It’s been very difficult, much more than I first anticipated to live a lie, (be pimo and a regular active member) I still live with my parents but I plan on moving out at the end of the year, so I really need to keep it together. But I think people are starting to get suspicious that something is up. I’ve stopped commenting, going on service all the time, talking at the door, and occasionally voicing something, such as a question that no one has a good answer for, that makes people think, but ahah, thinking is dangerous and wrong so that is suspicious of course. I know it’s stupid of me, but it’s also unnatural to live like this so I’m not too hard on myself. It’s just getting to be too difficult, I just don’t know how to pretend to be brainwashed and mind controlled anymore. I don’t know if I can keep this up for another 6-8 months, and at first Disassociating seemed completely out of the question but now I’m considering it much more seriously. Anyways thanks for listening!
Addison0998
JoinedPosts by Addison0998
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26
Struggling to Live a Lie
by Addison0998 init’s been very difficult, much more than i first anticipated to live a lie, (be pimo and a regular active member) i still live with my parents but i plan on moving out at the end of the year, so i really need to keep it together.
but i think people are starting to get suspicious that something is up.
i’ve stopped commenting, going on service all the time, talking at the door, and occasionally voicing something, such as a question that no one has a good answer for, that makes people think, but ahah, thinking is dangerous and wrong so that is suspicious of course.
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Banned words in the organization
by Addison0998 ini was talking to my sister in law the other day about death, and i mentioned something about the afterlife, i don’t remember what i said but it was nothing shocking .
but she squealed, “we don’t believe in the afterlife!
!” and i reasoned, well we kinda do...life after death is the after life..and she just insisted no no it’s not the same thing.
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Addison0998
Wow slimboyfat, that list is so eye opening and scary. Of course we know all these things, but to actually think about it all at once, this is such a cult!
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Banned words in the organization
by Addison0998 ini was talking to my sister in law the other day about death, and i mentioned something about the afterlife, i don’t remember what i said but it was nothing shocking .
but she squealed, “we don’t believe in the afterlife!
!” and i reasoned, well we kinda do...life after death is the after life..and she just insisted no no it’s not the same thing.
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Addison0998
I was talking to my sister in law the other day about death, and I mentioned something about the afterlife, I don’t remember what I said but it was nothing shocking . But she squealed, “We don’t believe in the afterlife!!” And I reasoned, well we kinda do...life after death is the after life..And she just insisted no no it’s not the same thing. They are all so silly with their ignorance. Same thing with the “rapture”, and the word “doctrine” and “church”. They are all very real things with Jehovah’s Witness, but dirty words. And I don’t think, in my 20 years of being a witness, have I ever heard the word “grace” or Gods grace used in the meeting or publications, so I think that’s an uncomfortable one for them too. Even though it’s right in the Bible. Also the hypocrisy of them saying, “The word trinity is no where in the Bible.” Oh but neither is disfellowshipping, reinstatement, governing body, secret elder manual...hmm oh well
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Consequences for having a non religious wedding ceraminy?
by Addison0998 inhey i was wondering if maybe someone who is an ex elder or who knows a lot about these things could help me.
my dad is an elder but i need to be cautious with questions i ask.
now that i’ve been woken up from my brainwashed love of this corrupt corporation and from my belief in the bible, and my fiancé is starting to wake up as well, i really don’t want to have the sexist, overused, impersonal talk outline used for my wedding ceremony by some elder who is trying to show off his talk giving skills.
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Addison0998
Hey I was wondering if maybe someone who is an Ex elder or who knows a lot about these things could help me. My dad is an elder but I need to be cautious with questions I ask. Now that I’ve been woken up from my brainwashed love of this corrupt corporation and from my belief in the Bible, and my fiancé is starting to wake up as well, I really don’t want to have the sexist, overused, impersonal talk outline used for my wedding ceremony by some elder who is trying to show off his talk giving skills. We still have to be part of the borg until we move away, and we are both very close to our families and don’t want to run off and elope. So I’m wondering, what would happen if we didn’t tell anybody, keep it hush hush, then hired a non religious ordained person to give our wedding talk. Do you think people would flip out, get up and leave? Would we get sent to the back room afterwards? Lol, maybe im being dramatic and paranoid. Do you think they would even care? It won’t be at the Kingdom Hall of course, and I will be moved out from my elder fathers house, so am I free to make this decision? I can’t find anything about it in the elder manual. But I live around a lot of gossiping, controlling witnesses who are a great representation of the borg. Anyways, I appreciate any help, thank you!
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Even elders don’t know their beliefs
by Addison0998 ini had a deep conversation with my elder father today about the bible.
first i talked to him about luke 16:19-31. the one where jesus makes this crazy illustration regarding the afterlife.
of course he had to look it up on the watchtower library to be spoon fed his beliefs.
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Addison0998
I had a deep conversation with my elder father today about the Bible. First I talked to him about Luke 16:19-31. The one where Jesus makes this crazy illustration regarding the afterlife. Of course he had to look it up on the watchtower library to be spoon fed his beliefs. I couldn’t get him to raise any doubts, although he did say it is so strange and confusing that Jesus decided to talk about life after death like that. I asked him if he could imagine the response if that scripture wasn’t in the Bible and an elder said that from the platform at the KH. He didn’t know what to say.
