Posts by WildTurkey

Women's Dictionary

by WildTurkey in

argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. a discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

airhead (er*hed) n. what a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.. .

bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. you bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner.".

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.

Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.

Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."

Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.

Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.

Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.

Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.

Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.

Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.

Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.

Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."

Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.

Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."

Lipstick (lip*stik) n. On your lips, coloring to enhance the beauty of your mouth. On his collar, coloring only a tramp would wear...!

Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.

Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."

Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.

Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card!

29

Dreams again,(WARNING TRIGGERS)calling LadyLee & Big T

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

i woke up crying again just a little while ago,,,,,,,,again it was a dream .

i just can't go into details of all the horror, but will touch on certain parts of the dream that i feel the most able to talk about .it was about my sister, mother, father, (his wife named satan,) and me.

basically , i can say there was child abuse of my sister .......at one point of the dream.

WildTurkey

opps,,,,,,,,,forgot to log off.......

21

What quality do you look for in a friend?

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

.

what quality do you look for in a friend?.

to me loyalty is very important, i can?t hang around ppl i don?t trust.. what is important to you?

WildTurkey

Mega I know you and I are friends so i guess you will take 2 out of 3 huh?

17

Hey JOANNA and EYEGIRL!!!!!!!!!! Ya'll gonna call me tonite at Your bar?

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

oh yeah ,,,,,,,,,,,after my crappy morning and no sleep,,,,,,,,,i have decided to go out and have a little fun tonite.

as you know joho...........i mean joanna,,,,,,,,.

well , darn some of the folks are quiet entertaining.......many seed cap wearing , older , way older , did i say old.....toothless men.

WildTurkey

Just be careful what time you call her, I have plans for her tonight.

21

What quality do you look for in a friend?

by WildTurkey in

jw
friends

.

what quality do you look for in a friend?.

to me loyalty is very important, i can?t hang around ppl i don?t trust.. what is important to you?

WildTurkey

What quality do you look for in a friend?

To me loyalty is very important, I can?t hang around ppl I don?t trust.

What is important to you?

27

Going out tonight??

by Puternut in

jw
friends

ok, it's the weekend.

you're bored at home, you want to go have some fun.

talk to someone, have some laughs, perhaps dance.

WildTurkey

my best lines

The word of the day is "legs." Let's go back to my place and spread the word.

That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.

I want to melt in your mouth, not in your hand.

I like every bone in your body especially mine.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll see what pops up?

Will you be my love buffet so I can lay you out on a table and take anything I want?

Why don't you sit on my face and let me eat my way to your heart?

Baby I'm like milk, I'll do your body good.

Is that a mirror in your pants because I can see myself in them.

Hey baby lets play army I'll lay down you can blow me up.

If your left is thanksgiving and your right leg is Christmas can I visit you in-between the holidays

If I told you that you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

You're like a Pringles. Once I pop you, I can't stop you!

I want to kiss you passionately on the lips, and then move up to your belly-button.

Is it hot in here or is it just you?

If you were a car door I would slam you all night long

Baby, your so fine, I want to pour milk all over you and make you part of my complete breakfast.

How about you sit on my lap and we'll straighten things out

Baby, I'd run a mile for your vertical smile. Nice shirt.... wanna fuck?

If I could rearrange the alphabet I'd put U and I together.

Are you from Tennessee? Because you're the only ten I see!

Can I have fries with that shake!

I've got the F, the C, and the K. All I need is U.

You're so sweet you're giving me a toothache.

Hey baby, can I tickle your belly button from the inside?

If I had eleven roses and you, I'd have a dozen.

Hi, I'm new in town. Can I have directions to your house?

Pardon my is there a mirror in your pocket because I can see myself in your pants.

Do you know CPR because you take my breath away.

Your daddy must of been a drug dealer 'cause you're dope.

My face is leaving in 15 minutes...be on it!

I'd look good on you.

When does your centerfold come out.

So do ya wanna see something really swell?

I've seem to have lost my number, can I have yours?

I've got the hot dog and you got the buns.

Is your name Gillette? ...because you're the best a man can get.

Are we near the airport or is that just my heart taking off?

I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I sure can make your bed rock.

You have nice legs. What time do they open?

Do you like Subway? How about my foot long?

Hey that dress looks nice. Can I talk you out of it.

Is that a keg in your pants? Cause I'd just love to tap that ass!

Are those pants from outer space? Cause that ass is out of this world.

You're like a championship bass, I don't know if I should mount you or eat you.

Is your dad a terrorist? Because your the bomb!

Are you a parking ticket cause you have fine written all over you.

18

Just when I thought I didn't hurt over the JW's Shunning,,,,,,,, I dream :(

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

for such a long time, i haven't had any dreams dealing with my jw issues, and mostly i just pick and make fun of my old jw days.. last night i dreamed another dream about old friends and it was painful.

i woke myself up crying.. i dreamed my family that are all out, in laws included where at a convention.....there was one sweet girl that we have known since she was a baby and she was waving and smiling at us from afar.. i was worried she would get in trouble, and wondered if she knew we were d/a.

( of course in real life she knows).. as the dream went on , more and more of the faces of so many of the witnesses started to appear.

WildTurkey

sorry this was so long.

Dede stop using my words.

Dede you really worked hard when you were a Jw to help ppl, and you were dearly loved by many.

You can always tell the ones that don?t like to shun, the others are self-righteous .

Love you darlin

18

Just when I thought I didn't hurt over the JW's Shunning,,,,,,,, I dream :(

by LyinEyes in

jw
friends

for such a long time, i haven't had any dreams dealing with my jw issues, and mostly i just pick and make fun of my old jw days.. last night i dreamed another dream about old friends and it was painful.

i woke myself up crying.. i dreamed my family that are all out, in laws included where at a convention.....there was one sweet girl that we have known since she was a baby and she was waving and smiling at us from afar.. i was worried she would get in trouble, and wondered if she knew we were d/a.

( of course in real life she knows).. as the dream went on , more and more of the faces of so many of the witnesses started to appear.

WildTurkey

LOL @ Valis. Hey my twisted sick brother this might shock you ,but I did go into the KH a few months ago. I?m not going to tell what I was there for on the board but I was drunk and I walked in with a beer in my hand.

17