UrMinds, Welcome to the Board
You seem angry. Have you had a bad experience in this area?
it has become apparent to me, through many of your stories that jw's seem to have a hard time staying with their spouses who leave the borg.
i was wondering if this is just a case by case thing or are they in fact encouraged to leave spouses who no longer believes.
it seems strange that they would encourage that seeing as how we are instructed to stay in marriages even with a non-believer if they are happy to stay in the marriage.
UrMinds, Welcome to the Board
You seem angry. Have you had a bad experience in this area?
it has become apparent to me, through many of your stories that jw's seem to have a hard time staying with their spouses who leave the borg.
i was wondering if this is just a case by case thing or are they in fact encouraged to leave spouses who no longer believes.
it seems strange that they would encourage that seeing as how we are instructed to stay in marriages even with a non-believer if they are happy to stay in the marriage.
Hi Gopher
I agree with you that communication is crucial, that is why I said that there must be a mutual motivation to stay together. Even if both people communicate, if they are not motivated to withstand the WTBTS manipulation...the relationship will end. Its so sad that an organization can and will wreck so many lives. As I said before, I really dont know how I would handle such a situation. I commend those of you who have been through marital struggles and maintained your integrity. You have strength and wisdom that I have yet to acquire.
I like surveys, too.
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i have only been active on the board for a short time (compared to all of you masters, jedis, emperors, and supremes
Awww...thanks, Dede!
I think my favorite change has been recovering my individuality.
the other day i was on the computer and i moved some files on jws into documents as i was in a hurry,didn't think anymore of it.. my grandsons came over who are jws and joined my son on the computer,my son went into documents and my grandsons saw the files and asked him why i had them, of course my son didn't know quite what to say and he didn't tell me until after they had gone home.
i am worried that they may tell their mum and dad what they saw.
if my son asks me why i have these files what should i say because i need to be careful.my family is everything to me especially my grandchildren.. qca1
Were the files obviously critical of the WTBTS? (Ex. JWs Are Bad.doc, Pied Elder.jpg) If not, it is possible that they didn't see anything suspicious.
it has become apparent to me, through many of your stories that jw's seem to have a hard time staying with their spouses who leave the borg.
i was wondering if this is just a case by case thing or are they in fact encouraged to leave spouses who no longer believes.
it seems strange that they would encourage that seeing as how we are instructed to stay in marriages even with a non-believer if they are happy to stay in the marriage.
I have never been married, so I do not have the authority to say how one should handle the conflicts that arise when two people diverge on incompatible spiritual paths. But...
Obviously, I believe that one has the right to leave the WTBTS while still involved with an active JW; however, I am not so sure that it is right to demand that your partner leave with you. The teachings of the organization may seem irrational to us now, but part of respecting an individuals autonomy is giving them the freedom to make their own discoveries and learn their own lessons. That may mean watching someone you love struggle in the clutches of a tyrannical cult...but once you have shared your new found truth with someone, there isnt much more you can do to convince them.
Its a very difficult place to be in, but if your life with your partner goes beyond your life within the WTBTS...I believe there is hope. There are many couples out there that will fall apart under the stress of disfellowshipping/disassociation, but if there is mutual love and motivation to stay together...any relationship can survive.
OrbitThe Uber Romantic
here it is, late in the day, christmas is almost over this year.
i hope everyone enjoyed theirs as much as i have enjoyed mine.
i went to my oldest daughters to spend the day with them.
Awww, great pictures you all! Good times
oh my god, you guys!
some jehovahs witnesses just came to my house--and of course my latest strategy is to hide and let someone else answer the door, or not answer the door at all.
well, my younger brother is home from his first semester at college and he just happened to be near the door when they came knocking... .
LOL! You all are too funny! If I show this to him he will think he is a god...and we all know that a little brother that thinks he is a god is nothing but trouble! LOL
This actually wasn't the first time he did something wild to get rid of religious zealots. One time in ocean city a woman approached him and told him the story of how she gave her life to Christ...She said that one day she woke up in bed with 4 strange men and she knew that it was time to make a change. So he told her "If I ever wake up in bed with 4 strange men, I'll get back to you" and walked away.
He is quite a character! LOL
how do you feel about yourself?
do you struggle with what kind of person that you are?
do you feel happy, empty, or are are you apathetic?
I measure my self worth with a little transparent ruler that says "Figmentum" in black letters. Yes, it is a Metric ruler. I like it, but Saint Satan's method seems interesting. I would like to think that I am worthwhile merely because I exist...or maybe do away with the need for "self worth" altogether.
Edited To Add:
Right on, Czar! I agree with you, I really do I wanted to say something thoughtful like that, but it's midnight (after Christmas) and I am sleepy.
Edited by - OrbitingTheSun on 26 December 2002 0:26:27
i was just wondering what was the most astounding thing you guys have had a jw say to you.
whether it was while you were still in the borg or after you left.
i've heard some rather funny stories on this subject.
LB, that has to be one of the most despicable things I have heard...although it does not surprise me. How did you have the composure to respond so gently??