Posts by SusanHere

22

How can I learn to more assertive?

by Apostate Kate2 in

jw
friends

i think this is left over from dubdays, dunno.

when i need to be assertive i fizzle out.

my husband was furious when he came home.

SusanHere

Apostate Kate said:

You know people can be scarey! I think I just analyzed myself. This is the real root of it all. I have had some very bad and traumatic things happen to me when someone was violent and out of control. Dont wanna make people angry or bad things can happen....hhhmmmm

I think you are exactly spot on with this self-analysis. I, too, had many bad and traumatic incidents as a young child with a violent and out of control parent. I grew up with the mantra of "Don't make Daddy mad" being heard nearly daily. I grew up afraid of violence coming out of nowhere, from nothing, at any time.

Though long past those fears, and able to be very confident and assertive within my own sphere of influence, the fear is always there that strangers might become violent. It is difficult to be assertive with them, so I always play nice, keep things mellow, and often get taken advantage of. When that happens, my wonderful hubby steps in.

I have learned to very, very sweetly ask hired people, salespeople, etc., if they didn't "forget" to do something they were hired to do, or if I "misunderstood" what we had agreed on, and then ask, "So when are you going to do that part?" and I finish with "And I pay you the rest when it's all done, right?"

This can be done non-confrontationally. It's important to me to leave all contacts on a positive note, with praise for the good job they did, even if I'm inwardly seething at how much effort it took to get the work done. It's important to me to have even casual contact people remember me as being a nice person, a quality person.

I think you are much the same in what you are dealing with. Yes, it's all tied back to your early history, but you can improve on it. And with every positive encounter, you feel more confident for the next one.

Oh, and someone once told me to write my signature five times a day, underlining each one as soon as it is written. I underlined each one twice. This tells your subconscience (sp?) mind that you are a person of worth, and your wants matter as much as anyone elses. It sounds really silly, but it did help me.

Good luck and God bless.

SusanHere

9

Angels Materializing

by jaffa84 in

jw
friends

can angels materialize?.

SusanHere

according to JW mythology (and probably other christian mythology) There were no demons before the flood.

They were condemned as demons after trying to get back to heaven when it started raining.

JWs say Joehovah took the Cart Blanc super materialization power away from all the angels and demons so they couldnt go have sex with human females anymore. Since that time only angels with Joehovahs permission can materialize. (see sodom and gomorrah and other like myths)

Do ANY other Christian religions teach this garbage?

SusanHere

23

What do JWs think of Mormons?

by lavendar in

jw
friends

.

do they think the lds church is a cult......or do they just lump them in with christendom?.

lavendar .

SusanHere

Why would they instruct JWs not to mention Mormons? That's a new one to me. Any reasoning on this, anybody?

I'd really like to know.

Thanks,

Susan

7

Non Trinitarian religions at the time of Russel?

by restrangled in

jw
friends

is there a link or does some one have info on this?

for an answer to my mom on a chosen religion by christ.

her argument was russel was the closet to the bible based on that.. i was too tired and involved with ancestrty stuff to listen.. sorry if this has been covered before.

SusanHere

Latter-day Saints (Mormons) have always been non-Trinitarians. I'm sure there are others.

Susan

42

Why don't Witnesses indentify themselves at the door when in service?

by RULES & REGULATIONS in

my 17 year old daughter told me 2 men were at the door saturday looking for adults that lived in the house.my wife and i were out of town for 2 days.they had suits on and carrying book bags.

they asked if she was over 18. she replied that she wasn't.

they left without indentifiying themselves.

SusanHere

If they had been Mormons, a 17-year old would have known it. Even a 7-year old would have known it.

They all wear name badges clearly identifying them, and they all identify themselves verbally by giving their names, the name of the Church, stating their business, and asking for an adult to come to the door. That's how it's done in the Mormon world.

And they don't carry bookbags or briefcases. If anything, it's a backpack. So they definitely look differently and use a different approach from JWs.

33

A Brief look at the "question box" September 2007 KM

by AK - Jeff in

here is the text of the box.

could someone please confirm that it is correct, as i garnered this cut and paste from a non-witness locale, and have no way to confirm that it has not been altered.. question box.

* does "the faithful and discreet slave" endorse independent groups of witnesses who meet together to engage in scriptural research or debate?matt.

SusanHere

9 But shun foolish questionings and genealogies and strife and fights over the Law, for they are unprofitable and futile.

This is typical JW scripture twisting. The Bible only warns about VAIN geneologies, which is the desire of some to link themselves to high-ranking or important family lines. Then as now there were social climbers and those needing to feel superior to others. That's their problem. Most geneology hobbiests have no such ambitions.

The Bible itself lists pages of geneology and begats. Lineage was important. The keeping of records was so detailed that today anybody who can establish legitimate connection to a Jewish line can reliably use that record to trace their own line many generations further back. Even the lineage of Christ was given in the Bible. It was important.

Today millions of people enjoy geneological research, reconnecting with their family roots, etc. It's a huge hobby, and one with few if any negative side effects. It doesn't even cost anything to do it.

So why this JW ban on something harmless? Perhaps because another religion, the Latter-day Saints, sponsor geneology libraries (the largest in the world and free to all), classes, and have local centers all over everywhere that anyone can walk into and get the assistance they need to access all the information needed to do the research.

If another religion thinks something is important, and makes it attractive and easy for JWs to participate in, then it must be a really BAAAAAD thing. People who participate in it must be really BAAAAAD people. So goes the JW logic. Plus I suppose there could be the standard "taking time away from more profitable study/meetings/service" warnings.

