At least "the name" is being kept before the people.
Posts by TMS
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17ABC News Runs This Headline: "Calif Jury Awards $28M in Jehovah's Sex Abuse Case"
by TMS inat least "the name" is being kept before the people..
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Occasional feelings of sadness about the JW experience
by Mr Facts indo you feel occassionally sad when you flash back at your life as a jw, may be you occassionally become overshadowed by regrets and bitter feelings and not knowing exactly what caused it.. some regretted wasted life while others regretted being trapped in what they feel was a cult.
do you experience anything similar.
how do you usually surmon up courage to stand up and forge ahead?.
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TMS
Rather than being overcome by an occasional melancholy mood from an unidentified source, with over 50 years in the cult, I know exactly where my where life went. It's not difficult to go back to critical junctures and see what steps could have and should have been taken. There are silly ways to rationalize things: I could have died in the Viet Nam War or from a drug overdose had I not been a JW or born in a different era, different country with different parents. None of that takes away the ache of a wasted life.
Both my wife and I probably needed some counseling when we exited the religion, but we would never have submitted to it, didn't believe in it and still don't feel that outide this board, much real therapeutic interaction exists for ex-JW's. I have greatly benefitted from my 11 years on this board, although I'm a very infrequent poster now. When I retired in 2004 I found myself living my entire life over again in my dreams with many of the conversations, the anger renewed in my mind. I do sleep more peacefully now, but nearly every minute I'm aware of being and ex-JW.
Quite by accident about 2 years ago, my wife and I found a slight niche we could fill in our community. After receiving some notoriety for stopping a corrupt, backdoor deal by our city, I started writing a blog with my wife contributing pictures and video. We began to receive anonymous tips about corruption, bribes, rigged bidding etc. in our area. In a weird alternate universe, we now work together much as we did as JW's for many years. Without being too trite, this sort of gives our life direction and purpose.
My wife and I differ about whether or not to share our JW background. She believes in total openness, while I can't think of a single situation that benefitted by revealing my former religion.
I'm sorry, Mr. Facts. I forgot the question.
tms
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Lamenting All the Sparlock MIssed Out On Growing Up JW
by TMS inthere are too many individual activities to enumerate, but all of the extra-curricular, bad-association oriented activity that taught life skills, people skills and survival skills are symbolized by sparlock.
scouting, ballroom dancing, exchanging valentines, sports, chess, clubs and school politics are just a few.. academic achievement is another.
jwism undermines that, to be sure.
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TMS
There are too many individual activities to enumerate, but all of the extra-curricular, bad-association oriented activity that taught life skills, people skills and survival skills are symbolized by Sparlock. Scouting, ballroom dancing, exchanging Valentines, sports, chess, clubs and school politics are just a few.
Academic achievement is another. JWism undermines that, to be sure.
Money management.
Choosing a life partner from the large pool, not the tiny, restricted entrance pool. Getting to know that person before committing.
Enjoying life's pleasures without guilt.
Just a few of the Sparlocks missed.
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After Reinstatement
by NewChapter ini never had anyone close to me d'fd when i was still in my jw daze.
but i know that once it happens, good friends are crushed and desperately want that person reinstated.
when they are reinstated, there is a lot of (quiet) celebration.
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TMS
The father in the parable of the prodigal son called for a party as he saw his son returning. Jehovah's Witnesses impose restrictions that are closely monitored until "privileges" are restored piecemeal. So, unlike the parable, there is no celebration, let alone forgiveness. The Society imposed, elder enforced restrictions create a climate of cautious tolerance of the reinstated person.
The reinstated person is, at best, "spiritually weak," and you know how JW's are cautioned against close association with such ones.
Some time ago the Watchtower caution JW's against clapping when someone's reinstatement was announced. "They haven't proven anything yet," was the implied message and I think that's the spirit in which reinstated ones are received now.
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Pioneers and Their Way of Counting "Time"
by Eiben Scrood inin the congregations in my area there was an expression to the effect that 'there's counting time and then there's the way pioneers count their time'.
the watchtower's guidelines were pretty strict on when time could be counted.
some pioneers followed it and others didn't.. on particularly motivated young man comes to mind, he would work full-time or close to it and pioneer.
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TMS
There was a hilarious thread on this a few years ago.
Two examples I remember: One brother lived on the fourth floor of an apartment building. He woke at 6am, opened his window, allowing a "New World" tract to fall gently to the ground below. Field service time started, he took his shower.
