Posts by think41self

38

troubled [in need of answers]

by zev in

jw
friends

today, i had a long, long talk with my employer.

this person is some one who can seperate work and personal things, so after feeling like i needed to talk to someone, and soon, before i crack up, i went to her and dropped the bomb.

she is not a witness, and because i cannot talk to a witness about what i have learned, for fear of the df'ing thingy, i feel safe in talking to her.

think41self

Zev,

So many have given you such good thoughts and offered such support. I am here to add mine, also. (Support that is, whether the thoughts are any good is, of course, your decision)

The thought about avoiding getting df'd by claiming depression is actually a very good one. My ex-husband did suffer from depression for years, slowly quit going to meetings, now he hasn't been to a meeting for years and has had several girl friends, and no one has ever come after him! And he has witness relatives, but they aren't about to rat on him, because he's "depressed", and not responsible for his actions. Hell, I'd rather be labeled depressed by my JW relatives than "apostate", know what I mean?

Anyway, as far as your wife goes, as everyone has said, only you can make this decision. But I have to wonder, without the physical closeness in a loving relationship, how much "love" is really left in this marriage? Just my opinion. If you think there's even a chance of rekindling the love, then fight like hell for it! But if it's gone, buddy, there ain't nothin' you can do to bring it back. You can have your pain now, all at once, or hang on maybe for years longer, and still have the pain of the intervening years, and then have more pain when it all still falls apart. Me, I'd rather have my pain now, get it over with, do my grieving, and get on with my life. But that's just me. And whichever way you decide to go, a good therapist can be an invaluable aid to you in re-discovering who YOU are, and of course all the free therapy you get on this board.

Sorry I spoke so long, but your situation, and all the others who have suffered or are suffering likewise, just infuriates me! Take care of yourself, and please let us know how it's going. You know you will find unconditional acceptance here!

think41self

4

why is it?

by esther in

jw
friends

why is it that when a catholic is excommunicated, god will send him/her to hell when they die, but if a jw is disfellowshipped, the congregation sends them to hell immediately.

esther

think41self

Good question Esther!

Another witness friend of mine, who hasn't even been df'd, but saw both his teenage children df'd, put it this way:

"Not only do they push you out the door, but while you're walking away, they shoot you in the back!"

I think you've both summed it up very nicely

BTW, Esther, nice hearing from you, I don't think I officially welcomed you here. WELCOME

think41self

14

Hey, Deacs.......How's it Going?

by ISP in

jw
friends

deacon.....if you didn't know is the cross hairs of the local suited guys in shades, ala matrix.....and is to have a tete a tete with 3 of them.. you have our support, deacon.. isp

think41self

Deacon,

You have my sympathies! The other night in chat you mentioned that you might be df'd and I said we would have a party to celebrate. In retrospect, my timing was awful in saying that to you then. Not one of us enjoyed being df'd, or the consequences it brought our loved ones. It takes time and support from others to get over that initial hurt. Will you forgive me for being somewhat thoughtless?

I can promise you that the hurt will diminish, and eventually you will get to the point where you may feel like celebrating your freedom, or that of others who escape. In my own personal situation, I don't know if I ever would have totally broken free of the mental chains that go with a lifetime of being in the borg without the harsh "cutting off" of being df'd. So that was the spirit in which I said it, that it would mean your eventual freedom.

Please know that our thoughts are with you and your family, and I am very sorry that the borg has harmed another innocent family. Please let us know how you are doing, and if I meet you in chat again, you will recognize me immediately, I will be the one with their foot in their mouth!

think41self

12

My Lonnng Story...

by poohbear1962 in

several folks asked to hear my story, so here goes - i hope you don't fall asleep!!

it's a story that's been told many, many times - i was pretty much raised as a jehovahs witness (my mom was baptized when i was 6 years old), and i simply followed along and accepted for years what i was being told.

going through school, i just learned to be different (which, in some ways, is a good thing... im hoping that will make it easier to break free).

think41self

Poohbear!

