i had the strangest dream last night.
there was a wedding and some of my family was at it.
afterward we were outside and there was a ufo in the night sky, a long skinny one like the one in the news a few weeks ago.
I had a dream about a so called armageddon last nite as well...
I knew I didn't have to be a Jw to survive what was ever going on,but there was JW's that were telling me it wasn't too late to go back.The sky was red and things felt odd.I don't recall all of the dream...it was confusing ,just like my post...lol
I thought I was over all this JW crap....
there are so many colas on the market, but 2 of them stick out.
coke and pepsi.
i love coke and hate pepsi.
Diet Pepsi
I have been drinking too much of it but have been cutting down.The stuff is hard on yah..But itsss sooooooo goooood.
Shera the popoholic....
I'm sick
My apartment makes me feel ILL....lol I told them the carpet is old. LOL
At the end,I was hung over every sunday.....so I was sick (being a JW,drove me too drink)tsk tsk
as i sat quietly in my apartment...staring at the computer screen, i got this overwhelming feeling of being totally alone.
don't get me wrong, i feel comfortable alone.
but, how did i end up this way?
I wasn't raised a JW,but I have to say I always had a hard time being social.I love being around people as long as I don't have attention drawn to me.
I felt more like a social misfit when I was a JW,they couldn't accept me for being the quite,shy person I was.I was more alone during the 5 yrs I was a JW,than the yrs before and after.I am still quite when I first meet people,but I enjoy social interaction.I do have to force myself to make small talk and be around people.
i was born into the witnesses in 1962, i was disfellowshiped when i was 18, because i decided to marry a catholic.
our first son was born 4 years later, and thinking i had to teach our son about god, which in it self is not a bad thought, so the only thing i new was the jw's teaching's, and yes i went back.. it took them 11 months to decide weather they would reinstate me, 11 month's of no one talking to me, no one coming to see my new baby, allways leaving befor the meeting was completely over, so as not to feel any more hurt then nessecary.
after i was reinstated i proceeded to raise our 3 children as jw's.
Hi,Rebuilding and welcome.
Glad your here and this is a good place to talk and relate to others.
do you believe that the gb members, and the wt writers are consciously aware of their dishonesty and deceit?
i really can't imagine, after reading so many of their articles and books, that the manipulation is by chance.
it's one thing to really believe what you are writing will help people and try to maintain authority when doing so, but i've found too many examples of outright verbal abuse.
They are just like all the other,crazy cults,who believe their own BS.If they believe it long enough,it becomes truth.
karla and i came home for a quick shower and a change of clothes.
we ask that you keep our mother and our family in your prayers.
we posted a few weeks ago that our mother had been diagnosed with pancreas cancer and was given 6-18 months with chemo.
My thoughts are with you and heres some hugs too.
Take care of your self.
i loved to be a part of the christian congregation.
i always been a good jw (18 years) and im still one.
but, internet has given me too much information on wtbts, and now i can see it is a fraud this doesnt mean i dont love jehovah or jesus, i love my brothers and sisters too, but, i cant say the same for the organization.
Hi and welcome to the board.
I understand your angry feeling towards the WTS.Even tho I always had my doubts about the them,I felt angry as well when I found out all the dirt.
I still care for many people inside the org and for God as well but I no longer believe God's Spirit is there.
That is true God doesnot change....but the org sure changes enough.
You take care and keep reading
the fear of rejection has once again controlled my life and my actions in an unintentional act of self destruction brought on by how i was raised to view life.
i have come to the conclusion that i will probably be battling this psychological whirlpool of self sabotage for the rest of my life and i do not think i have the ability to completely eliminate it.
talking about it here is a start.
Hugs to you Dave,I have to say I admire you for expressing your self like you have here.
I was glad to read you think of your children,when you feel there is nothing to go on for.All of our lives are worth living and you would be missed.
Well,its good to hear you are doing better and keep venting here when you need it.You have many people here,who want to help you along.
This may sound silly to you,but look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself you are wonderful and are worth loving.(Even with those grey hairs of yours,I bet you are still very handsome too )
Take care,hugs again...
Edited by - shera on 4 December 2002 20:47:12
besides giving up our time and assets,is there anything that you particularly felt that you truly "gave up" to become or remain a witness?
My "real" freinds.
I had nice expensive clothes,I gave away
I gave up education..(I did get my grade 12) I quite my job..went on welfare (a sister told me..use it,Jehovah put it there) For I could give to God's purpose....blahhhhhh( I work now)
Gave up on holidays...I always loved them.Glad to have them back.
I never left my family..well just on holidays.
AND I have to say,track and field ,sports.
Edited by - shera on 3 December 2002 21:27:18