I told him I had also done research (on the wt library of course) (noooot jwfacts.com lol) on the 607 and 587 deal. He was very surprised, as he had no clue that historians and researchers agree that Jerusalem was destroyed in 587. He said that we have to trust the Bible more than those other people. And that Jehovah will probably provide more evidence later. I can only dream that this has planted seeds in his mind that he will later give more attention to. But I feel like I shouldn’t even try. There is no independent thinking and reasoning skills in this family and they will always be mind controlled. Oh well
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Who are they protecting?
by Addison0998 ini may have this wrong, but isn’t the wt being fined $4000 a day for not releasing the names of pedophiles in the congregation to authorities?
is it possible that some of these pedophiles they are hiding are prominent members, maybe even a governing body member?
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Addison0998
I may have this wrong, but isn’t the WT being fined $4000 a day for not releasing the names of pedophiles in the congregation to authorities? Is it possible that some of these pedophiles they are hiding are prominent members, maybe even a governing body member?
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Today’s meeting and CO visit
by Addison0998 inthe meeting today was quite disturbing as usual and had to endure 2 talks by yet another egotistical, pompous co who gives talks like a hardcore southern baptist, but people adore no matter what crazy shit spews from their mouth.
today, he talked about jesus illustration about how if your eye or hand stumbles you, remove it.
he went into gory detail about how somebodies eye ball is pulled out from their head, and what it takes to cut someone’s hand off...perhaps even with a pocketknife...in front of many small children in the audience.
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Addison0998
The meeting today was quite disturbing as usual and had to endure 2 talks by yet another egotistical, pompous CO who gives talks like a hardcore southern baptist, but people adore no matter what crazy shit spews from their mouth. Today, he talked about Jesus illustration about how if your eye or hand stumbles you, remove it. He went into gory detail about how somebodies eye ball is pulled out from their head, and what it takes to cut someone’s hand off...perhaps even with a pocketknife...in front of many small children in the audience. He also went into detail for 25 minutes about meathods Jehovah will use to kill “ungodly people”. And to top it off, the watchtower was so culty. Saying that people who put off baptism are needlessly endangering their lives since only baptized ones can be saved...and then a few paragraphs later stating that we shouldn’t pressure people to get baptized. I can’t believe I used to believe this stuff. And I can’t believe they say that the Bible is talking about the elders with the “seven stars at Jesus right hand”. This is why I think I’m done with religion in general. Christian religions just cherry pick random scriptures to build their belief system and then make the verses out to mean whatever they want them too. I don’t know if I should give up on Christianity or not. Oh well, thanks for listening, it feels good to let these feelings out since I’m constantly surrounded by people who are obsessive cult members who preach nonstop about how amazing the org is and how careful we have to be in this world full of wicked apostates, false religion, and the “worldly” people -_-
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There is No Way Out For Me
by Addison0998 ini have come to the conclusion that there is no way for me to ever leave.
although i have some friends at work, my whole social structure are witnesses.
even if i move congregations, my parents have contacts everywhere who will tell them if i’m not active.
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Addison0998
Thank you all so much for your advice. I’m planning on living on my own soon so I’m trying to come to a decision and trying to see my life play out with either decision. It’s very scary stepping into the unknown... of a normal life...lol
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There is No Way Out For Me
by Addison0998 ini have come to the conclusion that there is no way for me to ever leave.
although i have some friends at work, my whole social structure are witnesses.
even if i move congregations, my parents have contacts everywhere who will tell them if i’m not active.
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Addison0998
I have come to the conclusion that there is no way for me to ever leave. Although I have some friends at work, my whole social structure are witnesses. Even if I move congregations, my parents have contacts everywhere who will tell them if I’m not active. They flip out if I miss one Saturday of service. I doubt I will ever find another PIMO fader to have a relationship with. My family would probably not even attend a wedding I would have one day with someone who is not a witness. I love my family when they are not being crazy religious lunatics, and I can’t imagine living a life without family. I don’t know what to do. I can’t imagine teaching my future children things I do not believe in. I don’t know if I can fake it and attended 2 meetings a week every week, and even worse, go in service and feel embarrassed and awkward the whole time. What am I even going to say anymore? Any advice anyone?
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Craziest Speculations You’ve heard about the end and paradise
by Addison0998 inwe’ve all heard them all our life.
my two biggest stupidest ones i think are, “ we can really tell the end is almost here with the way people drive on the highway.” and a girl who said she wants to hurry up and marry her boyfriend because she’s scared if the end comes before their married, she’ll have to wait 1000 years to marry him.
oh and also a poor old lady saying that she hopes jehovah wipes away the memory of her disfellowshipped sons that he will have to destroy.
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Addison0998
yes @scratchme1010 I knew a girl who thought she would be able to pick out what she looked like in paradise, where do they come up with this