Dear Stumbline,
Welcome to the boards here at JWN. You'll find thousands here who have also suffered but came here for help and hope...and found it. Everyone here is at some stage of learning to think independently of the jws, and there is no "official" line of thought here. We are each our own person and you'll see that reflected in the different types of answers you receive and the differing opinions you'll get.
Being raised in a jw family, you were never taught to think for yourself. You were only taught to obey. But every human being has the right to make their own course in life, think for themself, make their own decisions - it's a new journey outside of the wt org. Don't be afraid! You were designed to live in the world, not inside a group working to control our every thought and action. Just take each day one step at a time.
As an adult, you get to choose how you think - what you believe in - how you act - whom you love - whom you associate with - how you dress - what movies you watch - what your "moral" beliefs are - what to do with your time - what music you listen to - and on and on and on....YOU're in control.
I know it's a big transition. Some find it easy and quick to become who they are meant to be, while some take it slower. That doesn't matter, what matters is that you have a real life ahead of you.
So make your decisions wisely. I'm sure it's easy to be angry thinking of your mom cutting off communications, but remember she's doing what her jw-controlled mind is wired to do. The only way to break through that is with some real heart-to-heart conversation. An important point is to let her know that you feel you were treated unjustly, and use an outside (worldly) example to get her to think about it...you could ask her "Mom, if the police in South America locked me up and said that I was a drug smuggler, and I wasn't, would you fight for me to get out or would you just accept their judgment and write me off?" You can probably come up with a better example, but the thing is to get her to see the situation with her heart and not with her jw-mind-controlled self.
If you do decide to move out, it may relieve some of your daily pressures but will be a whole new adventure. Think about it carefully and hard as it is, try to let your logical brain help your emotional brain to work out your situation and your future.
I'm a mom with a daughter your age. I used to be the strict toe-the-line jw mom. Thank goodness I found my way out and found how to love my kids and others unconditionally. I can't get a do-over on my kids' past, but I can make it better now. Your mom loves you, but while she's inside jw-land she has every thought and action dictated by men who don't even care about her or you. Much like your df'ing, which is ridiculous. YOU are not bad in any way! And your private life is PRIVATE. Men who try to force you to share intimate details of your life are disgusting and perverted.
Your mom is stuck in her thinking, as is most everyone at your hall. So try to keep your anger directed at the men who run this organization and use their mean-spirited and self-serving mind control tactics on people who are just looking to do "the right thing" in their lives. The ones who make the rules and keep up the mind control are the monsters. Your mom and your jw friends are not mean, unloving, or unkind...they are just going through life with jw-blinders on. Those blinders keep them in line. All the rest of us can do is to help them get the blinders off.
Your df process may have saved the rest of your life. Once you heal from the trauma, and even during, you can build the life that is right for YOU.
Much love to you. (((hugs)))
p.s. If you ever want to have private conversation with anyone on these boards, you can click on the envelope by your site name in the upper right-hand corner. Feel free to send me a note if you want to talk, I'm here every day at various times.