Tinkerbell4125

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Posts by Tinkerbell4125

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  36

  Another JW suicide

  by Mulan in

  1. watchtower
  2. scandals

  i have just learned that there was another jw suicide in western washington (south king county) last weekend.

  the man was a young adult, in good standing, married and doing well financially.

  i can't reveal more, and this one didn't hit the news either.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Mulan, I love to sit on my front porch and watch it rain! I love storms! But I'm in Tennessee and we probably don't get as much rain as you.

  I agree with you about this suicide. I think there's more to it than meets the eye. Unfortunately suicide brings out the worst in people and leaves a lot of unanswered questions.

  My father told my mother that he was sick and tired of being sick and tired right before he put a pistol to his head and pulled the trigger. It has taken me a long to time discuss this and when I do discuss it, I'm careful where I bring it up. I'm always careful not to put someone in a uncomfortable position. I've done that before, leaving me feeling ashamed. It will be seven years in Oct. since he took his life. No note was ever found. He suffered from depression and should have been treated for it. He had said to his homehealth nurse that he would never go back into the hospital if his health got bad. I learned alot after the fact. The family that is going through this tragady right now has joined into a club that no one ever wants to enter into!!! I feel bad for the family. My heart goes out to them. For them, it will be like someone dropped a atomic bomb on them and left a pink elephant right in the middle of the room and NO one will talk about it. First shell shock, then a whirl wind of every emotion you can imagine. It is definantly a trip my friend. I've come a long way, I'm even writing a book about it. It's called.....

  He left no note

  Thanks for sharing this experience with us. People need to know! I've even volunteered my time to help a board of professial counselors understand what I was going through. It was about 50 doctors and counselors. Before we talked we all watched a movie about suicide called..... After Jimmy

  Not only did it help them, it helped me in my healing process. It is better to talk about it when you can.

  I'm so thankful to this place for letting me vent my feelings.

  Tink =:o)
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  27

  Is there life AFTER leaving?!!??!

  by Perfection Seeker in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my name is melissa.

  i am 33 years old.

  my parents started studying when i was 5. i am trying to leave the orgainization, but keep getting pulled back in.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I'm 42.... My parents are dead. Father completed suicide *96* and mother breast cancer *99*. Four out of eleven children or j.w.'s. There's no way for me to explain in a few words what it's like to go through all the things that has happened since then, but Iong story short, I d'f'ed myself in 1999. I couldn't handle the way the org. handled me personally in a situation. It was tough losing my mom, knowing that she feared not ever seeing me again. She told me, right before she died, that the only fear she had in life, was not seeing all her children in the new order. Needless to say, I felt like total shit after that. My dad was wild and crazy.......and also mean. It will be seven years since his suicide and with a lot of study, I realize his mental condition. I understand a lot of things a lot better now.

  Over the years I've been through the same situation's that I hear here. After wearing myself totally out, trying to interact with the j.w.'s, I just can't do it anymore. I love my j.w. siblins, but I've giving up hope on ever trying to change them.

  My husband left the org. when I did, so that was good. Now I only associate with my siblins that I have a healthy relationship with, weather it's j.w. or not. If it's a toxic relationship, I'm gone. Simple as that. I'm at a point now, where, I feel that I'm more than half way through my life. I'm not gonna spend the rest of it in turmoil.

  I have this moment, in time, right now, I'm not real sure about the future. I do know that I have a good heart and I'm trying to live right. I remember when I was six years old, studying with this couple with the rest of my family. I remember sitting with the sister and she was helping me count down to the year 1975 on my fingers. I remember saying, *In seven more years ARMEGEDDEN IS COM'IN!!!*. I gave the borg. a lot of years of my life. I feel I've paided a big price for being raised in this cult. Growing up, my dad bitterly opposed mom and the org. There was never any sense of calm in my home, only fear and frustration for me. We were beat by our dad and mom stood by and watched. I could go on, but I wont.

  Now I have my little life with alittle bit of piece. I want to keep it that way. I can see me and my j.w. siblin's slowing drifting apart. There will be a time when there will be no reason at all for us to interact. I may see them at the next family funeral. I feel they have to live their life. I have to live mine. We are civil towards each other. I'm slowly learning that there are going to be things in life that we have no control over. I'm learning to take it one day at a time.

  There is life after the borg. Everyone's jouney is different, but all can relate in many ways, can't we. We know that we can come here and vent our feelings and know that the person reading on the other side, understand exactly what we're going through.

  I think Mr. Moe put it so well in her post! I loved that!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Peace to you all!

