Elders said, 1.Donot go to college,2. Don't use birth control but when our third son was born mentally challenged and special needs no one helped out 3.stay with your husband,for you maybe his salvation since I was active and he wasn't.4.go to 12 step programs but don't participate 5.go to therapy but don't come to us if the demons hassle you.5.Don't divorce your husband,you will be responsible if he commits adultery 6.you aren't a good publisher because you divorced your husband 7.re-marry your ex , he is an elder's son.
Posts by spike
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29What Bad Counsel Was Given To You By The Elders?
by minimus ini've heard a ton of "bad counsel" given by elders such as "you should or shouldn't marry this person", "give up that job", "you should pioneer"........were you given any "bad counsel"?
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29
WERE YOU TREATED POORLY IN THE CONGREGATION?
by minimus inwhen you were associated in the congregation, were you treated in a way that made you feel like you were a 2nd class citizen?
how were you regarded?
were you the brunt of criticism or were you pretty much well-liked?
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spike
YES. YES, YES, but I was too stupid to realize it. I just keep forgiving their cold attitudes. I kept trying to fit in. I hoped they would correct their unchristian behavior. When I found more love in a 12 step program, I began to wonder what was up. Maybe this is not a God organization after all. I am bitter I wasted so many years people pleasing.
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20
What do you fear most?
by sleepy inwhat do you fear most?.
when a witness i was afraid of dying at the big a. now i just fear dying.
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spike
I fear growing older and not having answers to the questions. I have been on a journey of 35 years as a JW and I'm too tired and unhealthy to find another life. I LIVE IN FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN.
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20
What did you give up to become a witness?
by sleepy inwhat did you give up to become a witness?.
was it something you are still glad about or something you regret.. i'll start of with things i gave up.
(even though i was brought up in the truth talks and the mags made you guilty about certain things).
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spike
I gave up a college education and a future decent job, family and friends. I married in 1974 to a brother(jerk) thinking 1975 was the end. I had 2 sons and didn't follow the doctor's orders to not have any more children but followed the elder's advice. So we have a special needs son. I divorced the jerk husband only to remarry on the elder's advice to be an acceptable publisher. I lost my health by working menial jobs and my injuries include memory problems, so I can't be educated. So I am very bitter that I threw 30 years of my life away in making wrong decisions based on WTBS rules. And I don't think I'll recover.
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16
Honest Research: Why?
by Adonai438 ini am trying to gather info.
on why people leave the wt.. i have read many personal stories but thought it would be easier to just post the question:.
if you can remember, what was the very first thing.
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spike
We were unhappy with our local congregation because of their lack of love, lack of understanding of addictions and depression issues and their favoritism to wealthy publishers.
Six of us transferred to a congregation 50 miles away. It was a city congregation with not much caring, never got your name right,never called when meetings were cancelled etc. My husband and I got tired of driving. I have severe health problems so we are fading away. No one calls either.
I started reading on the internet. I am disgusted in the WTBS's handling of pedophiles, women,denying us of Jesus'mediation, blood issue, false doctrines and favoritism of men. They allowed Rutherford to drink and the rest of the publishers are d'fed or sent to AA. The truth appealed to me because of the utopian idealism. This is not happening so I am leaving. -
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QUESTION: What religion are you in now? ...
by terafera inthis got me to thinking.... now that most of us have left the wts, i notice some have taken other belief systems.
some have come to a peace with their own ideas.. my question is are you involved with another religion?
has it brought you more peace or happiness?
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spike
I believe in freedom of beliefs and principles. When I get up for the day I believe in whatever principle I want. It may be freedom of Christ or 12 step recovery steps or agnostic or science. Sometimes Bible based or not. I will never join a man made religion or donate money to such causes. My energies are more toward saving animals and the earth. Peace!
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83
I Don't Sympathise With Suicides
by Englishman inlet me explain.. firstly i have seen any number of so-called attempted suicides.
i've walked past an old girl friends house, seen her watching tv through the window, by the time i'm knocking on the door she's told me that she had her head in the gas oven and my knock stopped her.. my mother in law walks into the sea for a pastime.
every time she can't get her own way she walks in up to her knees and waits for someone to see her.
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spike
Some people are not truly victims but have no choice because of chemicals in their brain not working right. I'm taking about bi-polar diagnosis. Some of their medications have side effects that can cause suicide. Whom ever cries out about taking their life must be taken serious. I'm glad most on this board are suicide free. Until you walk in a person's shoes, what makes you an expert to judge? Why don't you have empathy?
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Guardianships for the Incompetent
by spike inmy 18 year old mentally challenged son faces social services bringing on a guardianship hearing.
and the proposed guardians are his grandmother who he lives with and standby uncle and aunt, who are jw's.
my husband and myself aren't able to convince the family we want to be his guardians.
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spike
My 18 year old mentally challenged son faces Social Services bringing on a guardianship hearing. And the proposed guardians are his grandmother who he lives with and standby Uncle and Aunt, who are jw's. My husband and myself aren't able to convince the family we want to be his guardians. We are trying to fade out of jw's. How do I help my son without blowing our cover that we want him out of jw's? I don't have money for a lawyer to fight them. My son has a IQ of 70 so he is convinced he should be a jw. My son comes on saturdays to see us, so I don't want to be df'd. I'm afraid of the donot take blood issue too. Any help out there? We need an Ann Landers column!
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i still haven't found what I'm looking for?
by spacegirl ini have played my trumpet for god in the salvation army.
i have taken confession and holy communion with the catholics.
i danced down oxford street banging a tambourine with the hare krishnas.
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spike
Good luck. I hope your beliefs include love,compassion and the right to bear arms. Oh wait that's mine.
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9
X-files/Jw's/poll
by zev inwhile out for my usual liquid lunch, a cup of new englands finest pee week coffee and a pack of grape bubble yumm..... a thought accured to me.. i'm a die hard avid x-files fan.. i can relate to mulder.
i can definately relate to that busty red head partner of his, scully.. my thought was this..... in the last 10 months of digging into wt stuff and opening my eyes to the wretched viel of hypocrisy i've been lead by all my life..... am i really that much different than mulder?
seeking "truth", looking for the hidden agendas, and conspiricys?.
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spike
Trust no-one has been my motto for years. After all aren't we all alittle bit alien living in the twilight zone.