Posts by happy@last

go inot the hall on sunday or day of theocratic service meeting and during meeting simply get up and say i "such and such" disassociate myself from jehovah's witnesses and quietly walk out!

this lets you own your story and take the power out of their hands, it as well sparks interest in those around who may contact you later to see why you left.

it is not them kicking you out it is you leaving this false religious business.

I did hear of someone who concluded a public talk with 'Thank you very much, I'm off' and walked out never to return, the trouble is that the rumours abound and people put it down to him being 'sick/unwell' instead of thinking about why would he do such a thing

41

My introduction/experience

by happy@last in

i have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about jws.

before i left i had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising i was not alone with my feelings.

the week i was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, i had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).. not long after i started to have concerns about jws, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the fds', this did not sit well with me.

happy@last

DeWandelaar: "keep the faith my friend. what you experience(d) is satanic... know that God and Christ know it and will support you with their Spirit... no man or power on earth can take THAT away from you. Man may disappoint you all day, every day... but they can't."

I agree with you on the 'policy' aspect, but not on the above. I cannot see how any God could see so much suffering and not act on it, why is he/she not supporting everyone with the spirit when it is pretty clear to everyone for many years that the world is a bad place.

I am a parent of 2 children, and if I saw either suffer I would not allow it a second longer than necessary, because I love them. If I see someone injured in the street I have never met before I would go to their aid, if I see a bird with a broken wing I would help it, if I am made in God's image then why doesn't he/she do the same? A god of love? Really? I see no evidence of that.

8

How to create a new social life

by Wide Awake! in

jw
friends

i grew up as a witness, but it's been a few years since i've been to a meeting.. i'm having trouble being social and making new friends.

i've moved away from the town that i grew up in (about 45 minutes away) and, although i'm not df'ed, i've lost track of my old friends after they found out i wasn't attending anymore.

you guys know how it is.. i'm self-employed, extremely introverted, and have kind of isolated myself for a while.

happy@last

As you are self-employed have a look for business networking meetings, where I am they have them morning, noon and night! Some might be a bit daunting if you are introvert, but many are quite informal.

Perhaps spend time chatting with your new neighbours, or join a club for a hobby.

I've found listening to people first before telling them anything about yourself is good, people love to tell you their story, and for every so many people you'll meet you may just click with one or two and become good friends over time.

I do not have a problem talking to people, but I do have a trust issue, I trust no-one except one true friend I have, out of the thousands of people I have met, I am content with having just the one true friend, but I still meet up with lots of other people.

21

Having small children go door to door without their parents.

by life is to short in

jw
friends

ok so my husband still goes out in service.

last weekend he worked with an elder who is in his late 50's, another brother who is in his mid 60's, my husband is in his mid 60's and the idiot who conducted the meeting put a eight or nine year old girl with them.. i asked my husband why?

he said he thought it was strange also.

happy@last

I totally understand, it makes me feel sick thinking about the possibilites of that situation. If your husband found it strange also, maybe he can call the bethel service desk, maybe anoymously, and voice his concerns.

18

Remember the Story about a Month Ago RE the Woman Who Murdered Her Two Children?

by jamiebowers in

jw
friends

i have received correspondence from a jw in ontario canada.

the following is background information regarding the sinclair family and their adult children.

their son, scott left the cult and committed suicide.

happy@last

Absolutely tragic, the mental anguish she lives with must be unbelievable, so so sad....

41

My introduction/experience

by happy@last in

i have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about jws.

before i left i had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising i was not alone with my feelings.

the week i was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, i had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).. not long after i started to have concerns about jws, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the fds', this did not sit well with me.

happy@last

I'm truly overwhelmed at everyone's responses, thank you for the warm welcome.

Jam - mentally i am good today, thank you for asking. Over the years I have seen psychologists and sought other professional help, some days are better than others, however having genuine friends instead of phony so called christian ones makes a huge difference

41

My introduction/experience

by happy@last in

i have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about jws.

before i left i had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising i was not alone with my feelings.

the week i was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, i had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).. not long after i started to have concerns about jws, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the fds', this did not sit well with me.

happy@last

Hi all

I have only just recently found this site, in fact only recently gone online to do research of my own about JWs. Before I left I had only gone on my gut instinct, not even realising I was not alone with my feelings. The week I was appointed an elder some 11 years ago, I had had to write to a congregation many miles away from me about how unloving they were (more details below).

