Beepers,
Welcome to this board I am so sorry you have had such experiences with the JW's. It is not unusual for them to be unforgiving towards "sinners" in their own hall. Especially if you're young and female...all the jealous old women will be watching you, and the twisted old men will wish they could hear about your "sins".
If you are no longer wanting to be a JW, why can't you go back and re-establish a relationship with your family and friends you had before? I would think they would be happy to have you back. Just a suggestion.
Anyway, keep posting and letting us know how you are doing.
think41self
"Not believing is not the same as not knowing."