This is hilarious! Thanks for the satire. I really needed it today!
Tammy
Posts by Swan
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7An explanation for God's behaviour
by crownboy inthis is a funny article, but better than any explanation theists have given: .
http://www.theonion.com/onion3716/god_diagnosed_bipolar.html.
new haven, ctin a diagnosis that helps explain the confusing and contradictory aspects of the cosmos that have baffled philosophers, theologians, and other students of the human condition for millennia, god, creator of the universe and longtime deity to billions of followers, was found monday to suffer from bipolar disorder.
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9
Make Good Use of God's Reprieve of 100 Years
by Swan inmake good use of god's reprieve of 100 years.
it is true that we can not know the day and the hour of armageddon.
we have been mislead about dates in the past.
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Swan
Unfortunately I don't have a JW Bible to quote from anymore, so it isn't quite authentic, but the flavor is there. At least I got something out of 35 years of boring book studies.
Glad you enjoyed it.
Tammy
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'One thing is absolutely certain..'
by ISP in*** w68 8/15 500-1 why are you looking forward to 1975?
35 one thing is absolutely certain, bible chronology reinforced with fulfilled bible prophecy shows that six thousand years of mans existence will soon be up, yes, within this generation!
(matt.
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Swan
That was good ISP. It gave me an idea for a tounge in cheek article dealing with this very issue. Thanks!
Tammy
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9
Make Good Use of God's Reprieve of 100 Years
by Swan inmake good use of god's reprieve of 100 years.
it is true that we can not know the day and the hour of armageddon.
we have been mislead about dates in the past.
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Swan
Make Good Use of God's Reprieve of 100 Years
It is true that we can not know the day and the hour of Armageddon. We have been mislead about dates in the past. As Matt. 24: 36 says, "But of that day and hour no one knows, not even the angels of the heaven, but my Father only."
What can we discern from this scripture? Is it really saying that nobody knows the day and the hour? Or is it actually telling us the year, while keeping the day and the hour secret? Remember that Jesus said the Father only knew. But Jesus knew at what hour he was about to die. Matt. 26: 45 reveals "Then He came to His disciples and said to them, "Are you still sleeping and resting? Behold, the hour is at hand, and the Son of man is being betrayed into the hands of sinners."
So Jesus knew when he was to die in the year 33 CE. What can we learn from this? Can we actually pinpoint the year in which that day and hour is to come? With all certainty yes!
Taking the number 2436 from Matt. 24: 36, and applying the rule a year for a day, we get "But of that year and hour..." or 2436 years. Jesus died in 33 CE. This is in partial fulfillment of the prophesy of time, times, and a half times. Time is 1 and times is 2. Adding 1 and 2 you get 3. 3 times 11 is 33, which gives us our partial fulfillment. The number 11 in the Bible represents the number of complete spiritual confusion. Remember it was 11 confused brothers who approached Joseph in Egypt. It was 11 disciples who remained faithful to Jesus, although they were scattered and confused. Also 11, when the digits are summed together, gives us 2, which is the first digit of 2436!
Okay, one might ask, but what about the half times. The complete fulfillment comes when we add back the half times. If we split 33 in half, spiritually, we get 3 and 3. So a half times of 3 and 33 give us 333. Was this 333 CE? Hardly not! This year had not yet occurred when Jesus spoke. It was still some 300 years in the future. So obviously he is talking about 333 BCE.
What event of significance happened in 333 BCE? This was the year that Alexander the Great, prophesied about in the Bible, started his Greek conquest of the Earth as a new world power, replacing the Medo-Persian world power. That world power ended and the Greek world power began. Alexander the Great also died at age 33 just like Christ did! This shows us that we are on the track of finding the real truth of these words. All of these numbers fit together as if a master architect had fashioned them.
If we go forward from the year of the complete fulfillment at 333 BCE the full number of 2436 years we arrive at the year of fulfillment, but of the day and hour we do not know. We must remember to subtract a year because there was no year zero. This gives us the 2102 CE. It is right around the corner! Oh how marvelous that God has given us another hundred years to prepare ourselves and others for that glorious day and hour!Surely we do not want to be caught sleeping or napping as the disciples were in Matt. 26:45. Let us do our utmost to be active during this time of reprieve!
