as I know, I never had any problems with writing or schooling. I did however, believe I was two people when I was young. I was the quiet little girl, who did as she was told and never caused trouble, and then I was the more experimental girl, who did quite extraordinary things and was not timid or shy. I would fluxuate between the two. The outgoing girl would present herself "outside" of the home. This is when I was quite young--as far back as first grade--and then I believe that confusion was replaced with a different form of coping.

I believe the one traumatic event that catapulted me into FMS was my first husband's suicide and the subsequent loss of my only child to "his" parents custody. I changed during that time and lost confidence in myself. I became very depressed and sad. I felt sorry for myself and cried a lot in those days. I was at the same time dealing with the shunning from my parents, and I felt like I was drowning. I went through periods of time where I lived with only about four hours of exhaustive sleep every night. I sought help from doctors who "overprescribed" medications, and I became leery of this experimental treatment. I was still very much in the throws of the fear and guilt of the JW event in my life as well. I saw a few counselors along the way--provided by my job--but it wasn't until about fifteen years later, that I got the right counselor, who did a world of good for me for a six month period of time. I would say, that in those sessions, I learned more about "me" and my perceptions of the world around me than ever before. I improved a great deal in all areas of my life. Came out of the fog without medications, and found my spiritual connection. Things seemed to be coming into line, except that I had this FMS malady to deal with.

They say the FMS runs in families, and I would certainly agree. My mother and one of my sisters suffers with it.

I would also agree that chocolate is truly a maricle!!

/<

37

Have any of you tried...

by codeblue in

.

"sleepy time tea" to help you get to sleep?.

codeblue

Sentinel

Yes, I have tried it, but didn't notice any significance for me. I usually like Plantation Mint, but earlier in the day. If I drink any tea before bedtime, I'm visiting the potty way too much.

/<

51

Jehovah's Witnesses Have a High Mental Illness Level

by Bryan in

now we know what the problem is...

scroll down...

jehovah's witnesses"faith of our fathers: part one, were the early christians jehovah's witnesses?

Sentinel

When one becomes co-dependent upon someone or something that is defective, then in time, they too become infected.

/<

17

Treating Fibromyalgia with a Serotonin Uptake

by Sentinel in

i've been suffering with fibromyalgia since about 1986, but was not diagnosed until 1997. for the longest time the only course of treatment (since there is no cure) is the use of strong pain killers.

i opted not to take that route.

someone recently posted something on here regarding this malady, and it got me to thinking and doing more research.

Sentinel

Oh Dede, you and I have much in common. What a wonderful post you did here. Though I am no longer raising children and am past fifty, I've had this just like you "before it even had a name". I know my experiences in life have been challenging, and I have not always handled them well. I force myself because of my compulsive nature, and I feel like I have to be in control all the time--I have to perform--I have to be there--I have to, have to, have to. That is a great pressure to carry personally. They say we inherit much of this, and I can truthfully say that it does run in my family history on both sides. Double whammy!! Thanks mom and dad!!

I too am very sensitive to medications, weather and "environment". Most things we cannot control. I have done so much to manage myself. I've gone the whole route of exercise, meditation, regular sleep times, yoga, etc.--and although this has helped me, I have to admit, I felt pretty helpless that my quality of life was in such bad shape. I suffer mostly from periods of great anxiety, especially so with my husbands surgery coming up, etc. I will be the main caretaker, and we have only one family member close by. It seems though that my life has been full of very stressful events.

There is great encouragement to be found, in my spirituatl connection, and with my connection to folks here on this forum. I would have to say that I have been a "sufferer" in this life, faced with many chaotic situations. Being abandoned and shunned should never happen, and for us, I believe it is just an added burden we bear. Some people just "feel" things more. I am very sensitive by nature, but in turn, very caring, loving and compassionate. We are sometimes the people who get stepped on and taken for granted the most.

The most potent pain medication I ever received from a doctor was Celebrex during an attack right when we had planned a vacation. It worked great, but then I had to go off it after two weeks. The balance of the time, like you, I endure excrutiating pain. My TMJ was so bad for a period of time, and kept recurring that I could barely talk or brush my teeth or eat--so I understand how painful that is. I do work full-time, and fortunately I have a job where I can sit during the day- I'm up and down, but I don't have to do manual labor. Unless the pain is lodged in my legs and back, this is a good job. Deep sleep is very rare with me. It is almost like a maricle, when I wake up, renewed and refreshed...perhaps once or twice in a year, if that. But, I'm not generally one to let things bring me to a hault. I am stubborn that way. Mostly, it is a fear inside, that if I do stop, I will never get going again....

Please keep a connection to me through the PM here. Today I notice that I have added weakness and tiredness, but am functioning fine from the first dose this morning. This should abate after a few days. By the time of his surgery on the 19th, I should be doing much better with my serotonin levels. Let's hope so!

Take care of yourself, as you have young children and I know how it is to be a busy mother. Mother's have to keep going no matter what! Be good to yourself. Sounds like you are managing your situation in a good and positive way. (we aren't crazy after all. )

Karen