What Now? and Belize, WELCOME!!!
WhatNow, as your "friend" outed you before you were ready, it's only natural that you feel off-kilter. All that new and shiny jdub stuff is just superficial fluff, though, and you're not missing a thing. It's like a clique of high school girls who focus on new fads all the time...it's not that you're not cool cause you don't fit in, it's that they are nutso for attention.
The best thing you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to be happy. You are not wrong. You are not a bad mommy. You are a wonderful person who has escaped a horrible cult and should be so proud of herself for saving her child from growing up in an absolutely ridiculous, soul-numbing environment. Good for you!!!
Don't worry that you don't have instant friends on the outside of the bOrg...give it some time. The most important thing you can do is RELAX. While it's sad to have others shun you, remember that IT'S THEIR LOSS and not yours. You are obviously intelligent, caring and loving and are the one to be missed.
So WE are happy you're here!!!
And Belize, same to you!!! So happy you are here with us.