Posts by songmistress

5

HAve medications helped?

by Cyn in

.

i need to know if anyone here feels that antidepressants help........ and what type of therapy helps with the jw issue and ptsd................. also does anyone know about bipolar2.....i read a lot through many years even while in ther org...............but i get so many viewpoints........some ppl tell me to pray....i have alll my life!

many say use herbs..................................but am getting very confused........i have had depressions jw abuse issues...the crashing of my belief system and loss of faith also further abuse from family........loss of career.....harasssment........... .

songmistress

Hey Cyn:

Medication has been a lifesaver for me for many years. Although I sometimes have trouble accepting that I need meds.

I have just been diagnosed with bi-polar disorder, am not sure whether it is BPD2 or not. Don't know too much about it, but the symptoms did seem to fit.

Patty Duke wrote her life story. It's called "Call me Anna". She has battled BPD all her life. You might want to check it out for inspiration.

My therapist works on a cognitive therapy basis. I have worked with him for the last five years and finally feel able to deal with current issues. He brought to my attention, that having been part of a cult, there are PTSD issues to deal with.

Prayer, well prayer is always good, gives us focus. However contrary to what some of us have been told, prayer is not the complete answer. I get reminded regularily that medications may be God's answer to our prayers. FWIW

Blessings

Cheryl

7

Songmistress update

by songmistress in

just thought i'd update you all on the latest.

finally was seen by a psychiatrist.

she seems to think i may have a form of bi-polar disorder.

songmistress

Just thought I'd update you all on the latest. Finally was seen by a psychiatrist. She seems to think I may have a form of Bi-polar disorder. I have been started on a new medication and she is strongly suggesting that I take part in an intensive day treatment program.

I've realized that unhappiness and depression have been underlying everything/everyday, even on the good days (waiting for the other shoe to drop). The surprising part of this is my hubby's reaction. I expected him to comment about how our financial situation is very unstable. (he is on a temporary lay-off and at my job, there is not enough work to keep me busy). I guess somehow, he heard me say just how unhappy and depressed I am.

It looks like I will be doing this day-treatment thing here in the near future. I'm scared about what will happen. I wonder if my boss will understand. I don't think he can fire me for having a medical problem, but there are other reasons to get rid of a person, not the least of which is lack of work. However, today, I got the message loud and clear that I must take care of myself before there is no me to take care of.

I appreciate all of you who have been so encouraging to me (you know who you are) and so caring. Thanks and blessings to all of you.

I will keep you posted.

Love

Cheryl

16

"Jehovah will sort it out"

by Duncan in

jw
friends

"wait on jehovah.

"jehovah will sort it out.

how often have you heard that?

songmistress

"Jehovah will sort it out", reminds me of this story:

Remember the story of the guy who died in the flood? A Red Cross boat had come by earlier when the water was above the window sills, but the fellow refused rescue saying, "The Lord will save me." A second boat came when the water was to the eaves and the man was hanging from the gutters. But again he refused rescue. "The Lord will save me," he declared. Scrambling onto his roof ahead of the everrising waters the man spied a helicopter heading his way. A rope was lowered from the copter, but the obstinate guy batted it away and shouted over the din of the rotors, "The Lord will save me." Of course he drowned. He arrived at Heavens throne perplexed, hurt, angry, and dripping wet. "Why," he shouted at God, "didnt you save me?" "Give me a break," sighed the Lord God Almighty. "I sent two boats and a helicopter."

Don't know where this is from so I can't give credit, but will if someone recognizes it.

4

The Twilight Zone

by Swan in

jw
friends

tonight on the new and updated twilight zone on upn they had an episode that reminded me of what it was like to be in a cult.

it was about a teenage girl whose parents moved her and her sister into a gated community separated from the outside world.

everyone was forced to dress the same.

songmistress

Hey there Tammy:

Saw it and came to the same conclusion you did. Parallels were too much weren't they.

Blessings

Cheryl

50

Anybody from Portland, Oregon...?

by hillary_step in

jw
friends

.

if so please mail me off-line.

best regards - hsedited by - hillary_step on 11 september 2002 23:31:19.

songmistress

Hillary,

I live in Beaverton and I e-mailed when you started this thread and have been very curious as to just what you wanted. I would be open to getting together with the ones in this area, (we only have to name the place and time.

Blessings

Cheryl

28

Okay here goes....My Story. Long but true.

by Lin in

please bear with me through this, this could likely become lengthy.

i feel it's time for me to give you my story as a dub.

i was born and raised in an extremely "hardcore", strict witness home.

songmistress

(((((Lin))))))

Thanks for sharing. It was powerful and moving.

Blessings

Cheryl

15

What reason is there to live???

by songmistress in

this is a for real question, not just hypothetical.

some of you are aware that i am going through a very rough time.

i have been diagnosed with chronic major depression, probably from childhood.

songmistress

I need to say thanks to all of you for answering and I am sorry if I scared anyone. This was not my intention. I know I am not alone, it just feels like it at times. The confusion such a state brings is making it hard to function. My brain is oatmeal at the moment, can barely remember my own name.

I will give prayerful or meditative consideration to what I have heard/read here. The question of reasons to live has been in my mind for years. Sometimes I feel very strongly that the gods are playing games with us and ultimately it doesn't really matter.

(((Ona))) I owe you a very large debt of gratitude for being close by and available at a moments notice. (((Everyone else)))) excuse the global hug but I am a bit overwhelmed right at the moment, so forgive me for not thanking you each personally, but as I read the posts, know I am thinking it.

FYI: We are looking for a psychiatrist to see me soon. I have been on a variety of meds over the years and do not tolerate most of them. My therapist (PsyD.) did make me sign a no harm contract last week and he, like others, have made themselves available to me 24/7. I do seem to be in good hands everywhere but in my soul. I have times when I feel pretty good, then I plummet into not giving a shit.

Well, when Biker and Ona get married, I guess I should have it in my plans to be able to be present huh???

Blessings to all

Cheryl

10

Flowers

by joannadandy in

i was fingering the daisies in a bouquet of bright spring flowers.

i mean guys buy girls flowers.

i was nervous.

songmistress

Joanna,

All I can say at this point is Wow, that is one powerful experience. Thank you for sharing.

Blessings

Cheryl

18

ARE ANY WATCHTOWER BOOKS OF VALUE?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i have a very extensive library of wt.

publications.

i see how many of you got rid of the books and mags.

songmistress

I tried to give mine to a new congregation that had formed here at the time I left. They wouldn't take them. I had to get rid of my library cause every time I looked at my bookcase I felt like the organization was breathing down my neck. Burned the bible that I had used at meetings for years. Burned real good, cover and all. Everytime I have opportunity to look inside a WT publication, all I can see is the same old regurgitated nonsense that enslaved me in the first place. I ended up boxing them up and giving them to friends who held on to them for a while, til I told them to just get rid of them for me. I have no idea where they might have ended up. Probably as fire starters if I know my friends.

Some of the pubs may be worth money, but I have no regrets for getting rid of my library. My peace of mind was (and still is) at stake.

Blessings,

Cheryl

14

Antipathetics instead of "Apostates"

by Dismembered in

jw
friends

due to the negative connotations that result from the word "apostate".

how about if from here and now we consider ourselves antipathetics instead.

what do you think simon & all?

songmistress

I have come to like the word Apostate. It could be like the joke about calling someone a bitch to which we can reply "You say that like it's a bad thing" or That's Madam Bitch to you. IE: That's Madam/Sir Apostate to you.

Also I like the thought that was brought out in another thread, that when we speak we can be "Apostrophising".

Blessings

Cheryl