Mackin, glad I read your story; nice to meet you... I was in Brooklyn bethel for 3 years, & I have to say I agree with what you've said. I was only 19 when I was accepted there, so was never an elder, but 'by their fruits you shall know them' and all that; I saw enough that the seeds were sown. I was ready to leave it all. One of the kindest, best people I ever met in that dysfunctional borg was an elder at bethel - but not a "Bethel Elder," mind you. Personality issues, politics, & the like kept him from ever being put in that position, even though he was the most sincere, knowledgable, loving JW that I ever met. In fact, after I confessed a couple of "secret sins" to the Bethel Elder in charge of my department (waiter crew), I was still allowed to be there for about a week, as I wasn't perceived as any threat to the "family." I spent that week, to a great extent, hanging around with that one bro, talking, clearing my emotional headspace, etc... only to have the overseer of my department come to me THE DAY BEFORE I LEFT BETHEL and warn me against associating with him. He couldn't quote specifics, of course, but did his level best to imply that this particular ELDER was bad association. Despite the fact that I knew better, and despite the fact that I was moving back home, about 1000 miles away from this person and bethel.
Add this to the fact that I learned how to get drunk at bethel (with the help of several brethren), and that some nights I had trouble sleeping due to the loud fighting going on between a bethelite couple in the room next door, and that one of my close friends & workmates tried to commit suicide while he was there... It goes on and on. I'm glad you're out, Mackin; I wish neither of us had ever been in.