Posts by ShaunaC

24

Increased use of acronyms worries online boyfriend

by Naeblis in

jw
friends

increased use of acronyms worries online boyfriend.

"we used to have great conversations," phillip mudley reflects, " we'd talk about .

deathkilla: what's up??.

What now, withno PURPOSE?

by HomebutHiding in

jw
friends

it's a difficult thing, once having been a member of the elite, the chosen few, hand-picked by the almighty never to die, to wake up, suddenly or otherwise to the realization that all was a lie.

of course, when we were jws, we had a purpose in life, and that purpose, along with life itself was a forever kind of thing.

we were to live forever, and our existance was well-defined for us.

ShaunaC

As everyone else has confirmed, what you are going through is normal. We've all been there.

I was 24 when I left the Borg. I had always had my entire life planned out for me. Pioneer, marry, make until the Paradise. I had always been told what to do, by my father, then husband, and always by the congregation. When I left it all, I had no one. No friends, no family...nothing. I felt completely lost. Actually it was more like I had no idea how to just live. I felt so dumb when it came to making certain decisions or creating relationships. A number of things through the past few years has helped get me on my path.

One thing I have learned is that my purpose is no longer to get to a certain place ei. paradise. My purpose now is to learn as much as I can about myself while alive on this earth. Since I have no idea what comes after my death, I know that this is the time to rack up as many experiences as possible and live my life to the fullest. It's all about finding out what makes YOU happy. It's all about self-discovery. Something that will take my entire lifetime.

Don't be scared about this feeling of being lost. As time passes you too will find your place. Being "empty" only means you've cleaned house of the junk and are ready to fill it back up with people and experiences that are real. There's a wonderful world of possibilities out there. Instead of being scared of them, go for it with full force. (within your own bounds, of course)

Shauna

9

Story on freeminds.org

by joenobody in

anybody here have a chance to read jay walker's story on freeminds.org?

i just got through reading pages and pages of it.

i was keenly interested early on in the story and the astoundign things that happened in it.

ShaunaC

I read through Amazing's story just a couple of weeks ago and after doing so felt guilty that I had not done so earlier. It was truly amazing!!!

I also intend to follow his admonition to write to Ray Franz to thank him for all he's come forward with.

Thanks Amazing!

Shauna

42

Did you use drugs and go...INSANE!?

by refiners fire in

jw
friends

when i was 27 my brother held a bucks night party for my first marriage and we went to a strip joint.

de rigeure for the boys bucks night.

it was all a bit of a none event, so next night he brought around drugs to my house, marijuana.

ShaunaC

I think there are two possibilities for this reaction to pot...it was either laced with something or you are just one of those people who get ultra paranoid on pot.

My first real experience w/ pot was pretty funny, but not at the time. My boyfriend, Nick, had blown some smoke from his mouth to mine but I never felt anything from it. Then about a month later we went to some of his friends house, people I was just meeing for the first time. I took 5 hits of some chronic stuff. I sat on the couch and was tripping out. Going in and out of waves of really being there. After a while I knew I wasn't right so Nick told me to get up and get some water. But when I stood up the headrush really sent me.

Being that this was the first real drug experience I had after coming out of the Borg, I thoroughly thought I was dying. I began yelling at Nick to take me to the hospital because I was overdosing on pot. Nick chuckled because no one ever OD's on pot. He walked me around the block so the fresh air could clear my head.

I was crying hysterically and so embarrassed to have done this in front of his friends I demanded he take me home. I cryed the whole way home and vowed to never do pot again.

Of course, then I got home and had the most amazing sex of my entire life. And it all made sense. We laugh now that it was both the worst and best night of my life...all due to the same thing.

Pot has never had that affect on me since. In the early stages I felt the waves more but never much anymore. I do know many people who simply cannot do pot. They stay highly paranoid everytime they smoke it. I guess it depends on your makeup.

I personally am scared of hullucinating drugs. I've talked to freinds about acid and find it wierd that they think it's great to sit in front of a mirror and see yourself as 100 years old or with some gross stuff coming out of your head. I just don't think I could handle it. I do very occasionally drop E, did it this weekend home alone with Nick. It was super mild, to me anyway, Nick's a lightweight. It definitely not something I would do much. It had been 1 1/2 years since I had done some good E. But the 4 hours of intimacy w/ Nick was so well worth it.

But it is not to some people. Again, some people either have a different reaction than most or simply do not like the feeling.

30

Hi, I'm new to this site

by GarbageGirl in

jw
friends

i have been over at another board for quite some time now, but had heard so much about this place i figured i had better see what all the "hub bub" is about!

lol.

i just wanted to say hi before i started posting.

ShaunaC

Welcome GarbageGirl!

Shauna

12

Read This and You Will Feel Smarter!

by teenyuck in

jw
friends

this will definitely make you feel a lot smarter

question: if you could live forever, would you and why?.

answer: "i would not live forever, because we should not live forever,.