  Tink =;o)
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  33

  Couples that leave the JWs together.

  by MegaDude in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for married couples who ended up leaving the jws together, which spouse broke from the jws first?

  what was your reaction to your spouse leaving at first?

  what made you decide to finally leave with your spouse?.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Mulen, Megadude, Olympaid, thank-you for sharing your post! I've enjoyed reading your experiences.

  Olympaid, I just want to give you a big hug. My heart goes out to you so much right now! Hang in there buddy!

  Tink =:o)
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  31

  What do you listen to?

  by terafera in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what song do you put on when you're sad?

  is there a certain song that never fails to tear you up and why?.

  what do you listen to when you're in a good mood?

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  Tinkerbell4125

  sigh..............Dave Matthews......................
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  28

  YES!!!!!! Shunning has backfired!!

  by Dawn in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was df'd a number of years ago.

  my parents never shunned me - they didn't feel that df'ing broke the family ties.

  but when my brothers or uncle were in town i was "allowed" to come visit at certain times when their other jw friends would not be around.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Dawn, thank-you for sharing your story! You've got a terrific kid!!!

  How your story hit home in so many ways! My parents had a anniversary party once. I heard about it *afterwards*. At the time, it hurt and I'm sure I was depressed about it, but now, it's a different story for me, I will always continue to love my family, that will never change, for me, they are my family and I can't help but feel that way towards them, but......

  I realize now, that I can love them, but I can love them from afar. Not to sound too geeky, I read a book on Toxic people. It was basically about having positive people in your life, staying busy with people you love and love you back in a healthy way, it doesn't have to be blood-relative to be as family.

  Now that my parents are dead, I find myself in new phase of life. I have a few siblins that I find that I am bonding with and feel that it will be that way till I'm old. The other siblins, I will hear about through the grapevine, but that will be okay too. The dust has settled on many things over the years and things are actually looking good for me. I'm going to hold on to that very tight. I do miss some of my siblins, but j.w. or not, if they aren't totally real with me, and it's not a healthy, then I'm not wasting my time. The extra free time that I do have, will be spent with people that love and except me for who I am and nothing less, nothing more.

  Life is good!

  Dawn, tell your son that your buddies here on the board think he's a pretty special kid!

  Tink =;o)
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  33

  Couples that leave the JWs together.

  by MegaDude in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  for married couples who ended up leaving the jws together, which spouse broke from the jws first?

  what was your reaction to your spouse leaving at first?

  what made you decide to finally leave with your spouse?.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I remember my hubby warning me of *apostate* sites!!! Looking back, it still blows my mind. I was first to go then hubby right behind! I can not imagine if I were out and he was still *in*.

  Most of my j.w. siblin's have computer's. I wish, so much, that they would read and learn. You never know!!!

  How about you Megadude! What was your situation? =:o)

  Tink =;o)
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  82

  Name some must have rock records

  by Leander in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've spent a lot of time on allmusic.com and it amazes me how much nirvana is mentioned when the reviewers rate other albums.

  so its a no brainer that nirvana's work should probably have a place in every rock collection, but what are some other albums every rock fan should listen to if not own.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  Yeap, I agree with all the ol classic's, but as far as current goes, I luv Dave Mathews........ yum yum yum

  Tink =;o)
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  13

  My Dad AND MIL In The Hospital

  by TR in

  1. watchtower
  2. medical

  what a day.. my dad has pnuemonia and my mil had a neck artery angyoplasty or something like that.

  in the same hospital, even.

  i'll know more tomorrow, i guess.. later, .

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  Tinkerbell4125

  T.R. keep us posted about your dad.

  I hope he's doing better.

  Is he a hoavh?

  Tink =:o)
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  9

  growing up JW DOES DAMAGE (re-post)

  by lisaBObeesa in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  good post!

  but there are those who stay for other reasons.

  even though they know the beliefs and practices are wrong, they cannot bring themselves to pay the price for leaving.

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  Tinkerbell4125

  On a positive note.....

  Even though it hurts to read reports like this, I also feel it's importan to know these thingst. I'm very grateful to be out of the org. I've come a long way and life is good. Just think, what if we were still in the org!!!! I swear, I just can't imagine! I do miss my j.w. and other siblin's, but I'm learning to let go also

  I have found the love in family in other forms, some family, some friends, even neighbors.

  There is life after the borg...and it can be good!

  Tink =;o)
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  79

  What are you listening to right now?

  by LDH in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the soundtrack of o brother, where art thou?.

  lisa

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  Tinkerbell4125

  I'm chill'in to Dave Matthews. I am so in luv with him!

  Tink =;o)