Posts by Pickler

35

Does being a "born in" blur parental vs JW issues?

by obfuscatetheobvious in

thank you to the many people who have posted their experiences and advice on this site!

i have browsed a few topics but the threads that i seem to gravitate to the most deal with family.

there is certainly a lot that i can relate to in many of the anecdotes i have read.

Pickler

Hey obfuscate,

You are right, it's not always the religion that's the problem!

My husband & son clash every now & again, and it's so tiresome because you can just see the tensions building. Basically it's the stereotypical dominant male clashing with the up and coming dominant male!!!!

I can only imagine this would be worse if the father actually tried to say that he had the might of God and a whole religion on his side!!!

i can occasionally warn my husband to back down, but, more often, I just get the hell out of the way!!!

32

Perfume / Cologne

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

there are some perfumes that i absolutely just love and a little squirt of it can bring back such good memories, make you feel sexy.

my favorite is dolce & gabbana (red), followed by d&g "the one", followed by coco chanel .

on men, i love the smell of the original hugo boss - used to make my tummy clench in a good way .

Pickler

Issey Miyake I've been wearing this for years, it's a "green" kind of smell, light & beautiful

i also wear happy by Clinique. This is a funny one, whenever I wear it I get lots of compliments & people are shocked when I tell them what it is. They say they don't like the smell of it from the bottle, but, on my skin at least it changes in to something lovely.

Recently I have been covering myself n scented body oils & coconut oil, which has been a nice alternative to strong perfumes.

oh...green tea by Elizabeth Arden is lovely.

i have a sentimental favourite white musk from the body shop, reminds me of my teens

23

The Experts- Jehovahs Witnesses

by jean-luc picard in

jw
friends

i was thinking this weekend of a brother i first met when i was a teenager.. not yet an elder, this brother was very outspoken, and was viewed a kind of hero to the r&f.. an inexperienced teen, i also believed ( influenced by others) that this guy was a godsend.. looking back, with the eyes of a more mature person, i now consider him an arrogant self opinionated bully.. he later became an elder and i might add that he also had an imposing physical appearance .

but he had no education.

no schooling.

Pickler

My JW mum knew everything there was to know about everything, always!!!

This became more clear to me after I was DF & became a parent myself. I've had experiences that she cannot comprehend, like, life changing illness/near death experiences, travel, career etc etc

When she has heard these things her immediate response is to lecture me.....based on what? I don't know? An article in Awake or Watchtower? I have actually had the experience......but, that doesn't count when compared with what she is going to tell me about it!!!! She is now going to lecture me on my life....by telling me what she knows, which is what the org has told her!!!

She could actually listen to me, but, I'm not Gods organisation, so what would be the point?

i haven't actually spoken to her for years now anyway, I'm sure she's still the worlds expert on everything.

50

People who pioneer on government assistance

by ilikecheese in

jw
friends

i had a chat with my boyfriend about this, and he said that he knows quite a few pioneers who are capable of working but prefer to pioneer with government assistance.

his thought was, "well, it's kind of bad, but at least they're doing something useful/good with their time.

" i know from reading this board that it's a pretty widespread thing.

Pickler

I remember, the more lowly your job = the more highly regarded you were in the hall. Anyone who had a half way decent job was viewed with suspicion. Unless of course you happened to be part of a highly regarded family, or an elders family. They seemed to live under different rules.

My orginal congregations were full of builders and window washers. There were brothers who owned these business though, and I think they did very well out of them. They had a cheap supply of labour by employing all the young brothers or sisters who left school at 14 years and 9 months (this was the legal age for leaving then).

These young kids spent the first 2 years out of school spending money, buying cars & getting married. Then begins the slow process of realising that being a window washer is not a career and.....maybe your going to have to support yourself & your family for a long time!

cue a "bad back" and the disability cycle begins!

42

Leaving...

by LouBelle in

jw
friends

i just broke down in such an ugly cry at work.

walked outside and just sobbed my guts out.

i am so very unhappy here.

Pickler

Fingers crossed for you Lou B, if the job is making you so unhappy, get out!

Have a good nights sleep & re think it, things look better in the morning.

53

The watchtower is making some dangerous enemies

by 20yearfader in

this weekend i spent time with a friend that i haven't seen since high school,that would be 22 years.he grew up the same way i did being a born in.he and i both received our share of beatings related to the wt org coming to the hall without a song book not getting a comment low hours in field service etc....where we differ is the fact that his stepdad was beating him with his fist i got the belt or a stick.he would come to school with black eyes due to his infractions with the hall.after we left schoo we lost touch since he was still living at home an going to the meetings and i wasn't, kicked out at 17 so that ending my time with the org.he stayed at home until 21 still getting his fair share of beatings due to any sort of failing that had to do with the org.he left after one beating and joined the marines,he was dfed.while in the marines he told me he asked an got sniper training becoming a deadly shot,he also told me he always volunteered for the most dangerous missions.i can see that he was doing this to escape the pain of his upbringing even to his subconscious mind secrectly hoping to die on one of these missions.he tells me he has some sort of nerve disability that will progress until he cant walk,he has hearing loss due to a grenade going off by his head'he knows one day he will be in a wheelchair disabled it's only a matter of time.he hasn't spoke to his mother and his family in over 20 years they care nothing about him not even returning the calls he leaves on there answering machine,he told me he calls once a month for the past 20 years.sitting here at my house he says out of the clear blue you know i've thought a lot about going to brooklyn and with the skills i have i could do a lot of damage to those men that have ruined my life.i talked him out of it i think,i told him about this site where he could come to vent,because i think he needs to vent badly.i don't know what will happen to him when he is told his quality of life will get worse and if he will revisit the idea of lashing out at what he thinks has ruin his life,i don't know what he will do and even though i think i talked him out of doing anything,can i really say i blame him.i'm in the same boat my family is fractured broken all because of some men,men in brooklyn that hold more control over my family than i can,i wonder do thay ever think about the countless people that they affect with there shunning methods how many broken families they leave in there wake.i will say one thing there are many others out there that think the way my friend does i feel it's only a matter of time before karma comes a knocking..

