Shaneliza

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Posts by Shaneliza

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  77

  Conditional love

  by noidea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  being raised a jw sometimes you feel you only know conditional love.

  you are only loved if you tow the line.

  i only have one thing to say,.

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  Shaneliza

  RealElder,
  I will tell you why I was Df'd. When I was 18, I realized that my life would never be my own. I would always have someone looking over my shoulder, and that I would have to be submissive to the male gender. One night I went out to a bar, with two girls I worked with. I casually mentioned it to my sister (who is a JW) the next day. That afternoon I had three elders show up at my door. (I had my own apartment, by this time.) They proceeded to sit across from me and questioned me fully about my life. Alot of their questions were of an intimate nature, and I was extremely uncomfortable. I was very intimidated by this, which is what I believe they were hoping for. But it also made me angry, so I began to miss meetings and stopped going out in service,(which I hated anyway.) Some time went by, I met the man I am now married to, and we lived together before we were married. Now I want you to tell me what horrible crime I committed. What terrible thing did I do that would justify the treatment I have received over the years? I know for a fact there are alot of JW's who sleep with their intended, before the wedding. They just weren't found out. At least I was honest about it.

  My decision to find happiness came with a huge price tag.
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  25

  sex advice please

  by hulphi in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  i wanted to start with a bang, so i have a question.. my girlfriend told me today that she doesn't mind me having sex with other women.

  i said,"i don't want an 'open relationship'" and she replied, "i know, i can't sleep with other men, but if you do that's ok".

  is this girl a lettuce leaf short of a picnic.

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  Shaneliza

  I agree with the others..I think she may have had an affair and now is trying to calm her guilty conscience. I suggest you have a sit down with her and find out what is REALLY going on.
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  77

  Conditional love

  by noidea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  being raised a jw sometimes you feel you only know conditional love.

  you are only loved if you tow the line.

  i only have one thing to say,.

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  Shaneliza

  Babykins,

  Thank you for your kinds words. It is always nice to know that there are people out there who understand what I have been through. It has been a long time since I've been out of the org., but the pain never truly goes away. No matter how old we get, we still need our parents. But I realized a long time ago that emotional blackmail is not a game I want to play. My freedom is worth this pain. Knowing my children have grown up in a non-judgemental atmosphere, and will never have to CHOOSE between their parents and their RIGHT to live their own lives, is what makes it easy for me to face each day.
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  13

  Does anyone else find this hypocritical?

  by Shaneliza in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm new to this discussion board, so this may have been covered before.

  i was raised in a jw family,(although i have been out for over 20 years) my mom and step-father are staunch believers.

  being good jw's, they are against all "pagan" holidays, yet my mom took advantage of the boxing day sales, and my step-father accepted his christmas bonuses.

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  Shaneliza

  I'm new to this discussion board, so this may have been covered before. I was raised in a JW family,(although I have been out for over 20 years) my mom and step-father are staunch believers. Being good JW's, they are against all "pagan" holidays, yet my mom took advantage of the boxing day sales, and my step-father accepted his christmas bonuses. If you strongly believe that christmas is wrong, then, wouldn't boxing day sales and christmas bonuses be wrong also? You can't have one without the other. My husband works with a JW, and the JW made his employers call the "christmas dance" the "Year-end dance" so that he could attend. I don't see what difference that makes. The dance was being held because it was christmas time.
  Does anyone else see something "off" with this???????
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  3

  Plato;Marx:Machiavelli----for Duns ;)

  by ladonna in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi duns,.

  i thought as a show of good faith.........and a taste of my "real" humor......i'd do a post just for you... enjoy,.

  ana .

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  Shaneliza

  WTBTS: The GB sent new light that all chickens must cross the road. The old light which previously stated that chickens must stay in the hen house, no longer applies.
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  77

  Conditional love

  by noidea in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  being raised a jw sometimes you feel you only know conditional love.

  you are only loved if you tow the line.

  i only have one thing to say,.

  1. 
  2. 
  3. 
• 

  Shaneliza

  Real Elder,

  Here is a list of what conditional love has made possible for me:
  1) My mother did not attend my wedding.
  2) My mother was not there at the birth of my children.
  3) I had no mother to turn to for advice when I was a new mom.
  4) My children have no relationship with their maternal grandmother.
  5) I have had no mother to share joys and sorrows with.
  6) My children wouldn't recognize my mother if they tripped over her on the street.
  7) I was hit by a car a over a year ago, (that has left me with a permanently damaged knee) conditional love has made possible that my mother has never visited or called to see how I am doing.
  Real Elder you can take your "conditional love" and shove it up your ass. There is no excuse for being coldhearted. Are you people made out of stone? Conditional love has made my mother choose between a cult and her children. Unfortunately, I lost.
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  28

  WEEKLY STRATEGIC UPDATE

  by You Know in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  there is no question about it, the world is rapidly heading toward its terminal tumult.

  with the foretold apostasy now fully underway, the stage is set for jehovahs ongoing controversy to be pressed to its ultimate conclusion.

  piece by piece, chunks of the underlying economy, the life blood of the present system of things, are falling away.

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  Shaneliza

  You Know,
  How many times has the WTBTS predicted the "end"? How many times have they been wrong? All the words that come out of your mouth are just the parroted ravings of the GB. It must be awful to live with so much fear and hate as you do. I'm grateful that I'm out of that cult, and no longer have to live with the dark cloud of repression hanging over me. I no longer have to live with "Big Brother" watching my every move. I feel pity for you, as you haven't a clue to what freedom of speech, freedom of thought, or freedom of choice means.
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  31

  Uh Oh! Now I've gone and done it. Warning: LONG

  by betweenworlds in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  here i was in happy-no one is really bothering me too much-lala land, until yesterday when i had to go and open my mouth.

  a pioneer sister from our hall emailed me to inquire what was preventing me from attending the meetings, and asked what was holding me back from going.

  (this is about the 5th or 6th email asking this question) welllllll, i guess i just reached a point where i couldn't pretend anymore.

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  Shaneliza

  Dear Betweenworlds,
  Your courage is amazing. Yes, you will very likely lose "friends" by your decision, but you'll make new friends, who will love you for WHO you ARE, not for what your religious beliefs are. Judging by the replies to your post, you have alot of real friends, here, who will support WHATEVER decision you make. That is what a true friend is all about. I've been out for over 20 years now, and I love the fact, that although I may not agree with what a friend's decision is, I can still associate with that person, I can still support that person, and I can still show love for that person. You see where I'm going with this? Liberation is a wonderful thing. You are going to experience a freedom you never thought possible. Good luck to you.
  Hang in there hon.
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  10

  whats a newbie

  by Chainsaw in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so um what is a newbie and why did i suddenly become one???

  oh well guess i've been called worse.

  so i'm new here checked it out for a couple of days though.

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  Shaneliza

  Hi Chainsaw,
  The JW "religion" is in reality a cult. They control every aspect of their members lives, even dictating what is "proper and normal" in the most intimate part of persons life, ie, sexual activity. If you are looking for spiritual guidance, you won't find it with them, as you wouldn't find it in any cult. Keep reading this discussion board and you'll find how much they've screwed with peoples lives, without a thought or care as to how their members would be affected.
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  3

  WHAT Kinda Light?

  by Big Jim in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what kinda light?.

  to all congregations united in jehovah's service, .

  the organization has been under a concentrated criticism lately for our position on new light.

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  Shaneliza

  BigJim,
  Absolutely hilarious!!! I thouroughly enjoyed your posting :D
  My son once told it it take seven minutes for new light to hit earth.
  Keep up the good work!!!