Not long after I started to have concerns about JWs, expecially as the message of 'following the bibles message' subtly changed to 'follow the FDS', this did not sit well with me. Eventually after seeing the effect DFing has on people, and the way certain issues were being handled I knew I had to be away from it.

I suffered incredible turmoil, I stopped eating for a while when I knew I had to go. I had just received an invitation to an elders school and knew I could not go. My resignation letter was as follows:

--------------------

I write you this day of my resignation from the body of elders with immediate effect. As you know I have been unwell physically and mentally. I feel that my resigning from the body will enable me to concentrate on getting myself well enough to enjoy being with my brothers again. The reason for my health issue is as follows:

My mother came into the truth when I was 7, and not long after married a witness, despite one of the elders recommending she not do so.

It turns out he is a paedophile and my sister and I survived several years of physical, mental and sexual abuse. Whilst the policy for dealing with such circumstances has changed over the years, current procedure would still not have protected me, as it was always my word against his, and a paedophile will rarely commit their crimes in front of witnesses. (1Tim 5:19) I had meetings with elders, but nothing could be done about the situation.

When eventually I was old enough and disgusted enough to make it clear what exactly was happening, the police were called, and he admitted to the elders that wrongful conduct had taken place. My mother divorced him and he was also disfellowshipped. This was not the first time he had been disfellowhipped.

All the while he was 'in the world' I was satisfied he would not prey on any witness children, however about 10 years ago he was welcomed back into the Christian congregation. I was not informed of this, I found out after he upset my sister at an assembly by insisting on sitting wherever she was.

The elders in my previous congregation, who had been on the committee told us to 'move on' with our lives, and warned that we could be dealt with for slander if we were to tell anyone. At that time I wrote to the elders in the congregation concerned outlining that we are still suffering on a daily basis and would dearly love to move on, but cannot. To date I have had no response.

I am sure you will agree that none of the above appears to have had any display of Christian love, unfortunately the elders had been guided by policies and procedures, that neither acted for the protection nor the comfort of the victims, only for the protection of the abuser. Additionally the fact that members of the congregation cannot be warned if a paedophile is in their congregation, and such a person is allowed to go on the ministry and conduct Bible studies with individuals including children is hard for me to understand. These are concerns I have had for many years.

In view of this, listening in elders meetings to policies and procedures on many different subjects, listening to talks at the hall and assemblies about finding comfort and protection in the organisation, have now taken their toll on me, and this is what has brought me to a nervous breakdown. I know firsthand that these policies can be for a protection, but can also be damaging if adhered to without taking love into account.

I am sure I will recover physically from this; mentally it may take a lot longer.

In my conclusion I ask that you consider the following. When asked by both the Pharisees and Sadducees, with the purpose of tricking him, which was the greatest command, Jesus said it is to love Jehovah and your neighbour, and this sums up all the laws Jehovah had given the Israelites. This showed up the religious sects’ wrongdoing in adding rules and regulations that did not have love as a basis. (Matt 22:36-38) Whilst I am not promoting straying from any policies that have been laid down from the organisation, I request that all dealings by the body of elders are based on love, procedural or not, especially as the dear brothers and sisters are doing their best to display such love themselves.

---------------

I knew that once I had resigned I would not be coming back, and that has been the case for over a year. Prior to me 'fading' I had not spoken to anyone about how I was feeling about certain issues, except a couple of fellow elders, and never realised there was a whole community of people such as found here who felt the same as me. It has been quite an eye opener, and now makes perfect sense to me.

So, that's me for now, just wanted to say 'hi' and hopefully make a contribution or two over the next while.

13

Loosing Your Religion

by ballistic in

jw
friends

changing your religion for another or completely loosing your religion and or your belief in god, or turning to an agnostic point of view is really quite a big change.

for not wanting to state the obvious, when you change your religion, it changes not just the concept of religion in your mind, but your entire world view, or the way you perceive things work in the universe.

how does such an enormous change happen?.

happy@last

Nagging doubts over many years finally lead to me walking out of an assembly. I heard the words, "comfort for the depressed", and "finding safety and peace in the organisation" and it made my blood boil. Having not experienced or seen this in action, listening to it was like listening a pack of lies and I realised thats what it was. It took a short while to effect my fade away, but my complete change has brought complete relief