A couple of people here asked, so, I would like to share my story.
I got baptized at the age of 14 (Armageddon was coming any day). I got married at 22 (had to get married, otherwise I would have "fornicated"). I never liked Field Service and would often inflate my reported hours. And most of the hours I counted were talking informally to co-workers or non-believing family members.
I did the typical reaching out...you know, all the stuff that women are not worthy to do (*sarcasm*), like mics, sound, and Watchtower reader. I also participated in the privilege of Hall cleaning when it was my book study group's turn to clean (*cue the eye roll*).
In the beginning, my mom (now deceased) got baptized in 1982 (I think), my sister in 1983 (I think...LOL), me in 1994 (100% certain) and my older brother a few years after me (again, I think). I really don't remember the exact years.
My mom, sister and I became inactive shortly after my baptism. I started high school the same year I got baptized. I stayed inactive until about the age of 17. You see, my older brother decided to dedicate his life to God (the organization) after he graduated from DeVry (in Cincinnati, Ohio). He returned home and got on his holy high horse and got baptized and then asked me every meeting to join him. Gradually, I began to attend meetings again until the point of actually looking forward to it.
Next, I began cutting ties with my "worldly" friends and trying to make news ones at the Kingdom Hall. I tried making friends with three guys from a congregation close to my home: Mike, Maurice and some other guy. After thinking things were going well, and elder named Keith Monroe informed my new friends not to associate with me because I was a "womanizer". I was like, "Who? Me?". I explained to my new friends that, yes, I was inactive and, yes, I had girlfriends during high school and, yes, maybe I was seen at the bus stop kissing a girl now and then, but I wasn't a player. My new friends were like, ok, we understand. Then, they stopped hanging around me. Mike told me that Keith Monroe and his wife continued saying I was bad association. Hurt and kinda angry, I decided to call Keithy boy..Keep in mind at this time I was 18 years old!...His wife answered the phone and I asked her why she was saying bad and untrue things about me. She denied it. Then, I asked him and he denied it. Days/weeks later, I was told they were STILL talking crap! This time, I asked a P.O. to call Keith to ask him to stop talking about me. Keith and Mrs. Keith denied they were talking about me. Needless to say, Mike, Maurice and the other guy never accepted me...untillllllll...a few months later Keith went M.I.A. and left town with a pioneer lady. He got DFd and divorced and his wife was broken by it. Me? I cracked up laughing on the inside and said to Mike: "See? All this time he was talking about himself. HE was the womanizer, not ME". A few days after the news broke, I ran into Mrs. Keith pumping gas into her car. I walked up to her, said something like, "Hi, sister Monroe. How's everything at home?", smiled and kept walking. Her facial reaction was classic...a cross between shock, anger and sadness. My facial reaction?: One of redemption and satisfaction.
Eventually I made some great friends at my own congregation. In 1992, I got married. We never had kids because of the "Let's-wait-until-the-new-system" mentality many of us had at that time.
I was on cruise control until 2001. My marriage had many cracks and gaping holes. It was beyond repair. It was stale. It was dying. One evening my friend, Bill, came knocking at our door telling me he had something important to tell me. It was about a revelation regarding the WTBTS and the UN ( http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2001/oct/08/religion.world and http://www.theguardian.com/uk/2001/oct/15/religion.unitednations ). Immediately, I recalled the favorable Awake articles, specifically about Kofi Annan. Still, I was in denial. Plus, 9/11 happened just before this UN thing and I was utterly confused.
Kudos to Bill. He and his then-wife, Olive, bailed on the JWs almost without hesitation. Me? I faked it for 5 more years. I mostly believed it was the truth in the beginning but I couldn't shake my newly found doubts/questions. Each meeting was harder to endure than the next. It got to the point that I would walk out in the middle of a meeting, go sit in my car and listen to a baseball game (go Phillies). The meetings became mind-numbing. I began to see how fake everything was. I started to see the double-speak in the articles. Everything just became crystal clear.
I was making MAYBE 20% of the meetings by 2005. In 2006, I received a promotion at my job but it was across the country in Phoenix, Arizona. In one fell swoop I left my wife, the JWs and my life in Phildelphia behind. I hit the reset button: New job, new life, new friends.
I don't know if this link works, but here was my JW coming out declaration here on this site in 2002: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/36867/coming-out-party-who-wants-join-me
Until today I have never been DFd. I now live in Brazil. I have a baby on the way. I rarely even think about the JWs anymore. I've healed, fortunately. And, for some, complete healing will never take place. Life is the greatest it has ever been for me. I am who I am supposed to be, where I'm supposed to be, with whom I'm supposed to be. Without living through the JW years, I wouldn't be who I am now. I wouldn't have met the love of my life. Everything would be completely different. It sucks that I had to go though so many crappy years to get to my happy place, but sometimes we have to travel on difficult terrain to get to a real paradise, not that pipe dream sold by the WTBTS.
If anyone wants to talk or wants an e-pal, I'm here for you. I know how much former (current?) members of this site helped me just by simple interaction.
Sincerely,
Brian