Welcome to the board, and thanks for sharing your story. I know the peace you are talking about that you feel in your life now. Trust me, your children feel it, too. Anyone who takes the courageous steps you have to protect their children is SuperDuper in my book. And you never have to fear the "blustery days" again with all the support you will find here.

think41self

5

How to Reinvent Yourself After Leaving the WTS

by FreePeace in

jw
friends

several months ago, i wrote an article designed to help those who have left the wts.

it came from my own experience.. some of you have already read it, and i have received some good feedback.. if you are newer to this board, you may not have seen it.

it might help.. the article is entitled, "who am i?

think41self

Hey FreePeace...my little sweetie

Even tho I read your article when you wrote it, I went back and re-read it with the thought of all the new ones on the board(myself included, really)and I have to say again:

Wow!

You have put into words how so many of us feel on trying to figure out who we are and what we stand for without the teachings and beliefs that we felt defined us as individuals for so long. I highly recommend this article to anyone who recently left...is thinking about leaving...or just needs a reminder "lift".

Keep up the good work, Free...you have a way with words(and with your hands, lips, etc....but we won't go into that now)

think41self

11

For BugEye

by riz in

jw
friends

rizzy .

insanity in individuals is something rare- but in groups, parties, nations, and epochs it is the rule.

- nietzsche

think41self

To Bugeye's Wife:

LOLOLOL, you are as funny as he is

Thanks for joining us, we look forward to hearing more from the woman "lucky enough to have landed the great bugsy".

think41self

17

I AM NEW HERE

by PurpleV in

jw
friends

and would like to post...is this the right way to do it?

what do these icons mean?.

how do i post to a specific topic?.

think41self

Hi Purple

Welcome to this board. Hope you like it as much as the other one!
(Ha! We're better and we know it)

think41self

10

Coming Out Experiences

by Preston in

jw
friends

hi, this is my first post so i would like to get some things off of my chest.

i recently had to leave my congregation after five years after deciding to take a proactive stance regarding my beliefs and the fact that i found it necessary to come out to the congregation regarding my queerness (i usually try to stay away from labels like straight or bi since i think they are deceptive).

i was very active in my congregation: i was a ministerial servant, i handled the accounts, and i performed a lot of other duties.

think41self

Hi Preston,

Welcome to the board! I don't have a "coming out" story, at least, not like yours! I was raised as a JW and didn't escape until I was 35 years old. So in that sense, I came out.

Anyway, I hope you stick around and find lots of support and acceptance here. I think you will.

think41self

24

since i sent my DA letter

by jurs in

jw
friends

things have certainly been eventful since i sent my da letter.

it hasn't been announced at the meeting yet, but plenty seem to know!!!!!

monday a pioneer sister called me.

think41self

Jurs,

Congratulations. I was discussing this with you in chat with the group and was wondering what you had decided. Everyone made some excellent points in their responses. There are very good and valid reasons to send a letter...and there are very good and valid reasons for trying to fade quietly. Since we have to live with the consequences, it's a good thing we get to decide, huh?

Take care Jurs, and everyone else. Enjoy your freedom, your children, your life

Pathofthorns...good for you, too. If and when the time is right for you to send your letter, you will know it. In the meantime, try to spread the "good news" about apostates wherever you go!

think41self

4

Demons,ghosts,& wierd happenings

by Liberty in

jw
friends

i love this subject.

i just wanted to point out that i am not a complete skeptic about these things i just think that there are many possible explainations besides the standard jw "it was demons" response.

firstly, i'd like to reinterate that i respect the reality of your experiances in the realm of the para-normal so i'm not arguing that you are all lying or that you're crazy, i am merely questioning the cause of the event.

think41self

Liberty,

I'm with you. I think there are many possible answers to why these experiences happen. And your point is good, if it were demons, don't you think they would be having a lot more fun with people, and making big splashes...kind of like in the ghostbuster's movies!

I for one am keeping an open mind, one which is not afraid to analyze things, even strange and unusual things. Like how the hell does Fred Hall manage to read, or even type, with his head up his ass like that? We've all been enjoying your family pics that TR and Slayer have been posting. Hope you send them some more

think41self