Contributed by Swan
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24
I feel damaged by my experience
by girltalking inhi to everyone on this board - i have been around reading many of your posts for some time now but have only just felt strong enough to post my own thoughts.
the watchtower has left me with guilty feelings that i find hard to cope with at times.
my story in the "truth" started when i was 18 years old.
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Swan
For TTboy, Wednesday, and AwakendedandFree.
In case I missed your post elsewhere:
t
WELCOMEt -
27
nervous and confused
by dazedgrl inhi, i have been reading post for over a month before getting up the nerve to register.
its been really interesting listening to all of your perspectives.
i was raised a jw.
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Swan
Dear Dazedgrl,
Welcome.
I was raised a JW. My family is what youd call very spiritual. I havent attended a meeting in over a year. I am very confused about what exactly it is that I believe. I have wondered if what I have been taught is the truth for awhile. But only recently had the nerve to ask outloud. Even as I'm writing I'm thinking in the back of my mind, what am I doing posting on a site like this? The big A has always been a scary word. But one of my biggest dilema's has been..... Why do my questions come at such a high price?
I too was raised JW. I too was worried about being on an "apostate" site. Then I realized that the label "apostate" is one more way they try and control us, even after we leave. They try and keep us afraid of coming to these sites with the "apostate" label and the fear that if our family finds out that we are "apostate" that it might somehow damage any chance we might of had of re-establishing a relationship with them even further. They also use the disfellowshipping / disassociation / apostate rules as a kind of Tower of Babel to confuse us and scatter us so that we can't find each other and seek healing. After I realized that I decided not to give them that power any more.
I hope you can have all your questions answered here.
Tammy
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24
I feel damaged by my experience
by girltalking inhi to everyone on this board - i have been around reading many of your posts for some time now but have only just felt strong enough to post my own thoughts.
the watchtower has left me with guilty feelings that i find hard to cope with at times.
my story in the "truth" started when i was 18 years old.
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Swan
Dear Girltalking,
Welcome.
How have any of you recovered from the feelings and thought control imposed upon you by the watchtower and when did you finally feel like a person in your own right again as at the moment I feel I have no identity.
It takes time. Lots of time. Posting on this board helps a lot. But it takes a lot of time to get over the feeling of being duped and controled.
Tammy
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12
How to help a friend?
by City Fan inwell after over 100 posts this is my first thread.
but i thought that this subject was important enough to start a topic and i hope some of you will be able to give me some good advice.. to set the scene: a very close friend of mine is a nurse training to be an anaesthetist.
he recently had a jw call on him and he'd invited him in and they'd discussed the blood issue.
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Swan
Another approach would be to use his interest in medicine. Don't overtly come out against the witnesses, but rather ask him questions and let him research the answers. Or hand him some of the material that you found on vaccinations and transplants and ask him for his opinion. Say that you have wondered what you would do from a conscience standpoint if these situations ever came up in your medical future and that you want to be prepared. Ask him to help you find the research that supports that vaccinations will lead to immorality, that heart transplants can cause drastic personality changes, etc. Ask him if he feels that aluminum is really safe and if they use it in his hospital. Put the onus on him to answer these questions and he will soon find himself trying to justify these conflicts between science and the WT in his own mind.
Tammy
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Holiday thoughts
by nilfun inthere was always a bible (watchtower)-based reason not to celebrate.
heads were cut off.
fertility rites were involved.
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Swan
LOL @ Nilfun!
Or sell Avon, the one true cosmetics!
Edited by - Swan on 8 September 2002 13:13:44
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22
Shunned & I don't seem to care. Can u relate?
by joeshmoe inhere's a concern... i've been shunned by my family for going on 3 months... and so what?
is it wrong that i don't seem to miss them?
i know that this can be painful for many and i wonder why it doesn't seem to bother me?
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Swan
Dear Josh,
Yes. Anger is a definite part of the pain and part of the healing process. I went through the same distancing process myself. There isn't a set schedule for all of the different things you feel. It just happens when it happens.
Tammy