Another brother mentioned that just after he had signed up to auxiliary pioneer, his car broke down. He reasoned that his car was a necessary tool in Kingdom service. It took him all month to rebuild the engine, but he reported that time on his monthly report.
tms
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How Did/Has the WTBTS Affected Your Social Skills?
by ABibleStudent ingood or bad?
how did/has the wtbts affected your social skills, social development, and/or how you interact with other people?
i have many questions about different social skills that i will ask either after other people post to this thread or to keep this thread active.
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TMS
It's a mixed bag really. I'm not a ballroom dancer, but that is true of many men. Much of social etiquette is simply common sense, graciousness. Many years of pioneering and as an elder and, of course, public speaking, made me sort of a conversationalist and at first I tried a bit too hard to prove that I belonged. Now, I/we mix easily with professionals with advanced degrees, judges, lawyers, public officials and we show an interest in them.
It's almost morbid to say this, but all those years on judicial committees taught me how to ask questions. I write a blog, which is a must read for people in our city of 200,000. I would have answered this question differently 10 years ago, but now I see that the JW background is sort of an advantage in social settings. Of course, we're not on the same financial footing as any of these people, but we don't act subservient. The publicity, coverage and possible criticism we are capable of gives us a certain standing in this community and the people skills we employ are largely from JWdom.
tms
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"I worked hard as a Ministerial Servant and all I got was this lousy drinking problem!"
by Mr. Falcon ini was driving home the other evening pondering the past couple of turbulant years for me and my family.
i reflected back on my appointment as a ministerial servant and my attitude, beliefs and thinking at the time.
i thought about the subsequent misery that being a servant brings once the the glow wears off and people stop "commending you on your fine spiritual progress.
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TMS
TMS - That was an incredible story. Ya know what the problem is? If I try to share it with my wife, I'll be met with......"you actually believe that? It came from an apostate website! He is obviously making it up!" It is so sad that you cannot get them to see anything outside of their Truman Show type bubble
The story was not embellished in any way, simply accurate. When the appointment letter was initially read to the body of elders, one of my fellow elders could see the anguish on my face and tapped me on the shoulder, saying: " a little disillusioning, huh?"
Here's another incident that happened about 20 years later. I was in a large metropolitan congregation with 11 on our elder body. One of the elders confessed to an emotional affair with his secretary, a young JW girl. He confessed that she had become an emotional confidante and that they had kissed. Two elders were assigned to investigate, sometimes called an exploratory committee. Subsequent to their report, no judicial committee was formed, but the brother was removed as an elder.
About six months later, we were assigned a new circuit overseer. A couple of us noticed that the new circuit overseer and the former elder were a bit chummy, but thought no more about it. On the night the circuit overseer meets with the elders considering, among other things, new recommendations for ministerial servant and elder, this former elder's name was put into play by the circuit overseer himself. He was not on the list of brothers we elders submitted for consideration. During an excruciatingly long meeting, the circuit overseer described how remorseful this brother was, that they had had private meetings where both men had shed tears. He wanted the brother to be recommended again as an elder. This was a very experienced, older elder body, not easily moved. Many concerns were expressed about the effect on the congregation, the effect on this young JW girl and her immediate family, etc.
In the wee hours of the morning, a sort of compromise was reached. Two elders would approach this young woman and her parents, asking if they would be stumbled if this former elder was reappointed. The circuit overseer insisted that be handled before Sunday, the last day of his visit. The two brothers reported in our brief meeting with the circuit overseer after the Sunday meeting that the family indicated they would not be stumbled. The CO added the name of the former elder to our list of recommendations.
Two or three weeks later the appointments came back, The former elder was reappointed, but there was more. An accompanying letter named him as City Overseer. He was also named as Assembly Overseer for the circuit and named as head of the Hospital Liason.
For several years, leadership roles continued this brother's way. He became a substitute Circuit Overseer and a Kingdom Ministry School Instructor. He even gave the public talk at a District Assembly which is unusual for a congregation elder.
Then, more problems surfaced. He owned a small company that sold cell phones, beepers and the associated plans. Several brothers who worked for him noticed that their employer F.I.C.A taxes had not been paid. After an investigation, the brother was again removed as an elder.
Where was the holy spirit in all of this?
tms
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"I worked hard as a Ministerial Servant and all I got was this lousy drinking problem!"
by Mr. Falcon ini was driving home the other evening pondering the past couple of turbulant years for me and my family.
i reflected back on my appointment as a ministerial servant and my attitude, beliefs and thinking at the time.
i thought about the subsequent misery that being a servant brings once the the glow wears off and people stop "commending you on your fine spiritual progress.
