Posts by gingerbread

62

Discussion w/ Wife: I Welcome Your Suggestions

by breakfast of champions in

so these last few wts have definitely eroded my wife's faith in the org.

she is definitely seeing the bs, and i even overheard her talking openly about it to a family member.

good for her!.

gingerbread

The two examples that your wife refers to - refusal to perform military duty and regular involvement in field service - are interesting because they require similar responses by the baptized Jehovah's Witness.

Both examples require action based on beliefs imbedded in WT doctrine. The belief system imposes these rules upon the individual. The individual risks discomfort, social stigma, persecution, imprisonment and even death. The risks are glorified through constant reinforcement in the WT publications and talks.

Your wife (like most other JW's) holds the examples of persons who sacrificed their own lives (figuratively or actually) in this way as prime examples of faith.

I suspect that she gets emotional just thinking about these examples. Perhaps she is trying to reduce her cognitive dissonance right now.

Maybe she is questioning how someone could risk their own life for a belief system / doctrine that continues to change...

Using facts and figures may not help right now. It's her feelings and emotions that are churning.

ginger

25

How do I get them to stop houding me?

by lostinthought in

jw
friends

i stopped attending all meetings this summer.

i prefer not to be dfed or to da myself.

i just want to be inactive.

gingerbread

You can't stop them.

But you can control how you react.

You can show up at a Sunday meeting about once a month for a while - and deal with the 'encouraging' comments and questions. That will keep you on the 'o.k.' list for a while. Turn in a time slip with an hour or two. Skip the next month.

Don't answer the door or phone. Don't return messages. Don't argue or try to prove a point. Don't make excuses.

NEVER indicate that you are having doubts about the 'truth' or 'new light'. It will just open up a can of worms.

Fade slow and smart.

AnnOMaly

If you visit the Hall or see anyone from the Hall just smile, be pleasant and polite. Show them that you're happy.

They can't argue with NO. They can't communicate with you - if you ignore them.

This method is working for us!

ginger

60

I can't take this crap anymore. It's time to get pro-active!

by BONEZZ in

ive been around this board for quite awhile.

it has helped immensely.

lately i just read everyone elses experiences and try and forget the whole nightmare...but i cant.

gingerbread

Divorce is one of the most difficult and painful things to go through during life. It's a death in the family without a person being buried. The real victims are always the children. And the process injures parents and grandparents. Perhaps your daughter is acting out. Is she mimicking behavior - of the religion or her parents? Divorce is the result of relationships without honesty, communication and often times passive / aggressive behavior.

If you want to continue the pain, trash your daughter in public (on YouTube...really??). My comments are meant to encourage honest communication between you and your daughter. Perhaps you're still hurting because of the failed marriage. Do you think your daughter is on your ex-wife's 'side'? Do you still want to 'fight' with your ex? Is it really your ex that you want to trash in public?

ginger

By the way, I was raised as a full blown JW, married out of obligation (because of the rules) and spent over a decade of my life miserable. Children came from this 'mirage'. I learned to act like an adult after the divorce. I took responsibility for myself and my relationship with my kids. It was much better for my children and myself when I learned to 'move on' from a failed marriage.

60

I can't take this crap anymore. It's time to get pro-active!

by BONEZZ in

ive been around this board for quite awhile.

it has helped immensely.

lately i just read everyone elses experiences and try and forget the whole nightmare...but i cant.

gingerbread

You'll be punishing your daughter - in public ??

As wannaexit says "I hate this religion."

Your ex-wife has allowed the religion to destroy the natural relationship between father and daughter. Show your daughter that you're a better person than that.

Accept the fact that your daughter is an adult...and set the right example yourself.

Grow up and be a Dad to your only daughter.

ginger

28

Apostles were first governing body????

by NeverKnew in

and paul was not a part of the governing body????

am i hearing this correctly or are these people making things up?.

gingerbread

Catholics (and other Christian denominations) believe in the first century 'Council of Jerusalem' or 'Apostolic Conference'. This group of older Christians debated on the issue of circumcision. Catholics date this council as convening in the year 50.

Jehovah's Witnesses have adapted the idea of a central council and applied it to the Governing Body in New York.

The difference :

The 1st century council decided on ONE issue concerning the Christian congregation.

The 21st century Governing Body dictates every aspect of an individual JW's thought, feelings, career, education, finances, entertainment, association, career choices, medical choices, family relationships and more...

ginger

13

CHRISTIANS: Are we meant to identify the last days?

by Zoos in

i've been reading articles from ronald e. frye's, the christian respondent.

he puts forward this understanding of mark 13, mathew 24 and luke 21:.

(1) the destruction of jerusalem is set forth in graphic detail.

gingerbread

For the past 10 centuries, there is historic evidence of persons in the Western world who identified the time period they were living in as 'the last days' based on the writings of 1st century christians. It requires a 'parallel fulfillment' of prophecy.

This method of explaination of scripture produces a fundamentalist/literalist form of christianity.

ginger

30

Did a householder at the door ever cause you doubts

by perfect1 in

recently on a saturday morning there was a knock on my door.

two ladies asked me if i was familiar with the jws.

i said: yes unfortunatley.

gingerbread

Growing up 'witnessing' in the rural southern US, most folks were very polite and listened. In fact they listened to their detriment.

JW's that moved from in the north ("to help where the need was greater") were overwelmed by the "amazing, positive response" they got at the door. Everyone invited you in to talk about the bible. Little did the newcomers understand that this was southern hospitality....and when you left the house, the 'householders' were trash talking you before you reached the car.

As an adult I began to doubt the 'work' that was being done. Pioneers who went out all week - driving around the county 'doing calls' - and never brought anyone to the Hall. My obligitory Saturday service morning was spent riding around in a car and at the local Hardees with a biscuit and coffee.

A sense of urgency? Not with me...or anyone else.

ginger

29

Am I in a "cool hall " or what?

by ?me? in

jw
friends

anybody else in the situation i am?

me and the wife go to a hall that is pretty "hands off".

i have not really been out in service for probably 1.5 years and my wife has went out maybe 3 times in the last year.

gingerbread

I walked the same tightrope as you for the past couple of years. Last spring the brother in charge of our 'service group' called for our time. He then qualified his question with 'not that you show up for service anymore'.

Now I don't report any service time (real or imagined).

ginger

67

3 more branches closed?

by Viva la Vida in

jw
friends

it seems the finland branch has taken over the work from estonia, latvia and lithuania (see http://www.jw.org/en/jehovahs-witnesses/offices/finland/).

gingerbread

You are correct Scotoma. Of course it all depends on the 'slice' of the statistics that are examined - especially in terms of percentage of gain.

For example, when a small country is cited in the Yearbook with publishers increasing from 12 to 24 over the previous year...oh my! They've had an increase of 100%. That's not such a 'big deal' when it's realized the the country's population is ten million.

In 1980 there was just over 2 million active JW's. Twenty years later the numbers jumped to 6 million. In the eyes of all of us active during those years, 'we' had grown beyond our wildest imagination. During that time the money was filling the contribution boxes and the push to build additional branches came with it.

From a personal perspective, I can only remember back to the time when Jehovah's Witnesses had 1 million publishers.

ginger

29

Am I in a "cool hall " or what?

by ?me? in

jw
friends

anybody else in the situation i am?

me and the wife go to a hall that is pretty "hands off".

i have not really been out in service for probably 1.5 years and my wife has went out maybe 3 times in the last year.

gingerbread

?me?

I'm assuming that you still turn in a monthly service report - there's no way they would allow an inactive JW to work with an RBC. That's strictly against their 'rulebook'.

ginger