Welcome!! Your going to be Ok.
I just sent my last letter out to my older brother of my defection. We are 3rd gen. He is still an active elder as well as another brother. I'll miss them,.... I only saw them once every few years so it's not going to be as hard as I've read with some.
I'm coming up to 60 years and I'd like my remaining years to be truly free.
I hope we read from you more of your story soon