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TMS
Mr. Falcon,
just a few thoughts. . . . . . You're on to something. For those of us who truly believed Jehovah had a hand in all of this, the "appointment by holy spirit" belief was a confirmation that, despite our personal foibles, secret sins and unclean thoughts, the God of the universe, who could read us, knew us better than anyone, was overlooking all of that and certifying as a a spiritual man.
As a congregation overseer at the age of 21, I found some of the other Biblical anecdotes unsettling. For example, the concept that each congregation mention in Revelation had a "star" which we were taught was the congregation overseer. As a young man shuttled across the country to become a troubled congregation's overseer, I did not feel like a star. It was easy to see that many in the community who were not even witnesses were more substantial than me.
In the mid 70's I saw positive proof that appointments were not made by H.S. I'll make this as succinct as possible. Two brothers were recommended as elders. The appointment letter from "the slave," appointed only one. The reason given for the non-appointment was simply put: "too young and not long enough in the truth." What the body of elders found curious is that the one appointed was the younger of the two with fewer years as a JW. It was obvious that the Society had made an error. The kicker was that many on the body did not want to question the odd contradiction, citing the holy spirit's role. The real truth was that the one not appointed was of a minority race. Those of the majority race were reluctant to risk their favorite being unappointed somehow and the minority gain the appointment. As the Congregation Secretary(a new position at that time), I circumvented the local turmoil, sending the Society a letter signed by the Service Committee with several specific questions. I was really curious as a true believer in holy spirit appointments how this would all work out.
Two weeks later the "answer" was received form "Mother." A check mark was placed next to the one originally not appointed. No explanation. No answer to our questions. The man the Society had designated as "too young" and "too new" was appointed as was the other man who was younger and newer.
This was proof to me that holy spirit had nothing to do with the appointments.
tms
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How Will They Keep JW Youths In?
by minimus inis it possible for today's youths to remain in the religion?.
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TMS
My wife and I did a quick survey. We have 15 nephews and nieces raised as JWs between the ages of 25 and 50. All but one of the families were zealous in the religion with one family considered spirtually "weak". Only nephew one remains an active JW. He is mentally challenged married to a similarly challenged JW woman.
The others have spent recent years trying to overcome the poor start they got in life financially, emotionally and socially stemming from the JW belief system. We interact with most of them from time to time although we have almost no contact with their JW parents. At least a couple seem occupied with the normal family raising, making a living, etc. One is in prison, while another has been in and out of jails.
One was eager to show me a tattoo he got of the tetragrammaton. Another confided in me, while puffing on a cigarette: "My dad wants to be KOBE so bad he can taste it." At least 4 use drugs. 2 are in college. One took paramedic training. Several have been disfellowshipped, one twice.
No pioneers, elders, ministerial servants, Gileadites, Bethelites or even microphone handlers in the lot.
tms
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Too many partakers in the org? Help is on the way!
by Billy the Ex-Bethelite inis someone in your congregation confused?
coming soon to the local congregations:.
anointification neutralizer100 suppositories.
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TMS
I'm not opposed to a pharmaceutical remedy, but maybe just old-fashioned new light would do the trick. How about this? The number 144,000 becomes understood as symbolic of all of the anointed ones living on earth throughout history and up to the Great Tribulation. The professed anointed swells to a million or two worldwide. Some congregations actually now order memorial wine by the case.
This could add much intrigue to what has become a sort of an uninspired religious group. Many who serve as elders and elderettes now realize that the new light awakens in them certain doubts that they truly had an earthly calling. They finally feel at home with confirmation of what they have ownly known subconsciously, that they were predestined as a class to rule as kings with Christ. Humbly, they accept that confirmation.
This could also lead to the writing, printing and distribution of a whole new series of paperback Bible aids dealing with the the heavenly calling. Individual servants of Jehovah would have to prayerfully reconsider their true calling. What if entire bodies of elders were truly annointed? What a blessing that could be to a congregation! Age, sex, race or educational status would not be considered barriers to this wonderful, blessed, special relationship with Christ.
Of course, God's ways differ greatly from man's. The humility and loyalty of both the anointed and their Great Crowd companions could be tested at times. Perhaps, a mature, seasoned elder with the earthly hope is working in field service with a homeschooled, chubby 17 year old who has the heavenly calling. The youth will defer to the elder's experience, knowledge and seasoning, whereas the elder will respectfully recognize God's selection and spirit anointing of the young person.