ShaunaC

Too funny! I'm passing this one around the office. Thanks, Puff!

Shauna

15

tha birds and tha beez - ADULT content

by bonovox in

ok, lets see if i can do this without getting carried away...lol.... allow me to pose a hypothetical situation:.

you have known john and jane for a couple of years now, and so far they appear to be the perfectly happy 'normal' married couple.

they seem totally into each other and when in public usually can't keep their hands off each other.

ShaunaC

I absolutely agree that you have to talk this over with your mate first. If you've never discussed the idea and this scenerio happens (happened) I would kindly thank them for their offer but that you need to discuss this first with your mate. Most couples that I've come across are very understanding. No one wants to break up marriages/relationships.

I've been in circumstances where we went home with a couple but I have no intention of playing with the man. I already have my man and am only interested in the woman. Just a few weeks ago this happened. The hot little thang encouraged me to play with her man, I nicely said no and continued to have my fun with her. Since her guy wasn't allowed to even touch me, Nick did not get involved with her. There was no problem. The guys watched us play and then we each went to our own men to finish the deal.

What I'm trying to get across is...first speak to your mate and set ground rules. And be prepared for those rules to bend depending on the situation and the feeling of the woman at that particular time.

Other than that...HAVE FUN!!!

Shauna

4

San Francisco ex-JW picnic

by Introspection in

saturday, june 22, 2002 from 12:00 noon until dusk - picnic for exjws in golden gate park, at lindley meadows, tables 12 & 13. bring along some food or (non-alcoholic) beverages.

for further details, email paul-henry thomasian at [email protected]

ShaunaC

Hey Intro...have you received any feedback regarding the picnic on the 22nd? I may be up in the City from Monterey that weekend.

Shauna

Edited by - ShaunaC on 11 June 2002 13:22:8

25

Do you consider yourself an ex-JW?

by Introspection in

i'm gonna go for the direct approach here.

it's kind of strange to identify yourself as an ex- anything, to define yourself using a former identity as a point of reference, one that is no longer.

in some cases you might use it to clarify your relationship, (i'm jane's ex-husband, or whatever) but again it gets weird.. i mean we don't think of ourselves as ex-kindergarteners or something do we?

ShaunaC

I think I'm seeing your initial question a little differently from everyone else.

I do identify myself as an ex-JW. When I first left it always became inevitable to tell someone new I met early on that I used to be a Witness. I found it hard to talk about any part of my life, whether it was not attending public high school cuz my parents wouldn't let me go to college cuz I needed to pioneer instead, or why I got excited as a 5 year old when celebrating my first Christmas or Halloween, or to explain why I had married one month after my 18th birthday, or to explain why my family wasn't in my life, without prefacing it that I was once a JW.

I tried for awhile to consciously try not to bring up the fact that I was an ex-JW. I actually yearned for that to not determine the boundaries of who I am as a human being. But I learned that it gave me a comfortable seat to sit in while meeting someone new. People are always fascinated about my life and the dynamics of my family relationships because of the Borg. It became an easy ice-breaker for conversation.

A second thing it did, and probably much more importantly...every time I would recount my story to someone new, I would always receive commendations and praise for my courage and strength for what I had gone through. It served to strengthen me in return and move me to continue my resolve to never get depressed (for too long anyway) over my situation but rather to savor my freedom and feel proud of myself for making decisions that I don't think my parents are brave enough to make. Getting that reaffirmation so early one when I had noone was so needed and helpful.

I have often wondered how long I will continue to use this to define me. I've only been out 3 1/2 years so I'm still racking up experiences and memories of my new life that will eventualy define me more accurately. But no matter where I go or how much I change, the simple fact will be that I will always be considered and consider myself an ex-JW. It makes up the largest part of who I am. Not the strongest part, but the largest part. Seeing people advidly post on the forum who have been out 20-30 years, tells me this might always be the case to some degree.

Each new experience that stands in such direct contrast to my old JW self is exemplified and becomes even more important because of that old life. I savor those things more so because I haven't always had those freedoms.

So instead of feeling bad or weak in some way for defining the base of who I am on the seemingly negative of being an ex-JW...I focus in on the positives of the person I've become and continue to grow to be because of the lessons I've learned since leaving that life. Thus saying proudly that I am an ex-JW shows just how far I've come. And that's awesome!!!

My 2 cents...

Shauna

42

Watching my parents age and die.....

by LDH in

jw
friends

i just posted this on teejay's thread, but in case some didn't read that thread i will repost it here, the enhanced version, because i believe it deserves its own thread.. recently, my parents visited with me.

(the great apostate, can you believe it?).

technically, they were here to visit my kids and husband, as i am df'd [8>].

ShaunaC

((((((((BIG HUG LISA)))))))))

That's all I can say or do. If i say anymore I'll become depressed about my own parents for the next few days. I understand completely!

Hugs,
Shauna