Hey G,
I don't like the word cult either. It's basically a religious insult. JW's are, by and large regular people who try to do what is right. There are a few that are not nice - even evil, but not more than what you'd expect in regular society. When the obey the teachings of the Watchtower, however, they can have devestating effects on people and families. People do regard the JW's as part of a "high control group". There are a number of things that lead them to conclude so, like this:
I'm .....tired of the responsibility. Tired of the lofty expectations. I've had many worthwhile goals in my life. The one at 6 was just the first. Exhustion is the perfect word. I'm exhusted of trying to live by the rules, ..... And I'm tired of feeling like everyone is pulling in every direction.
This, combined with the blackmail effect that shunning has on your family and social life is powerful.
As far as war's go MOST religions do not advocate war. The Pope was vocal against every war I've seen. Many other religions also advocate "Alternative Military Service" like Watchtower does. These include Quakers, Amish, mennonites Adventists and others. Also, in WW2 Germany, the majority of conscientious objectors were NOT JW's. Of the 13,000 only about 1500 were JW's.
This is just to give you some perspective, not to argue. You will never hear other religions praised in the Kingdom hall. You will only hear praise for JW's and reports of persecution of JW's. This despite that JW's make up only a small miniscule portion of Christians who are persecuted worldwide. Look at the above links. JW's also, are taught not to be generous to non-JW's. This was recently evidenced by the shocking LACK of any substantive responce by headquarters to the devestating Tsunami. Since there were few JW's in this are, they hardly blinked.
Don't take this personally, but I think you need to "man up" and take control of your life. You seem to be drifting in the wind, letting everyone sway and affect you. This is symptomatic of people who have been JW's for a long time.
Remember, this is the only life you know for SURE you have. Quit pissing it away.
-FW