Pickler

I hate the WTBTS, but, even without their influence his parents still sound absolutely awful. They would have been sh*t no matter what.

How come the WTBTS never seems to bring out the best in anyone, rather, seems to provide a haven for some of the worst parents & abusers?

Is it because once someone is in they get validation for just attending the hall? Really, do they ever sit there & genuinely think, what kind of a parent/person am I?

No, because they sit there hearing how they are better than everyone else in the world, then they can go home & beat up their kids with a clean conscience, monsters!!!!!!!!

63

marrying younger spouses

by ssn587 in

jw
friends

my wife passed away 2 years ago we had been married over 30 years, i have since remarried and my new wife is younger than 3 of my children from my first marriage.

i just wondering if there are any more like me out there.

i stay in excellent shape for my age, work out almost daily eat good and have absolutely no medical problems or at least none i can do anything about, bad knees, but my vitals are excellent, and i am known as the teenage because of them when i have my yearly medical checkup.. so was wondering if there are others out there like me, and what some may think about it, just for the record i am extremely happy once again, and we have a 18 month boy who delights me, have a whole new outlook on fatherhood and child raising.

Pickler

I am the "young wife" married a man a lot older than me. Have been married now for 15 years.

I see every ones points of view. Now I'm older myself I think you have to be very careful going into an unequal relationship.

it is unequal, when someone is so much older than you. They do have more power, financially and mentally, they are stronger, tougher, know how to get what they want in the relationship.

When you are in your 20s it's about exploring, you are relaxed, nothing feels permanent, at least that's how I was. I'd only been out of the JW for a few years. I had no family. I was in a city where I knew no one. My previous boyfriend was a 19yo backpacker (that was a lot of fun!). Then I went out with a guy in his 40s, who I later married.

We were happy, but, honestly all the parameters were set by my husband. By the time I realised this it was too late. For example, he already had money, a house, financial security, career etc etc. sounds good right? It is, but you miss out on creating anything yourself, then you don't have the shared memories, because they've already done everything & are over it. So you just have to go along with what they have already decided, it is unequal.

Im not saying it can't work, but, it's harder than if you have grown together.

28

Anxiety Attacks At Meetings

by EmptyInside in

jw
friends

i believe i posted on this before.

but,i was recently thinking back when i was still regularly going to meetings.

and how sometimes,just the thought of having to start to get ready to go,sent me in a panic.

Pickler

This really brings back memories! Earliest, I remember drifting off into waking dreams through all meetings. I used to even plan what to think about as a way to block my mind, I would also breathe slowly & deeply. Many years later I realised I was actually putting myself into a trance during meetings.

Later, meetings made me sick with misery. The feeling that I was just wasting away, dying inside. It was horrendous. One time I burst into tears 20 mins or so before I was due to give a talk. I had to make up some b*ll sh*t excuse about being ill, but, really, I just couldn't bear the thought of having to get up on stage. I felt like the words would choke in my throat.

It's such a lonely feeling. There's no one to talk to when you feel like that - not pre Internet anyway, everyone else seemed so happy.

94

What does 100 calories look like?

by jgnat in

have you ever marvelled, as i have, at the marketing genius that sells us less food for more money?

the marketer who came up with the "100 calorie" packaging ploy deserves a consumer's medal.

i am recording my own 100 calorie snack wonders, that are balanced for a diabetic (carb, protein, and roughage).

Pickler

I'm late to this discussion, but, anyway....I did something called the Whole 30. For 30 days you eat only meat, vegetables, fruit and black coffee/water. It was amazing. It made me realise how much of my snacking was just because I craved sugar/salt.

Since that time I've added sourdough bread & pasta/rice back into the family diet. But that's it. If you are making meals with food, real food, fresh, not things in packets, then you can't go wrong! Unless your portions are too big of course, but, just use the same plate & serve up the family & freeze leftovers.

This worKs really well, I can honestly say I'm never really hungry, and my weight is good. The experience made me realise that eating junky food puts you in a kind of destructive cycle, the more you eat it, the more you want it. Better not to have it at all!

Oh, and my daughter has a metabolic syndrome where she requires a high fat, high salt diet! You should see what she eats.....but, she hates it & wishes she could live on salads. I have to find sneaky ways of adding calories to her food!

28

Sad Discussion Regarding Beards

by turtleturtle in

so both my wife and i are awake to ttatt.

we are still active, patiently waiting for the org to implode.

being active, it is evident this is happening as a quickening.. we were having a discussion regarding shaving & beards.

Pickler

I love beards. I love that whole 3 day growth look.

Sadly, I also sneakily love long hair on men.

What a waste! How ridiculous this org is!