In reality, many JWs are involved in geneology, because they know there is no harm in it. My JW sister sought my help in finding her father, whom she hadn't seen since she was a baby. She asked for my help in researching the line, and locating him using the few clues available to her. When the family was found and a reunion arranged with surviving family members (not a totally happy ending) my sister freely gave the credit to the LDS Church, which is exactly where it belongs.

The JWs are off the mark on this one, as with so many things they ban. This one really makes no sense at all.

SusanHere

24

A bitter experience with my JW sister

by dawn48 in

hi, this is very long, sorry, but i need to talk to someone about how i feel.. i'm not a jw although for a short time i studied with them back in 1984 along with my younger sister.

my sister became a jw in 1984 and about that very same time i accepted jesus christ as my savior, but did not become a jw as i disagreed with some of their teachings.

i did and still do attend the church of god.she has four children.

SusanHere

Dawn,

I am in your situation, a non-JW with a JW sister whom I love and often send money and other assistance. She has had a hard life and seldom has two nickels to rub together.

I never made her feel small for needing help, nor expected any payback, but I did expect and demand mutual respect for us, our non-JW family and our lifestyle. That's difficult for a JW to give, and even harder to get them to give honestly.

If your sister cannot or will not honor and respect the good life you and your husband have lived and the good job you have done raising your children, then she deserves no more help from you. Sometimes tough love is the only thing that will reach someone so pigheaded. Meanwhile, your son deserves your total support.

Good luck and God bless.

56

How Many Here Actually Lock Their Doors At Night?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i'm shocked by how many people i know who live in larger towns that do not lock their doors or windows.....do you?

SusanHere

Bebu asked where hubby and I live that we've had several bad experiences. Actually, in several states. Now we're in extreme NE Washington State. I don't believe there is anyplace that is truly safe. Bad guys and psychos are like sharks in the water -- they're everywhere. All you can do is try not to draw their attention, and try to be vigilent in maintaining your own security as best you can.

A lot of people, including our own daughter, won't have a gun in their house no matter what. She grew up with them, learned to handle them safely and accurately, but now feels the risk of having one in her home is not worth the possible benefit. That's her choice. Personally I think she's being an ostrich with her head in the sand. The idea that if you don't think about it, it won't happen to you is beyond lunacy. Most victims never dreamed they would ever be victims until it happens. Then it's too late.

LeslieV. said being a law enforcement family makes us more aware of the evil men can do, or words to that effect. Yes, that's certainly true. I wish I didn't know many of the things I do regarding criminal behavior and activities.

Thank you to all those who said they also lock their bedroom doors at night. It has been voiced more than once that we're odd for doing that. We always have a solid core door with a long-reach deadbolt. It feels good to throw that lock and know we have done what we can to be snug and safe. Prayers provide the final lock on the day.

Don't be easily spooked or paranoid. Just use common sense. If the bad guys want in, they'll get in. No lock, alarm, dog, or anything else will stop them. Your job is to make it hard enough for them that they'll go elsewhere to find their next victim.

Well, on that happy note, good night all! May you all be safe.

SusanHere

56

How Many Here Actually Lock Their Doors At Night?

by minimus in

jw
friends

i'm shocked by how many people i know who live in larger towns that do not lock their doors or windows.....do you?

SusanHere

Locks everywhere, yes. Alarms, too. Guns in the house and we know how to use them. A large dog and a smaller yappy one.

We've had people break into our home, people with their noses against our windows, watching us inside, an armed intruder at night (my son awoke and the intruder ran), peeping Toms hiding in trees or bushes watching from a distance, identity theft from our mailbox contents, etc.

The list goes on and on. The least safe we've ever been was when we lived in the country, like we do now. When there are fewer people around, the dangerous ones feel they have less chance of getting caught. Lack of street lights, of close neighbors, of people who would notice strangers lurking nearby, all contribute to the sense of invincibility of the criminally minded.

Husband was state patrolman and then federal cop until retirement. Two sons are cops. We had cop cars in the driveway. That seemed to make us a more fun target. They'd wait for the car to be gone, and then come over.

Husband is a minority and I'm not, so that attracted more crazies.

Now we're on 15 acres, on a hill with lovely views, but no close neighbors. Last week I found cigarette butts in the garden. Footprints showed someone had stood by some huge trees, probably watching the house, and smoked several cigarettes. There was no reason for anyone to be there.

No place is safe. You have to protect yourself to the best of your ability. We changed the side door lock to a combination lock so that whenever we are outside, we can lock it and never worry about getting locked out if we don't have a key. If I can't see the door, it's locked.

Today, hubby and I installed a driveway alarm. It's set to alert us to any vehicles, or adult-sized people walking.

Does all this make us sound crazy ourselves? To some maybe it does. I'd rather be a little crazy in being overly cautious than to be someone's next victim. A sad commentary on the world, isn't it?

Love your neighbors, but protect yourselves from the dangerous.

SusanHere

24

a card I received that reallly upset me

by quietlyleaving in

jw
friends

a couple fo days ago two witnesses knocked with their children, they gave me flowers and a card with the following message:.

"we want you know that we love you, and that you are in our prayers..we are thinking about you.. we remember too, and are grateful for yur support in the past, especially 6 years ago, when you came to the home, following our loss of dennis (not his real name).. in these last days, life is harder then ever.

satan is trying to break all of us, be it through health problems, the ones we love and even our brothers and sisters where it hurts the most.

SusanHere

If the JWs send a note or a card, or stop by to say they missed you, it is a bad thing.

If they don't send a note or a card, or stop by to say they missed you, it is a bad thing.

How can the sincere ones win once you've left? Seems like a no-win for them no matter what they do.

SusanHere